Gift Card Shower

Knottie1430437538 · May 2015

I am having a shower for a niece. She is from the U.S. but has been living in Thailand for 7 years. She is marring a wonderful Thai man. The wedding will be in Thailand. It will be impossible for her to bring back gifts to Thailand. (And they might be moving after the wedding to another country) I would like to have a "gift card shower" for her. I know many think it is "tacky". And what do you think about a Master Card gift card? I am at a loss on how to put all this together.

I am also going to include in the invitation a 3x5 card asking them to share marriage advice that the bride can open and read at the shower. PLEASE HELP

Maggie0829 · May 2015

Knottie1430437538 said:
I am having a shower for a niece. She is from the U.S. but has been living in Thailand for 7 years. She is marring a wonderful Thai man. The wedding will be in Thailand. It will be impossible for her to bring back gifts to Thailand. (And they might be moving after the wedding to another country) I would like to have a "gift card shower" for her. I know many think it is "tacky". And what do you think about a Master Card gift card? I am at a loss on how to put all this together.
I am also going to include in the invitation a 3x5 card asking them to share marriage advice that the bride can open and read at the shower. PLEASE HELP

Yeah a gift card shower is tacky so I think you should not host such an affair.

Why not just host a luncheon for the bride and her nearest and dearest? No gifts are expected and it is just a time for everyone to get together and have some fun before the wedding.

Oh and just remember that anyone invited to any pre-wedding party must also be invited to the wedding.

KatWAG · May 2015

Knottie1430437538 said:
I am having a shower for a niece. She is from the U.S. but has been living in Thailand for 7 years. She is marring a wonderful Thai man. The wedding will be in Thailand. It will be impossible for her to bring back gifts to Thailand. (And they might be moving after the wedding to another country) I would like to have a "gift card shower" for her. I know many think it is "tacky". And what do you think about a Master Card gift card? I am at a loss on how to put all this together.
I am also going to include in the invitation a 3x5 card asking them to share marriage advice that the bride can open and read at the shower. PLEASE HELP

Many people thinks it's tacky because it is tacky.

Bridal / Baby showers are meant the shower the guest of honor with physical gifts. If that isn't possible for whatever reason, then don't have a shower. They are not a mandatory part of the wedding process.

KatieinBkln · May 2015

I'm in a similar situation as a bride--I live far from where my wedding/family live, so rather than throwing a shower, our family friends are doing a "bridal tea." Just friends, refreshments, and good times, no gifts involved. Easy peasy!

southernbelle0915 · May 2015

Showers are for boxed gifts. It's against etiquette to ask for money - hence why people think gift card showers are tacky.

What you could do for her would be to host a bridal brunch or luncheon. These are non-gift giving events and just a chance for everyone to get together and celebrate.

Also, is she coming back to the states for this? It would be mighty long flight just for a pre-wedding party.

lyndausvi · May 2015

Even if it was okay, most Visa/Mastercard and Amex gift cards do not work outside of the US.

I received a couple for my own wedding. I was living in the US Virgin Islands. They didn't even work there. We happen to look at the GC before returning to the USVI and used them for dinners, gas, basically anything we could before we went home because they were pretty useless down there.

LondonLisa · May 2015

If your niece can afford to fly from Thailand to the US for a bridal shower, she can afford the US$50-100 for an extra suitcase or two to fly back with the gifts. You get 23 kgs (about 50 lbs) per suitcase, that is fairly generous. I doubt any bride on here had over 100lbs of wedding gifts (if you take out obvious heavy things like a stand mixer, cast iron pot or a dyson)

If you are dead set on a shower, she should register for towels, sheets, light picture frames, candlesticks, light kitchen goods (baking trays, spatulas, knife sets), tablecloths etc.

Showers are for physical gifts only. No gift cards or cash. The bride must also open all of the gifts in front of people and is also responsible for shipping her own gifts.

I have been given US gift cards from friends who live in the states- they are useless in another country (I have to order and ship things to friends and then have them send them to me- major stores don't even ship to the UK if you have a gift card).

LondonLisa · May 2015

afox007 said:
Gift card showers are tacky.

This is probably a stretch given the location, but are there any stores near you that are also near your niece? If you/her really need to have a shower she could register at a store that she has at home return the gifts and reorder them for pick up at her home store.

Another option is she could set up a registry for lighter weight items that she needs ie towels, sheets, small cooking utensils, and either store them in her luggage or ship them back home.

Stores, gift cards and store credit don't work internationally. Someone sent me a pottery barn vase from the US I already owned. I tried to return it to the pottery barn in London and they said no, even though it was the same product. They explained that Pottery Barn US and Pottery Barn UK are entirely different companies. Even so, how would you spend store credit received in dollars and then try to buy in Thai Bhat? Their registers aren't handled to buy in multiple currencies. If I gave you a Pottery Barn store credit in pounds sterling, do you think you could take it to your local one and spend it?

JoanE2012 · May 2015

Skip the shower. Showers are not a requirement to get married and, obviously in this case, it doesn't make sense. (A gift card shower is tacky!)

As Maggie mentioned, host a nice luncheon if you feel inclined to do something.

banana468 · May 2015

I'd skip calling it a shower and instead call it a luncheon. If the people invited aren't going to be invited to the wedding it's already an etiquette no no.

Then if people call and ask about gifts, you can say that gift cards make the most sense.

flantastic · May 2015

Knottie1430437538 said:
I am having a shower for a niece. She is from the U.S. but has been living in Thailand for 7 years. She is marring a wonderful Thai man. The wedding will be in Thailand. It will be impossible for her to bring back gifts to Thailand. (And they might be moving after the wedding to another country) I would like to have a "gift card shower" for her. I know many think it is "tacky". And what do you think about a Master Card gift card? I am at a loss on how to put all this together.
I am also going to include in the invitation a 3x5 card asking them to share marriage advice that the bride can open and read at the shower. PLEASE HELP

Nope. Showers are for gifts, especially physical gifts. You can't dictate that the gifts be only ___ thing. If the couple cannot handle the transportation of any gifts they receive (that means whatever gifts are given at the discretion of the guest) they can't have a shower.

However, they can have a luncheon/get-together/etc. like Maggie suggested, where gifts are not an element.

KatWAG · May 2015

KatieinBkln said:
I'm in a similar situation as a bride--I live far from where my wedding/family live, so rather than throwing a shower, our family friends are doing a "bridal tea." Just friends, refreshments, and good times, no gifts involved. Easy peasy!

But isn't the whole point of a wedding to get gifts?

[Deleted User] · May 2015

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Jen4948 · May 2015

As PPs suggest, change the type of party this is from a "shower" to a "luncheon" or something that does not imply that gifts are expected. Gift cards and cash are not suitable shower gifts, since the point of a shower is for the recipient to open the gifts in the guests' presence. Since in this instance, physical gifts are not practical, a shower wouldn't be appropriate.

levioosa · May 2015

Looks like your niece isn't getting a shower then.

As PPs have said, host a nice luncheon so everyone can get together and socialize. A gift card shower is tacky, and should absolutely be avoided. In addition, MC/VISA GCs are a pain in the ass. Some places won't take them (because won't scan properly) and if they are inactive for short periods of time they take money from them automatically.

afox007 · May 2015

Gift card showers are tacky.

This is probably a stretch given the location, but are there any stores near you that are also near your niece? If you/her really need to have a shower she could register at a store that she has at home return the gifts and reorder them for pick up at her home store.

Another option is she could set up a registry for lighter weight items that she needs ie towels, sheets, small cooking utensils, and either store them in her luggage or ship them back home.

taurawiz · June 2015

I am here to support you. All these people who bash gift card showers are just bad people. I thought the whole point of the bridal shower was to gift the bride and groom what they needed to start their happy life together. Anyone who bashes a gift card shower is just stuck to old traditions. I just threw a gift card shower for my sister and everyone said it was the best shower they had ever been too. My sisters situation is that they live with their in-laws and don't have a home to store all of their belongings in just yet. They are currently shopping so that after the wedding they can move in. She already feels like she is imposing on her in-laws space. Here is what I did. The front of the invite was all the regular info. The back had the gift suggestions. The shower was a Cocktail Hour Bridal Shower, so that the main focus would be spending time and conversation with your guests. There is no point in opening all those gift cards in front of a crowd. And lets be honest, shouldn't our guest want to have quality time with us instead of being forced to watch us open the same old presents every shower. Its not like we don't know what we are getting anymore. We hand pick everything on our registry before they buy it. SO the following saying was on the back of the invite:

Tess and Steve do not have the nest to store all their eggs in just yet. We are requesting that you gift them something from the following suggested presents listed below to help them fill their home in the future.

There will be a large basket for you to place your gifts and cards in at the shower, which will be presented to the bride from all of us with love.

Suggested Gifts:

Gift Cards for: Bed Bath & Beyond, Home Goods, Target, Amazon, Costco, & Babies R Us

OR A Welcome $$ Donation towards their "Nest To Be"

Thank You!

Hope you don't take all the negative comments to heart. Those people are wrong. The bride should get what works for her situation. Not some bogus shower based on fake rules.

onefootinthebayou · June 2015

taurawiz said:

I am here to support you. All these people who bash gift card showers are just bad people. I thought the whole point of the bridal shower was to gift the bride and groom what they needed to start their happy life together. Anyone who bashes a gift card shower is just stuck to old traditions. I just threw a gift card shower for my sister and everyone said it was the best shower they had ever been too. My sisters situation is that they live with their in-laws and don't have a home to store all of their belongings in just yet. They are currently shopping so that after the wedding they can move in. She already feels like she is imposing on her in-laws space. Here is what I did. The front of the invite was all the regular info. The back had the gift suggestions. The shower was a Cocktail Hour Bridal Shower, so that the main focus would be spending time and conversation with your guests. There is no point in opening all those gift cards in front of a crowd. And lets be honest, shouldn't our guest want to have quality time with us instead of being forced to watch us open the same old presents every shower. Its not like we don't know what we are getting anymore. We hand pick everything on our registry before they buy it. SO the following saying was on the back of the invite:

Tess and Steve do not have the nest to store all their eggs in just yet. We are requesting that you gift them something from the following suggested presents listed below to help them fill their home in the future.

There will be a large basket for you to place your gifts and cards in at the shower, which will be presented to the bride from all of us with love.

Suggested Gifts:
Gift Cards for: Bed Bath & Beyond, Home Goods, Target, Amazon, Costco, & Babies R Us
OR A Welcome $$ Donation towards their "Nest To Be"
Thank You!

Hope you don't take all the negative comments to heart. Those people are wrong. The bride should get what works for her situation. Not some bogus shower based on fake rules.

LOL please tell me you are joking/trolling/pulling our leg with this. Hahahahahahahaha! That was amazing.

photokitty · June 2015

taurawiz said:
I am here to support you. All these people who bash gift card showers are just bad people. I thought the whole point of the bridal shower was to gift the bride and groom what they needed to start their happy life together. Anyone who bashes a gift card shower is just stuck to old traditions. I just threw a gift card shower for my sister and everyone said it was the best shower they had ever been too. My sisters situation is that they live with their in-laws and don't have a home to store all of their belongings in just yet. They are currently shopping so that after the wedding they can move in. She already feels like she is imposing on her in-laws space. Here is what I did. The front of the invite was all the regular info. The back had the gift suggestions. The shower was a Cocktail Hour Bridal Shower, so that the main focus would be spending time and conversation with your guests. There is no point in opening all those gift cards in front of a crowd. And lets be honest, shouldn't our guest want to have quality time with us instead of being forced to watch us open the same old presents every shower. Its not like we don't know what we are getting anymore. We hand pick everything on our registry before they buy it. SO the following saying was on the back of the invite:

Tess and Steve do not have the nest to store all their eggs in just yet. We are requesting that you gift them something from the following suggested presents listed below to help them fill their home in the future.

There will be a large basket for you to place your gifts and cards in at the shower, which will be presented to the bride from all of us with love.

Suggested Gifts:
Gift Cards for: Bed Bath & Beyond, Home Goods, Target, Amazon, Costco, & Babies R Us
OR A Welcome $$ Donation towards their "Nest To Be"
Thank You!

Hope you don't take all the negative comments to heart. Those people are wrong. The bride should get what works for her situation. Not some bogus shower based on fake rules.

Pardon me. I just threw up in my mouth. Gross.

lyndausvi · June 2015

taurawiz said:

I am here to support you. All these people who bash gift card showers are just bad people. I thought the whole point of the bridal shower was to gift the bride and groom what they needed to start their happy life together. Anyone who bashes a gift card shower is just stuck to old traditions. I just threw a gift card shower for my sister and everyone said it was the best shower they had ever been too. My sisters situation is that they live with their in-laws and don't have a home to store all of their belongings in just yet. They are currently shopping so that after the wedding they can move in. She already feels like she is imposing on her in-laws space. Here is what I did. The front of the invite was all the regular info. The back had the gift suggestions. The shower was a Cocktail Hour Bridal Shower, so that the main focus would be spending time and conversation with your guests. There is no point in opening all those gift cards in front of a crowd. And lets be honest, shouldn't our guest want to have quality time with us instead of being forced to watch us open the same old presents every shower. Its not like we don't know what we are getting anymore. We hand pick everything on our registry before they buy it. SO the following saying was on the back of the invite:

Tess and Steve do not have the nest to store all their eggs in just yet. We are requesting that you gift them something from the following suggested presents listed below to help them fill their home in the future.

There will be a large basket for you to place your gifts and cards in at the shower, which will be presented to the bride from all of us with love.

Suggested Gifts:
Gift Cards for: Bed Bath & Beyond, Home Goods, Target, Amazon, Costco, & Babies R Us
OR A Welcome $$ Donation towards their "Nest To Be"
Thank You!

Hope you don't take all the negative comments to heart. Those people are wrong. The bride should get what works for her situation. Not some bogus shower based on fake rules.

THE BRIDE LIVES IN THAILAND!

Even if it is okay, the GC will NOT work over there. Even Visa/MasterCard/Amex gift cards often do not work outside of the US.

Why buy a bunch of cards that are basically useless to this bride?

BTW - I know first hand. I lived out of the country. I got a few GC as wedding gifts. I could only use them in the states.

emmaaa · June 2015

taurawiz said:

I am here to support you. All these people who bash gift card showers are just bad people. I thought the whole point of the bridal shower was to gift the bride and groom what they needed to start their happy life together. Anyone who bashes a gift card shower is just stuck to old traditions. I just threw a gift card shower for my sister and everyone said it was the best shower they had ever been too. My sisters situation is that they live with their in-laws and don't have a home to store all of their belongings in just yet. They are currently shopping so that after the wedding they can move in. She already feels like she is imposing on her in-laws space. Here is what I did. The front of the invite was all the regular info. The back had the gift suggestions. The shower was a Cocktail Hour Bridal Shower, so that the main focus would be spending time and conversation with your guests. There is no point in opening all those gift cards in front of a crowd. And lets be honest, shouldn't our guest want to have quality time with us instead of being forced to watch us open the same old presents every shower. Its not like we don't know what we are getting anymore. We hand pick everything on our registry before they buy it. SO the following saying was on the back of the invite:

Tess and Steve do not have the nest to store all their eggs in just yet. We are requesting that you gift them something from the following suggested presents listed below to help them fill their home in the future.

There will be a large basket for you to place your gifts and cards in at the shower, which will be presented to the bride from all of us with love.

Suggested Gifts:
Gift Cards for: Bed Bath & Beyond, Home Goods, Target, Amazon, Costco, & Babies R Us
OR A Welcome $$ Donation towards their "Nest To Be"
Thank You!

Hope you don't take all the negative comments to heart. Those people are wrong. The bride should get what works for her situation. Not some bogus shower based on fake rules.

taurawiz I'm here to tell you that it is rude and will always be rude. Gift card showers are the equivalent to asking for money and asking for money is rude. A bride and groom do not NEED anything from anyone to start their lives together. A marriage is perfectly acceptable if no shower is thrown or gifts (money) is received.

I went to a "gift card shower" this weekend. I gave cash. As soon as I got the invitation, I rolled my eyes HARD. I just kept thinking how rude it was. I am 24 years old, so I am not an older person who you would normally equate to being stuck in tradition for the sake of tradition. And even though I went to the "shower," I still judged the couple on how tacky gift card showers are.

OP, do not do this, friends and family WILL judge the bride and you for throwing it.

WinstonsGirl · June 2015

taurawiz said:

I am here to support you. All these people who bash gift card showers are just bad people. I thought the whole point of the bridal shower was to gift the bride and groom what they needed to start their happy life together. Anyone who bashes a gift card shower is just stuck to old traditions. I just threw a gift card shower for my sister and everyone said it was the best shower they had ever been too. My sisters situation is that they live with their in-laws and don't have a home to store all of their belongings in just yet. They are currently shopping so that after the wedding they can move in. She already feels like she is imposing on her in-laws space. Here is what I did. The front of the invite was all the regular info. The back had the gift suggestions. The shower was a Cocktail Hour Bridal Shower, so that the main focus would be spending time and conversation with your guests. There is no point in opening all those gift cards in front of a crowd. And lets be honest, shouldn't our guest want to have quality time with us instead of being forced to watch us open the same old presents every shower. Its not like we don't know what we are getting anymore. We hand pick everything on our registry before they buy it. SO the following saying was on the back of the invite:

Tess and Steve do not have the nest to store all their eggs in just yet. We are requesting that you gift them something from the following suggested presents listed below to help them fill their home in the future.

There will be a large basket for you to place your gifts and cards in at the shower, which will be presented to the bride from all of us with love.

Suggested Gifts:
Gift Cards for: Bed Bath & Beyond, Home Goods, Target, Amazon, Costco, & Babies R Us
OR A Welcome $$ Donation towards their "Nest To Be"
Thank You!

Hope you don't take all the negative comments to heart. Those people are wrong. The bride should get what works for her situation. Not some bogus shower based on fake rules.

Actually, I do want to watch this. I usually try to put some thought and time into buying gifts and I like to see if people like them when they open them.

A slightly different example, but for my nephew's 2nd birthday, my SIL didn't open gifts till everyone left. She said they didn't want him getting rilled up and hyper, so they were going to spread out the opening. I was pretty pissed cos I want to see him get excited about his gifts. Several other people complained and SIL had to let him open those gifts before people left.

AddieCake · June 2015

People who don't like gift card showers are "bad people"? Hahahahahahahahahaha. You should probably get out more.

Heffalump · June 2015

taurawiz said:

Suggested Gifts:
Gift Cards for: Bed Bath & Beyond, Home Goods, Target, Amazon, Costco, & Babies R Us
OR A Welcome $$ Donation towards their "Nest To Be"
Thank You!

Wait...was this a bridal shower, or a baby shower? Or sort of an omnibus "give us ALL the gift cards" shower?

If people don't want boxed gifts, they don't have a shower. Simple as that. If someone was going to give them a wedding gift--of their own choosing, not what the bride and groom (or someone in their wedding party) dictated they should give--then they will still give it.

MyNameIsNot · June 2015

taurawiz said:

I am here to support you. All these people who bash gift card showers are just bad people. I thought the whole point of the bridal shower was to gift the bride and groom what they needed to start their happy life together. Anyone who bashes a gift card shower is just stuck to old traditions. I just threw a gift card shower for my sister and everyone said it was the best shower they had ever been too. My sisters situation is that they live with their in-laws and don't have a home to store all of their belongings in just yet. They are currently shopping so that after the wedding they can move in. She already feels like she is imposing on her in-laws space. Here is what I did. The front of the invite was all the regular info. The back had the gift suggestions. The shower was a Cocktail Hour Bridal Shower, so that the main focus would be spending time and conversation with your guests. There is no point in opening all those gift cards in front of a crowd. And lets be honest, shouldn't our guest want to have quality time with us instead of being forced to watch us open the same old presents every shower. Its not like we don't know what we are getting anymore. We hand pick everything on our registry before they buy it. SO the following saying was on the back of the invite:

Tess and Steve do not have the nest to store all their eggs in just yet. We are requesting that you gift them something from the following suggested presents listed below to help them fill their home in the future.

There will be a large basket for you to place your gifts and cards in at the shower, which will be presented to the bride from all of us with love.

Suggested Gifts:
Gift Cards for: Bed Bath & Beyond, Home Goods, Target, Amazon, Costco, & Babies R Us
OR A Welcome $$ Donation towards their "Nest To Be"
Thank You!

Hope you don't take all the negative comments to heart. Those people are wrong. The bride should get what works for her situation. Not some bogus shower based on fake rules.

Your poor sister! She must be mortified to have had such a rude shower thrown for her!

People who behave with a little dignity and manners are not bad people. If there are any bad people in the mix, it's the greedy, selfish types who would want a gift card shower. Gross.

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