Wedding Etiquette Forum

Seperate Gift Registies?

FI and I are no where near the stage of doing a gift registry if we even register, but already some people have approached me about gifts. Someone asked me the other day if we were doing a joint gift registry at Macy's and I replied we really hadn't thought about it and I tried to bean dip the conversation.  She then asked me if I as a bride would have my own separate registry for items. When I asked her what she meant, she suggested that in addition to the usual registry for the couple that the bride needed one for herself to ask for makeup, a designer bag, whatever. She even suggested the groom could have his own if he wanted.

I don't desire to do that but it was the first time I'd heard of a completely separate registry for just what the bride wants. Have I been living under a rock? Just curious.

Re: Seperate Gift Registies?

  • I have never heard of this either and frankly my first gut reaction would be that it is rude. Your wedding is a celebration of you both becoming one, joining together. Your gifts therefore are for both of you to start a life together. So that is why household items are standard registry gifts. Yes one of you might cook more than the other so might use the pots and pans more but the idea is the meal will be shared by both of you.

    So having a registry for just you, especially one filled with make up/clothes and other personal items I find odd. Like you just published your amazon wishlist right before your birthday or Christmas.
  • labrolabro member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    I've never heard of separate gift registries for the bride and groom. A wedding registry is for joint gifts - the things you need for starting your married life together. I'd definitely side eye a registry for make-up and other personal items.



  • FI and I are no where near the stage of doing a gift registry if we even register, but already some people have approached me about gifts. Someone asked me the other day if we were doing a joint gift registry at Macy's and I replied we really hadn't thought about it and I tried to bean dip the conversation.  She then asked me if I as a bride would have my own separate registry for items. When I asked her what she meant, she suggested that in addition to the usual registry for the couple that the bride needed one for herself to ask for makeup, a designer bag, whatever. She even suggested the groom could have his own if he wanted.

    I don't desire to do that but it was the first time I'd heard of a completely separate registry for just what the bride wants. Have I been living under a rock? Just curious.
    I've never heard of this. Ugh, no. Gifts on the occasion of a marriage should be for the couple, or at least for their mutual benefit if it's clear that one will use it more than the other.

    I mean, someone could get a bride a makeup bag, but that'd be weird. Under no circumstances should she suggest one via a registry.
  • edited April 2015
    That was my first reaction, too. I don't mind wish lists and have used one or two before on Amazon in trying to figure out a birthday gift but I would have hard time saying, "yes, we are registered at Macy's but I also have registered for myself at Sephora if anyone wants to buy me some eye shadow!"


  • I've never heard of this, and I'd side-eye the hell out of a registry with make up and a designer bag.

    I've heard of brides doing lingerie registries, but it's always been the elusive friend of a friend who did it. I don't actually know anyone that did, and would think it was weird if my friend registered for a bunch of underwear. 
  • I am so confused.  So you and your FI are supposed to have separate registries?  I have never heard of that before. The purpose of a registry is to help a couple build a life together.  I mean, yeah, of course I want that new palette from Urban Decay, but it would be inappropriate to register for it just because as the bride I want it.  This isn't a thing.


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  • The girl who suggested the separate registries to me did it when she got married three years ago.  I didn't know her then. She said they had two gift registries as a couple at Macy's and maybe Pottery Barn and she explained those were the wedding gifts.  She had her own separate registry for stuff she wanted for herself as bridal shower gifts because she saw a differentiation between a bridal gift and a wedding gift.

    She made it sound like it was no big deal meanwhile I'm trying to make my reaction not too obvious.

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  • I'm with you on the ridiculous reaction. 
  • I've never heard of this, and I think it's selfish and gross. 

    We put stuff on our registry that was geared more towards FI (like grill stuff, because he loves to grill, but I hardly ever grill) and stuff geared more towards me (a set of martini glasses; I love martinis and FI hardly ever drinks them) but that's as far as it went. 

    I would gladly get someone makeup for their birthday if they were a close enough friend that I bought birthday gifts for. Otherwise, no. 
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  • The girl who suggested the separate registries to me did it when she got married three years ago.  I didn't know her then. She said they had two gift registries as a couple at Macy's and maybe Pottery Barn and she explained those were the wedding gifts.  She had her own separate registry for stuff she wanted for herself as bridal shower gifts because she saw a differentiation between a bridal gift and a wedding gift.

    She made it sound like it was no big deal meanwhile I'm trying to make my reaction not too obvious.

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    But did her groom get to create his own registry?  Or is that kind of thing only for brides because they are more important?

    Good grief this girl sounds like a peach.

  • LOL what a strange suggestion. Wedding gifts are supposed to be for the couple. 

    If there are gifts that just one person wants, that's what birthdays and Christmas are for.
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  • @Maggie0829 - Something tells me since she suggested to me that FI could have his own registry if he wanted it that her groom probably had his own separate registry.

    She's definitely a peach and thankfully just someone I don't have to work with too often.  
  • @Maggie0829 - Something tells me since she suggested to me that FI could have his own registry if he wanted it that her groom probably had his own separate registry.

    She's definitely a peach and thankfully just someone I don't have to work with too often.  

    Oh so they are both peaches.

  • LMAO. I have seen this done is a single registry and it makes me fume. Bride wants an art set, groom needs new glasses, etc., etc..I personally refuse to buy gifts that are only for ONE person when TWO people are getting married. Sadly, though, I can't say I'm surprised that someone suggested it. Ugh.
  • This is something I've never heard of, but yeah, it sounds off the wall and rude.
  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer

    that just sounds weird!  hopefully that lady stops spreading that idea.  Maybe she wants to make it a "thing" so then she can do it for her wedding and get her expensive bag or makeup!

  • MnHGirlMnHGirl member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    Very rude- I have never heard of anyone doing that.


  • Oh god, NO.
  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Weird.

    I would not purchase personal items as a wedding OR bridal gift. 
  • I've never heard of that.  I agonized over registering.  I'm not having a shower and we've lived together for over two years so we're pretty good on the household items.  Eventually, we sat down and went through the whole apartment and decided to registry for small things we don't currently have (paper towel holder, napkin holder, place mats etc.) and then a couple larger items that we really need to replace (our microwave that's an ancient relic from the 90s).  Other than that we're asking for donations to our buy a house fund or gift cards in any amount to a list of places we frequent.  But yeah, I don't think I'd do a separate one of stuff just for me.  Although I did suggest that we put a new laptop on there since the one we use for Netflix keeps crapping out on us!
  • Never heard of it and would judge it for sure.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I have heard of this (but it was a grooms registry) and I do not support them.

    That being said, I would not side eye something like camping gear if the couple loves the outdoors, or a fancy beer making kit if the couple is into brewing craft beers. Hell I recently bought a bride and groom a robotic vacuum and one of those scrubbing bubbles auto shower cleaners they registered for because they hate cleaning (I thought it was hilarious). Overall I wouldn't even consider buying something if it didn't seem like it could be enjoyed by both members of the couple and people they may host in the future.
  • I've never heard of that.  I agonized over registering.  I'm not having a shower and we've lived together for over two years so we're pretty good on the household items.  Eventually, we sat down and went through the whole apartment and decided to registry for small things we don't currently have (paper towel holder, napkin holder, place mats etc.) and then a couple larger items that we really need to replace (our microwave that's an ancient relic from the 90s).  Other than that we're asking for donations to our buy a house fund or gift cards in any amount to a list of places we frequent.  But yeah, I don't think I'd do a separate one of stuff just for me.  Although I did suggest that we put a new laptop on there since the one we use for Netflix keeps crapping out on us!

    Your wedding is not a charity.  It is incredibly rude to ask for money.  Just don't register, and if people ask, let them know you're saving up for X.  People aren't stupid, and you aren't entitled to gifts.  


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  • @levioosa, no it's a production! Why can't we comic sans on the mobile?
  • I've never heard of that.  I agonized over registering.  I'm not having a shower and we've lived together for over two years so we're pretty good on the household items.  Eventually, we sat down and went through the whole apartment and decided to registry for small things we don't currently have (paper towel holder, napkin holder, place mats etc.) and then a couple larger items that we really need to replace (our microwave that's an ancient relic from the 90s).  Other than that we're asking for donations to our buy a house fund or gift cards in any amount to a list of places we frequent.  But yeah, I don't think I'd do a separate one of stuff just for me.  Although I did suggest that we put a new laptop on there since the one we use for Netflix keeps crapping out on us!

    Oh lord you are just full of bad ideas aren't you?  People collect "donations" for charities, not to buy other people houses.  That's not a donation, that's asking for money, which is rude.

    Look Binky, let me level with you.  There are some etiquette breaches that I personally do not have a problem with.  Though I didn't have one myself, I can see myself donating to someone's honeymoon fund, for example, because I like the idea of helping someone go on a nice vacation and I don't really care about losing the 7% or whatever amount the HoneyFund company deducts for themselves if doing it through them helps the couple keep the money organized.  But when people come on here asking if they should do a honeymoon fund, I tell them they shouldn't because doing them is bad etiquette.  This is an etiquette forum, so I'm not going to advise someone to do something against etiquette just because personally I think it's understandable.  If this was a different type of forum I might say something different, but this forum is specifically 100% dedicated to giving etiquette advice, so there is no point coming here and railing against it.

    You seem to be doing a lot of things that are considered bad etiquette, so though you might think what you're doing is alright, this is not the place where those ideas are going to go over well, and no one is going to thank you for misleading other brides who have presumably come to the etiquette board because they genuinely want to know if they are acting in accordance with good etiquette.
    I just feel like this needs to be said again.  So, quoting.
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