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These are grown adults throwing these weddings, yes?

flutteringinflflutteringinfl member
1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
edited May 2015 in Chit Chat
So why do they tend to lack so much basic common sense? I have a FB friend getting married soon, and she just made a FB post that if you're invited to her wedding, and you haven't RSVP'd, DO IT NOW. Yes, you still have a MONTH left until they are due, but it's very rude of you to not have RSVP'd already since "there are many other behind-the-scenes things that depend on your responses."

Also, I'm not invited to this wedding. I'm sure plenty of her FB friends aren't. So, you know, thanks for advertising that. I mean, I don't care, don't know her that well, but you never know. One of FI's friends posted a picture of our STD and I was actually kind of appalled. I would never think to do that.

I just can't comprehend why people keep doing this. So many problems. Let alone the fact that it can be seen by people not invited to the wedding, but why the hell are you scolding your guests publicly for not RSVP'ing, and there is still a month left! Because you couldn't plan ahead? I don't get it.

I wasn't going to drink today, but I might need a margarita after all.

ETA: She just followed it up with a comment that she'll start tagging people if they don't RSVP. I wish I could tell her how horribly rude that is. Lurkers, just because no one tells you your idea is rude doesn't mean it's polite. It might just mean that your friends have more class than you.
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Re: These are grown adults throwing these weddings, yes?

  • jacques27jacques27 member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    So in other words she's planning to b-list, eh?

    Ugh.
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  • wandajune6wandajune6 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    Yes, they're adults. However, they're adults who are too self-absorbed to think about how their actions impact others.

    There are a lot of brides and grooms out there who think of a wedding as a day all about them with friends and family there to fill their vision. Others think about a wedding as the start of a marriage with the request that friends and family be there to be a part of the celebration.

    People like what you describe are planning events that have nothing to do with anyone else. For them, their friends and family are essentially vendors who are not following their orders.
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  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I will  never understand why people think FB is an appropriate form of communication, let alone thinking it's people PRIMARY form of communication.

    Sure I might pop on once or twice a day.    DH pops in a few times a month. I have other friends who haven't been on FB since they opened up their account 4 years ago.

    Don't get me started on posting your wedding shit in general.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    she needs to know a month ahead so she can B list! although hopefully anyone on her fb list who receives an invitation a month from now will realize that and decline
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  • wandajune6wandajune6 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    lyndausvi said:

    I will  never understand why people think FB is an appropriate form of communication, let alone thinking it's people PRIMARY form of communication.


    Sure I might pop on once or twice a day.    DH pops in a few times a month. I have other friends who haven't been on FB since they opened up their account 4 years ago.

    Don't get me started on posting your wedding shit in general.
    We took a lot of flack for that, actually. We changed our status when we got engaged but did nothing else. We made it a point never to mention our wedding on the site. This was important to us as we didn't invite everyone in our social networks and wanted to be thoughtful. We also asked people close to us not to post about the wedding online.

    DH's family was very unhappy about it. They wanted to share all of the pictures of the bridal shower, bachelorette, etc. Both SILs were very fussy about it. Why? Because they thought they looked great in all of the pictures and wanted to share that. Plus, they post everything on Facebook (most of which is incredibly overly dramatic).

    We decided not to see each other prior to the ceremony on our wedding day. My sister had to take away my phone while I was in the bridal suite because Facebook was filled with pictures of everyone/everything. I didn't expect people not to post but I thought there would be a delay!
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  • mklammklam member
    Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper 5 Love Its
    I had a friend invite me (B-listed) through facebook before. Of course she had posted that people needed to turn in their RSVPs weeks before I received the facebook e-vite. I just don't understand why they thought facebook would be a good way to do that...
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  • flyingfoxesflyingfoxes member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited May 2015
    wandajune6 said:

    lyndausvi said:

    I will  never understand why people think FB is an appropriate form of communication, let alone thinking it's people PRIMARY form of communication.


    Sure I might pop on once or twice a day.    DH pops in a few times a month. I have other friends who haven't been on FB since they opened up their account 4 years ago.

    Don't get me started on posting your wedding shit in general.
    We took a lot of flack for that, actually. We changed our status when we got engaged but did nothing else. We made it a point never to mention our wedding on the site. This was important to us as we didn't invite everyone in our social networks and wanted to be thoughtful. We also asked people close to us not to post about the wedding online.

    DH's family was very unhappy about it. They wanted to share all of the pictures of the bridal shower, bachelorette, etc. Both SILs were very fussy about it. Why? Because they thought they looked great in all of the pictures and wanted to share that. Plus, they post everything on Facebook (most of which is incredibly overly dramatic).

    We decided not to see each other prior to the ceremony on our wedding day. My sister had to take away my phone while I was in the bridal suite because Facebook was filled with pictures of everyone/everything. I didn't expect people not to post but I thought there would be a delay!
    I warned DH to not be on FB the day off just in case somebody posted a picture of me.  He was annoyed, but then it turns out he was much too busy out and about socializing at the winery while I was squirreled away in the bridal suite to look online.  Sucks that you have to do that though - I politely asked everyone in the bridal suite and any visitors to not post anything until after the ceremony started and he'd seen me, which they all honored. 
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  • TrixieJessTrixieJess member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I had a girlfriend tell me that she needed my RSVP right away. I told her that I would get it to her before the RSVP date, I had to arrange for childcare and my first babysitter had fallen through. We were still 2 weeks from the date. I later found out that several people had been b-listed at the wedding. It was slightly distasteful. This was just one of a couple of etiquette missteps.
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