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Mimosa's Only Acceptable at Brunch Reception?

clarkinseyweddingclarkinseywedding member
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in Budget Weddings Forum

My fiancé and I are planning a Saturday morning wedding and brunch reception for May 2016.  I tend to be very practical and spending over $10k on one day, no matter how important the day is, is not me, plus we just don't have a lot of money anyway. 

We're having a huge mostly breakfast (with a few lunch options) buffet following our 10:30 ceremony at the same location.  The brunch will be from 11 to 3.  We're just looking to have a nice, somewhat elegant meal, no dancing at the brunch.  I doubt it would actually last until 3.   

Later on, around 8:00 that night we're having an appetizer and dessert dance party at our local fire hall for our close family and friends that we really want to party with.  This is the first plan we've come up with that I'm actually really excited about. 

My issue is my dad seems to really have an issue with the fact that we do not plan on serving alcohol, other than Mimosas, at the brunch.  I don't think having an open bar with breakfast food is necessary.  I'm not a big drinker and neither is my fiancé.  We will have beer and wine at the dance party later that night.  Do most people expect there to be a full open bar at a brunch wedding? Are mimosas not acceptable?

I can't wait to marry my best friend!


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Re: Mimosa's Only Acceptable at Brunch Reception?

  • clarkinseyweddingclarkinseywedding member
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    edited April 2015

    Thanks.  We're not even looking at the party that night as a reception.  We're looking at it as more just a party so we can dance with our friends and our close family from out of town.  My fiancé was married before and had the big ballroom wedding and I just want to do something different than he and his late first wife did  so that's a contributing factor to the way we're doing things too.   

    I can't wait to marry my best friend!


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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    wandajune6 said:

    I don't think you need a full bar. I think mimosas and possible bloody mary's would be a nice touch. Beyond that, lots of juice, coffee, and water should do the trick. I see nothing wrong with that.

    I'll defer to the other knotties on the lecture about the tiered reception and long gap between activities.



    This - OTOH - I would much rather have the OPTION of purchasing something than not have it available at all...  For my cousin's brunch wedding, all they had was water, coffee, or mimosas...  Thing is, none of us drink, and we didn't even get the option of purchasing a soda/juice/milk/etc., and with kids, sorry, I'm not giving them coffee!!!   For those who do drink, they commented that it'd been nice if they'd have had the OPTION to purchase a glass of wine/champagne..  So if your Dad is willing to pay for any price difference, I'd say he wins this round... 

    And to reiterate - Either all guests are invited to the evening party or none...

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  • aliwis000aliwis000 member
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    So 2 things.

    1. I agree with PP that everyone should be invited to everything. I will applaud you that at least you are having a properly hosted event right after the ceremony so people are free to come or not come to the dance portion and still be hosted. However, no matter what you call it, it is still wedding related and on the same day so you need to invite everyone.

    2. I think mimosas alone at the lunch is fine for booze. I would say to have plenty of water, juice, iced tea and soda on hand as well. If people tend to stick to the lunch items they might prefer a soda or tea.

    Good luck!
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  • clarkinseyweddingclarkinseywedding member
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    edited April 2015

    Thank you!

    We're keeping the invite for the party open to everyone we invite to the morning, it's just more likely that only our close friends and family will want to come to both. 

    There will be a variety of juices, iced teas, sodas, lemonade and a coffee bar available for those who want something else to drink. Mimosas will just be the only alcohol available.

    I can't wait to marry my best friend!


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  • JCbride2015JCbride2015 member
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    wandajune6 said:

    I don't think you need a full bar. I think mimosas and possible bloody mary's would be a nice touch. Beyond that, lots of juice, coffee, and water should do the trick. I see nothing wrong with that.

    I'll defer to the other knotties on the lecture about the tiered reception and long gap between activities.



    This - OTOH - I would much rather have the OPTION of purchasing something than not have it available at all...  For my cousin's brunch wedding, all they had was water, coffee, or mimosas...  Thing is, none of us drink, and we didn't even get the option of purchasing a soda/juice/milk/etc., and with kids, sorry, I'm not giving them coffee!!!   For those who do drink, they commented that it'd been nice if they'd have had the OPTION to purchase a glass of wine/champagne..  So if your Dad is willing to pay for any price difference, I'd say he wins this round... 

    And to reiterate - Either all guests are invited to the evening party or none...

    This is terrible advice. Having additional beverages available to purchase is a partial cash bar and is horribly rude.  Don't do this.


    clarkinseywedding said:

    Thank you!

    We're keeping the invite for the party open to everyone we invite to the morning, it's just more likely that only our close friends and family will want to come to both. 

    There will be a variety of juices, iced teas, sodas, lemonade and a coffee bar available for those who want something else to drink. Mimosas will just be the only alcohol available.

    I think this is fine.  It might not cost you anything extra to add bloody marys if you're paying per drink anyway, but just non-alcoholic drinks and mimosas are perfectly okay.
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    "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

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  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
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    JCbride2015 said:

    wandajune6 said:

    I don't think you need a full bar. I think mimosas and possible bloody mary's would be a nice touch. Beyond that, lots of juice, coffee, and water should do the trick. I see nothing wrong with that.

    I'll defer to the other knotties on the lecture about the tiered reception and long gap between activities.



    This - OTOH - I would much rather have the OPTION of purchasing something than not have it available at all...  For my cousin's brunch wedding, all they had was water, coffee, or mimosas...  Thing is, none of us drink, and we didn't even get the option of purchasing a soda/juice/milk/etc., and with kids, sorry, I'm not giving them coffee!!!   For those who do drink, they commented that it'd been nice if they'd have had the OPTION to purchase a glass of wine/champagne..  So if your Dad is willing to pay for any price difference, I'd say he wins this round... 

    And to reiterate - Either all guests are invited to the evening party or none...

    This is terrible advice. Having additional beverages available to purchase is a partial cash bar and is horribly rude.  Don't do this.



    Cash bars in this part of the country where we have the statistical highest per capita consumption of alcohol isn't out of the ordinary nor considered rude..  All in where you're from!!!
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  • clarkinseyweddingclarkinseywedding member
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    A cash bar in south jersey is probably considered rude.  But even though we won't be offering it, everything is taking place at a country club which has a bar downstairs and the banquet room upstairs.  If someone really wanted a drink they do have the option of going down to the bar and getting one.

    I can't wait to marry my best friend!


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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    MesmrEwe said:

    JCbride2015 said:

    wandajune6 said:

    I don't think you need a full bar. I think mimosas and possible bloody mary's would be a nice touch. Beyond that, lots of juice, coffee, and water should do the trick. I see nothing wrong with that.

    I'll defer to the other knotties on the lecture about the tiered reception and long gap between activities.



    This - OTOH - I would much rather have the OPTION of purchasing something than not have it available at all...  For my cousin's brunch wedding, all they had was water, coffee, or mimosas...  Thing is, none of us drink, and we didn't even get the option of purchasing a soda/juice/milk/etc., and with kids, sorry, I'm not giving them coffee!!!   For those who do drink, they commented that it'd been nice if they'd have had the OPTION to purchase a glass of wine/champagne..  So if your Dad is willing to pay for any price difference, I'd say he wins this round... 

    And to reiterate - Either all guests are invited to the evening party or none...

    This is terrible advice. Having additional beverages available to purchase is a partial cash bar and is horribly rude.  Don't do this.

    Cash bars in this part of the country where we have the statistical highest per capita consumption of alcohol isn't out of the ordinary nor considered rude..  All in where you're from!!!


    Just because they aren't out of the ordinary doesn't mean that they still aren't rude.

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  • HeffalumpHeffalump member
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    OP, we had a brunch reception too, and I don't think there is anything wrong with mimosas only as your only alcoholic beverage.  If it's in your budget (and NBD if it's not), you might consider having vodka on hand as well, for making Bloody Marys and screwdrivers.  Those were pretty popular at our reception, but again, if you don't want to go that route, your plan is perfectly fine.

    (Cash bar, not so much.)
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Mimosas and a glass of wine for a toast was the only alcohol we had at our lunch reception.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    What you have planned sounds fine. If your dad wants additional alcoholic selections, you can offer to let him pay for it.

    Cash bars aren't OK no matter where you're from. Common does not = good etiquette.
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  • Knottie72792636Knottie72792636 member
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    I believe mimosas for brunch are more than acceptable, however, having a second option like beer during brunch doesn't sound like a bad idea.
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  • lachattefatalelachattefatale member
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    Just mimosas is perfectly acceptable. It's your responsibility to offer refreshment; you are not required to help your friends and family get sauced.
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  • JennyColadaJennyColada member
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    As someone who LOVES to drink bubbles, I think having mimosas only is fine, and even enjoyable. I also do love me a bloody mary at brunch as well.
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  • TheArtemisMoonTheArtemisMoon member
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    edited May 2015
    People can really stand to drink that early in the day?! If you want to really cut costs, cut out the alcohol; that stuff is expensive (lol). They will live. You might even consider virgin mimosas and serve it punch style.
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  • thespeshulestsnowflakethespeshulestsnowflake member
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    TheArtemisMoon said:

    People can really stand to drink that early in the day?! If you want to really cut costs, cut out the alcohol; that stuff is expensive (lol). They will live. You might even consider virgin mimosas and serve it punch style.

    A virgin mimosa is essentially orange juice.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
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    People can really stand to drink that early in the day?! If you want to really cut costs, cut out the alcohol; that stuff is expensive (lol). They will live. You might even consider virgin mimosas and serve it punch style.
    You've suggested in several threads that people serve no alcohol at all. While a dry wedding is a fine suggestion, it appears you may have something against serving alcohol?

    People can enjoy alcohol without getting sloshed. Just like you can probably enjoy food without stuffing your face until you puke. And they can enjoy it at any time of day. I like a mimosa or two at brunch. Believe it or not, I can still have a productive day and drive myself home.

    Also, a virgin mimosa = orange juice.
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  • thespeshulestsnowflakethespeshulestsnowflake member
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  • TheArtemisMoonTheArtemisMoon member
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    Nope nothing at all. But people seem to be so freaking concerned about either the cost, offending someone, or their guests behaving badly when alcohol is involved that it seems like a no-brainer to just avoid the problem altogether. Obviously not everyone can see a clear solution and some people think that having alcohol is a requirement and it's certainly not. 
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  • julesndeanjulesndean member
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    That's ridiculous to have an open bar at a brunch wedding. Mimosa's are plenty. Adding bloody mary's would be fine too. It's too warm outside for hot whiskey punch. Your dad is being silly, why would you serve a PBR with french toast?
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  • onefootinthebayouonefootinthebayou member
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    TheArtemisMoon said:

    Nope nothing at all. But people seem to be so freaking concerned about either the cost, offending someone, or their guests behaving badly when alcohol is involved that it seems like a no-brainer to just avoid the problem altogether. Obviously not everyone can see a clear solution and some people think that having alcohol is a requirement and it's certainly not. 

    You're missing the point of these boards.  They are etiquette boards, and serve to advise people how to host properly, without inadvertently offending their guests or in some cases damaging relationships with their poor choices regarding etiquette.  

    One insanely out of control thread populated by a person who appears to have serious issues with alcohol does not mean ALL (or any) of us believe that guests behave badly when alcohol is involved.  Is it a possibility?  Sure.  However, it's not our job as hosts to police it or dictate the way our guests behave.    

    Suggesting that not serving alcohol is a "no-brainer" makes absolutely no sense.  Mimosas at brunch are perfectly acceptable and although you apparently judge people for having a mimosa at 11:00am, most people do not and consider it totally acceptable social behavior.  

    Also, nowhere will you find an etiquette expert or regular poster on these boards state the bolded.  If you read the threads, you will see that dry weddings are indeed perfectly acceptable.  IF you choose to serve alcohol, which is also acceptable, it must be properly hosted.  That means your guests should not have to pay for it, all choices should be made available to all guests (no special premium bar for wedding party), and if something is not included in one's bar package, it should NOT be available for purchase.  

    And yes, people here are concerned about offending guests.  That is why these boards exist - to help people not do that. 
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