Is shopping for BM dresses always insanely stressful?

rcher912 · March 2015

My 3 BMs don't know each other. We went out BM dress shopping last weekend, and I said two things:

"Short & red"

"You don't have to buy here, just find what kind of thing you like, get a feel for the shade of red I'm talking about, and go with your heart/budget"

But it turned into a half fun "yay pretty dresses!" half really obnoxious outing. Every BM appointment I've ever been to turns into a headache - do my friends/family just suck?

some gems:

From the store lady: "Oh, you're doing short dresses? Hm. Well, then you should really have everyone in the same shoes. You know, for uniformity." (Which me and one of my BMs immediately shot down)

And from one of my BMs:

"Are you getting your makeup done or are you doing it yourself?" -I'm still debating, but I'll probably get it done.

"Oh good. You want to look good on your wedding day. You know, for the pictures."

....I'm still reeling at that one. I know she was nervous, and this girl has her foot in her mouth pretty constantly, but wow.

Am I being too SS or is this kind of thing just generally stressful? Or have I, completely coincidentally, had a string of bad experiences?

jacques27 · March 2015

1. Neither of those comments really seem like anything to get that upset over. The store clerk has a set idea about shoes. You don't HAVE to follow any store clerk's ideas about anything. Say "We'll give that some thought" and move on - easy peasy. And the make-up comment - just because people comment about looking nice on one occasion doesn't mean she's implying you look like crap all the rest of the time. Sometimes sentiments get phrased poorly. It's not like she said "Oh good, because you do a shit job on your make-up everyday and couldn't pick out colors that look good on you if your life depended on it." Unless you actually are a professional make-up artist, you'll probably do a good job that will look nice while there's a good chance they'll do an awesome job to highlight your features for photography. It sounds like you're looking for things to take offense to.

2. If all you care is short and red, why are you making everyone shop as a group? You clearly aren't enjoying it. These people don't know each other and probably aren't going to keep in touch after your wedding. And it's just shopping...for a not particularly special short, red dress that fits their body and their budget. Not everything has to be a special wedding bonding moment. Let them go dress shopping on their own.

redoryx · March 2015

Eh, I don't see either of those comments as particularly stress inducing. LOTS of people are going to offer opinions like that when you're planning a wedding, just nod and move on.

Maggie0829 · March 2015

Honestly, you are allowing yourself to get stressed out and upset over two dumb comments. As for the store lady, she is probably just trying to get you to buy shoes from the store. And your friend probably didn't mean her comment the way it came off. Just move on.

And if all you are requiring from your BMs is to buy a dress that is short and red, then why the need to go shopping with them at all? Just let them do it on their own time.

southernbelle0915 · March 2015

Those comments seem pretty benign. It sounds like you're stressing out over other stuff and letting it project onto dress shopping.

If it stresses you out that much, I would give each BM a swatch of the shade you're looking for and just let them figure it out. You've done the whole shopping together thing and it's obviously not working for you.

To answer your question, the most stressful part of shopping for me was finding a designer that had my three requirements (navy, silk/chiffon, knee length), in styles I liked, with multiple options, and wasn't crazy expensive. I ended up going to Ann Taylor, but it was all stress I put on myself because of the "requirements".

novella1186 · March 2015

If you're worried about them getting the right shade of red, go to the hardware store, pick out paint chips in the shade you have in mind, mail them the paint chips and say "try to find a dress that's close to this shade." That's what I did. WAAAAAAY easier.

And stop worrying about those stupid comments. They're not worth getting upset over. I can definitely understand that it was irritating at the time, especially if you were already feeling stressed out.

I had a bridal consultant ask what I was going to do with my hair and I said wear it down. She said "Oh no! Not with this dress!" Um... it's none of your fucking business what I do with my hair? It irritated me, but then I forgot about it. Now I have to deal with my mom's nagging comments about my hair lol. Oh well. Everyone has something to say I guess.

Bridal consultants tend to say 1. whatever will get them higher sales, like convincing all your girls to buy matching shoes from their store or 2. whatever they think is most popular currently in the wedding industry, which doesn't make it right. They don't know what's best all the time. So who cares.

Liatris2010 · March 2015

If dress shopping with your BMs is stressing you out, stop going BM dress shopping with them.

climbingsingle · March 2015

I don't really see what you're getting stressed about. The store worker suggested a crappy idea - this happens often. And your friend made a comment that most likely just came out wrong. I think you're overreacting.

MyNameIsNot · March 2015

Every time that I've been in a wedding where the bride insisted that we all shop together, it was a pain in the ass or stressful. Whether they know each other or not, shopping with a group is never all that fun. When you add in that everyone has different tastes, needs, budgets, etc, you're usually going to leave someone feeling uncomfortable.

There is 0 reason for everyone to shop together. You've given them your guidelines: short and red. Let them handle it on their own. You can give them some fabric swatches or paint chips if you have a particular red in mind.

And I agree with PPs. Just let those comments role off. Of course the sales lady wants you to buy matching shoes from her. She gets the commission. She'll probably also try to get everyone to order early and use her for alterations. Just ignore her like you'd ignore anyone else who wants to upsell you. Your friend probably didn't mean to hurt your feelings. She probably just meant that she thought pro make up would photograph better than normal make up.

pinkcow13 · March 2015

You are stressing yourself out over nothing. You already told them what you wanted, let them go on their own. And I don't see how your friends comment was insulting?

Grab a glass of vino and chill out. You're causing unneccessarry stress to yourself.

AddieCake · March 2015

I agree that none of that equals stressful in my book.

[Deleted User] · March 2015

Breath & relax. Your girls now know what length & color you are looking for. There is no reason to plan any further group shopping trips with the girls unless they want to go shopping together as a way to bond & want you to come along for your opinion. If they want that, may I suggest getting together for food & drink before you go to the stores. This may help you relax and enjoy the trip more. I know for my girls I told them the same thing, length & color. Because we were meeting after work I had us meet next door at a sports bar and orders apps for everyone to share & everyone had a few drinks which meant they were more relaxed and no "snickers" moments.

PrettyGirlLost · March 2015

rcher912 said:
My 3 BMs don't know each other. We went out BM dress shopping last weekend, and I said two things:

"Short & red"
"You don't have to buy here, just find what kind of thing you like, get a feel for the shade of red I'm talking about, and go with your heart/budget"

But it turned into a half fun "yay pretty dresses!" half really obnoxious outing. Every BM appointment I've ever been to turns into a headache - do my friends/family just suck? I've been in 10+ weddings and have never participated in a group BM dress shopping trip, because they really aren't necessary. . .Bride gives you the dress designer and style and you either call in your measurements and order the dress or you go in, get measured, order dress.

Now, I think I see why you guys all went together- to let the BM's get to meet each other? I did the same thing for my wedding- I let the BMs choose any dress of one of 5 colors. My SIL and some of the other BM's wanted to do a group outing initially- an excuse to then go out to lucnh and socialize, so they did and I came with them because they were all mind blown by being able to choose a dress and wanted to make sure they picked "the right one" lol!

some gems:
From the store lady: "Oh, you're doing short dresses? Hm. Well, then you should really have everyone in the same shoes. You know, for uniformity." (Which me and one of my BMs immediately shot down) Meh, just an opinion. It's not a bad idea to have something that unifies all of the looks so that there is some cohesion visually, but it doesn't need to be shoes.

And from one of my BMs:
"Are you getting your makeup done or are you doing it yourself?" -I'm still debating, but I'll probably get it done.
"Oh good. You want to look good on your wedding day. You know, for the pictures." I don't think she meant this as an insult. It sounds like it just came out a little tactlessly.

I can do my own make up really well, but for my wedding I wanted to have it done professionally because 1. I enjoy having it done and 2. I wanted to have event makeup done so that it was sure to hold up all day and not need to be constantly touched up. We spent an asston on photography, I wanted to look good in those pictures!

....I'm still reeling at that one. I know she was nervous, and this girl has her foot in her mouth pretty constantly, but wow.

Am I being too SS or is this kind of thing just generally stressful? Or have I, completely coincidentally, had a string of bad experiences? Going shopping for dresses shouldn't be stressful. And since you are letting them pick whatever dress within certain criteria you don't need to ever go with them again, nor do they need to go together, so my suggestion is to just let them handle getting their dresses from here on out.

Also, I think you are being too sensitive about things that were said. Neither comment was anything that should have warranted you to be annoyed or offended.

flantastic · March 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

rcher912 said:
My 3 BMs don't know each other. We went out BM dress shopping last weekend, and I said two things:

"Short & red"
"You don't have to buy here, just find what kind of thing you like, get a feel for the shade of red I'm talking about, and go with your heart/budget"

But it turned into a half fun "yay pretty dresses!" half really obnoxious outing. Every BM appointment I've ever been to turns into a headache - do my friends/family just suck? I've been in 10+ weddings and have never participated in a group BM dress shopping trip, because they really aren't necessary. . .Bride gives you the dress designer and style and you either call in your measurements and order the dress or you go in, get measured, order dress.

Now, I think I see why you guys all went together- to let the BM's get to meet each other? I did the same thing for my wedding- I let the BMs choose any dress of one of 5 colors. My SIL and some of the other BM's wanted to do a group outing initially- an excuse to then go out to lucnh and socialize, so they did and I came with them because they were all mind blown by being able to choose a dress and wanted to make sure they picked "the right one" lol!

some gems:
From the store lady: "Oh, you're doing short dresses? Hm. Well, then you should really have everyone in the same shoes. You know, for uniformity." (Which me and one of my BMs immediately shot down) Meh, just an opinion. It's not a bad idea to have something that unifies all of the looks so that there is some cohesion visually, but it doesn't need to be shoes.

And from one of my BMs:
"Are you getting your makeup done or are you doing it yourself?" -I'm still debating, but I'll probably get it done.
"Oh good. You want to look good on your wedding day. You know, for the pictures." I don't think she meant this as an insult. It sounds like it just came out a little tactlessly.

I can do my own make up really well, but for my wedding I wanted to have it done professionally because 1. I enjoy having it done and 2. I wanted to have event makeup done so that it was sure to hold up all day and not need to be constantly touched up. We spent an asston on photography, I wanted to look good in those pictures!

....I'm still reeling at that one. I know she was nervous, and this girl has her foot in her mouth pretty constantly, but wow.

Am I being too SS or is this kind of thing just generally stressful? Or have I, completely coincidentally, had a string of bad experiences? Going shopping for dresses shouldn't be stressful. And since you are letting them pick whatever dress within certain criteria you don't need to ever go with them again, nor do they need to go together, so my suggestion is to just let them handle getting their dresses from here on out.

Also, I think you are being too sensitive about things that were said. Neither comment was anything that should have warranted you to be annoyed or offended.

On the "cohesion" point - it's currently being demanded that I buy specific shoes for this very purpose, after the bride decided she wanted a very mismatched look in the dresses. If aesthetic cohesion apart from the dresses she chose is a concern of the bride's (or her mother's, in this case), okay, but she better damn well be paying for it.

The basic suggestion by the consultant doesn't really require snark, but what does is the implication that often follows that specific items outside the dress are fair game to ask the BMs to pay for.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2015

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

rcher912 said:
My 3 BMs don't know each other. We went out BM dress shopping last weekend, and I said two things:

"Short & red"
"You don't have to buy here, just find what kind of thing you like, get a feel for the shade of red I'm talking about, and go with your heart/budget"

But it turned into a half fun "yay pretty dresses!" half really obnoxious outing. Every BM appointment I've ever been to turns into a headache - do my friends/family just suck? I've been in 10+ weddings and have never participated in a group BM dress shopping trip, because they really aren't necessary. . .Bride gives you the dress designer and style and you either call in your measurements and order the dress or you go in, get measured, order dress.

Now, I think I see why you guys all went together- to let the BM's get to meet each other? I did the same thing for my wedding- I let the BMs choose any dress of one of 5 colors. My SIL and some of the other BM's wanted to do a group outing initially- an excuse to then go out to lucnh and socialize, so they did and I came with them because they were all mind blown by being able to choose a dress and wanted to make sure they picked "the right one" lol!

some gems:
From the store lady: "Oh, you're doing short dresses? Hm. Well, then you should really have everyone in the same shoes. You know, for uniformity." (Which me and one of my BMs immediately shot down) Meh, just an opinion. It's not a bad idea to have something that unifies all of the looks so that there is some cohesion visually, but it doesn't need to be shoes.

And from one of my BMs:
"Are you getting your makeup done or are you doing it yourself?" -I'm still debating, but I'll probably get it done.
"Oh good. You want to look good on your wedding day. You know, for the pictures." I don't think she meant this as an insult. It sounds like it just came out a little tactlessly.

I can do my own make up really well, but for my wedding I wanted to have it done professionally because 1. I enjoy having it done and 2. I wanted to have event makeup done so that it was sure to hold up all day and not need to be constantly touched up. We spent an asston on photography, I wanted to look good in those pictures!

....I'm still reeling at that one. I know she was nervous, and this girl has her foot in her mouth pretty constantly, but wow.

Am I being too SS or is this kind of thing just generally stressful? Or have I, completely coincidentally, had a string of bad experiences? Going shopping for dresses shouldn't be stressful. And since you are letting them pick whatever dress within certain criteria you don't need to ever go with them again, nor do they need to go together, so my suggestion is to just let them handle getting their dresses from here on out.

Also, I think you are being too sensitive about things that were said. Neither comment was anything that should have warranted you to be annoyed or offended.

On the "cohesion" point - it's currently being demanded that I buy specific shoes for this very purpose, after the bride decided she wanted a very mismatched look in the dresses. If aesthetic cohesion apart from the dresses she chose is a concern of the bride's (or her mother's, in this case), okay, but she better damn well be paying for it.
The basic suggestion by the consultant doesn't really require snark, but what does is the implication that often follows that specific items outside the dress are fair game to ask the BMs to pay for.

I had mismatched BMs- 10- and they had 5 different colors to choose from. They all wore different shoes too. I created cohesion in the look by asking them all to get a knee-ish length dress, and then I unified their looks by making sure their bouquets all matched.

There are ways to unify the BMs without trying to make them buy new shoes, wear matching jewelry, etc.

Are you going to buy the shoes?

flantastic · April 2015

PrettyGirlLost said:

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

rcher912 said:
My 3 BMs don't know each other. We went out BM dress shopping last weekend, and I said two things:

"Short & red"
"You don't have to buy here, just find what kind of thing you like, get a feel for the shade of red I'm talking about, and go with your heart/budget"

But it turned into a half fun "yay pretty dresses!" half really obnoxious outing. Every BM appointment I've ever been to turns into a headache - do my friends/family just suck? I've been in 10+ weddings and have never participated in a group BM dress shopping trip, because they really aren't necessary. . .Bride gives you the dress designer and style and you either call in your measurements and order the dress or you go in, get measured, order dress.

Now, I think I see why you guys all went together- to let the BM's get to meet each other? I did the same thing for my wedding- I let the BMs choose any dress of one of 5 colors. My SIL and some of the other BM's wanted to do a group outing initially- an excuse to then go out to lucnh and socialize, so they did and I came with them because they were all mind blown by being able to choose a dress and wanted to make sure they picked "the right one" lol!

some gems:
From the store lady: "Oh, you're doing short dresses? Hm. Well, then you should really have everyone in the same shoes. You know, for uniformity." (Which me and one of my BMs immediately shot down) Meh, just an opinion. It's not a bad idea to have something that unifies all of the looks so that there is some cohesion visually, but it doesn't need to be shoes.

And from one of my BMs:
"Are you getting your makeup done or are you doing it yourself?" -I'm still debating, but I'll probably get it done.
"Oh good. You want to look good on your wedding day. You know, for the pictures." I don't think she meant this as an insult. It sounds like it just came out a little tactlessly.

I can do my own make up really well, but for my wedding I wanted to have it done professionally because 1. I enjoy having it done and 2. I wanted to have event makeup done so that it was sure to hold up all day and not need to be constantly touched up. We spent an asston on photography, I wanted to look good in those pictures!

....I'm still reeling at that one. I know she was nervous, and this girl has her foot in her mouth pretty constantly, but wow.

Am I being too SS or is this kind of thing just generally stressful? Or have I, completely coincidentally, had a string of bad experiences? Going shopping for dresses shouldn't be stressful. And since you are letting them pick whatever dress within certain criteria you don't need to ever go with them again, nor do they need to go together, so my suggestion is to just let them handle getting their dresses from here on out.

Also, I think you are being too sensitive about things that were said. Neither comment was anything that should have warranted you to be annoyed or offended.

On the "cohesion" point - it's currently being demanded that I buy specific shoes for this very purpose, after the bride decided she wanted a very mismatched look in the dresses. If aesthetic cohesion apart from the dresses she chose is a concern of the bride's (or her mother's, in this case), okay, but she better damn well be paying for it.
The basic suggestion by the consultant doesn't really require snark, but what does is the implication that often follows that specific items outside the dress are fair game to ask the BMs to pay for.
I had mismatched BMs- 10- and they had 5 different colors to choose from. They all wore different shoes too. I created cohesion in the look by asking them all to get a knee-ish length dress, and then I unified their looks by making sure their bouquets all matched.

There are ways to unify the BMs without trying to make them buy new shoes, wear matching jewelry, etc.

Are you going to buy the shoes?

Yes, to some degree. It will depend how expensive they are whether I totally follow the instructions. $40 shoes? Okay, they're nude heels, I can probably get some use out of them, begrudgingly I will buy. $100 shoes? Nope. I'll tell you I'm not doing it, and if you persist, I'll get my own similar $35 version and you won't notice until it's too late and literally no one else will notice.

Problem here is that bride has the idea that all BMs should expect to spend some arbitrary number (like at least $200) on their attire, and since not all that imaginary general budget is going to the dress, she thinks she's free to spend the rest of it on shoes or whatever else. She thinks she's being laid back on the whole.

PrettyGirlLost · April 2015

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

flantastic said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

rcher912 said:
My 3 BMs don't know each other. We went out BM dress shopping last weekend, and I said two things:

"Short & red"
"You don't have to buy here, just find what kind of thing you like, get a feel for the shade of red I'm talking about, and go with your heart/budget"

But it turned into a half fun "yay pretty dresses!" half really obnoxious outing. Every BM appointment I've ever been to turns into a headache - do my friends/family just suck? I've been in 10+ weddings and have never participated in a group BM dress shopping trip, because they really aren't necessary. . .Bride gives you the dress designer and style and you either call in your measurements and order the dress or you go in, get measured, order dress.

Now, I think I see why you guys all went together- to let the BM's get to meet each other? I did the same thing for my wedding- I let the BMs choose any dress of one of 5 colors. My SIL and some of the other BM's wanted to do a group outing initially- an excuse to then go out to lucnh and socialize, so they did and I came with them because they were all mind blown by being able to choose a dress and wanted to make sure they picked "the right one" lol!

some gems:
From the store lady: "Oh, you're doing short dresses? Hm. Well, then you should really have everyone in the same shoes. You know, for uniformity." (Which me and one of my BMs immediately shot down) Meh, just an opinion. It's not a bad idea to have something that unifies all of the looks so that there is some cohesion visually, but it doesn't need to be shoes.

And from one of my BMs:
"Are you getting your makeup done or are you doing it yourself?" -I'm still debating, but I'll probably get it done.
"Oh good. You want to look good on your wedding day. You know, for the pictures." I don't think she meant this as an insult. It sounds like it just came out a little tactlessly.

I can do my own make up really well, but for my wedding I wanted to have it done professionally because 1. I enjoy having it done and 2. I wanted to have event makeup done so that it was sure to hold up all day and not need to be constantly touched up. We spent an asston on photography, I wanted to look good in those pictures!

....I'm still reeling at that one. I know she was nervous, and this girl has her foot in her mouth pretty constantly, but wow.

Am I being too SS or is this kind of thing just generally stressful? Or have I, completely coincidentally, had a string of bad experiences? Going shopping for dresses shouldn't be stressful. And since you are letting them pick whatever dress within certain criteria you don't need to ever go with them again, nor do they need to go together, so my suggestion is to just let them handle getting their dresses from here on out.

Also, I think you are being too sensitive about things that were said. Neither comment was anything that should have warranted you to be annoyed or offended.

On the "cohesion" point - it's currently being demanded that I buy specific shoes for this very purpose, after the bride decided she wanted a very mismatched look in the dresses. If aesthetic cohesion apart from the dresses she chose is a concern of the bride's (or her mother's, in this case), okay, but she better damn well be paying for it.
The basic suggestion by the consultant doesn't really require snark, but what does is the implication that often follows that specific items outside the dress are fair game to ask the BMs to pay for.
I had mismatched BMs- 10- and they had 5 different colors to choose from. They all wore different shoes too. I created cohesion in the look by asking them all to get a knee-ish length dress, and then I unified their looks by making sure their bouquets all matched.

There are ways to unify the BMs without trying to make them buy new shoes, wear matching jewelry, etc.

Are you going to buy the shoes?

Yes, to some degree. It will depend how expensive they are whether I totally follow the instructions. $40 shoes? Okay, they're nude heels, I can probably get some use out of them, begrudgingly I will buy. $100 shoes? Nope. I'll tell you I'm not doing it, and if you persist, I'll get my own similar $35 version and you won't notice until it's too late and literally no one else will notice.
Problem here is that bride has the idea that all BMs should expect to spend some arbitrary number (like at least $200) on their attire, and since not all that imaginary general budget is going to the dress, she thinks she's free to spend the rest of it on shoes or whatever else. She thinks she's being laid back on the whole.

Oh no!!!

Good luck.

augsum15 · April 2015

rcher912 said:
My 3 BMs don't know each other. We went out BM dress shopping last weekend, and I said two things:

"Short & red"
"You don't have to buy here, just find what kind of thing you like, get a feel for the shade of red I'm talking about, and go with your heart/budget"

But it turned into a half fun "yay pretty dresses!" half really obnoxious outing. Every BM appointment I've ever been to turns into a headache - do my friends/family just suck?

some gems:
From the store lady: "Oh, you're doing short dresses? Hm. Well, then you should really have everyone in the same shoes. You know, for uniformity." (Which me and one of my BMs immediately shot down)

And from one of my BMs:
"Are you getting your makeup done or are you doing it yourself?" -I'm still debating, but I'll probably get it done.
"Oh good. You want to look good on your wedding day. You know, for the pictures."

....I'm still reeling at that one. I know she was nervous, and this girl has her foot in her mouth pretty constantly, but wow.

Am I being too SS or is this kind of thing just generally stressful? Or have I, completely coincidentally, had a string of bad experiences?

None of this is anything to get stressed out over, I don't really understand what is stressing you out actually. Your BM's question about make up is fair, she's just curious; she's interested in your wedding planning, this is a good thing.

People at stores just wanna sell you stuff, just ignore them.

And like you said yourself, you told them to buy a short red dress, so there should be no obnoxious outings- they can go out by them-self and pick one. If you need them to stick to a certain shade of red, go to a paint store, pick up 3 paint chips and give one to each and say "get as close to this as you can" and be done with it!

TrixieJess · April 2015

I've been a bridesmaid 4 times and never been as "stressed out" as you described getting a dress for a wedding. If you are like this now, what are you going to be like closer to your wedding date? Chill out, grab some wine, and let your bridesmaids handle it.

For my wedding, I'm not even requiring them to shop, I know they both own dresses in the colour I want. I just require them to show up, relatively sober (totally sober isn't going to happen with anyone at my wedding) and sign stuff when it needs to be signed preferably without a smiley face.

Chill out!

blushingbride8888 · April 2015

I found bridesmaid dress shopping to be really stressful, mostly because I didn't want to make anyone buy anything they hated and I felt awkward making a decision. When it came down to it, I picked 5-6 styles at DB in plum, long (both of which they wanted) and fabric and let them pick what they wanted. I wanted it to look uniform but didn't want everyone in the same dress. They all picked something they were happy with.

I also brought one of my bridesmaids - she LOVES to shop and loved the whole experience - a second time just the two of us and she tried on a bunch of stuff and gave me honest opinions. I found the group outing to be way too complicated, too many opinions and people everywhere. Consultants aren't always helpful - sometimes they make it worse. One place I went to the consultant was more into accessorizing with belts and suggesting the girls have trains on their dresses. We hadn't even picked the dress yet!

Def have a glass of wine, relax and breathe. It will be OK. Promise.

bride2b71614 · May 2015

I don't understand why it would be stressful for you? You gave them parameters and then went shopping with them why?

Anyway i would find several things that are stressful as a bridesmaid is if you are not a person who is able to speak up for themselves. For example if the bride wants uniform and the bridal party chose a dress that one person hates, it complicates things. Does that person speak up and become the "difficult bridesmaid" who held the shopping trip up? I tend to feel like if everyone is saying yes at that moment you can get caught up. Or if the bride goes over your budget and doesn't discuss it with you privately.

I'd consider these things stressful and upsetting. The consultants comments? Not so much.

Is shopping for BM dresses always insanely stressful?

Re: Is shopping for BM dresses always insanely stressful?

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