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Vow Renewals

Vow renewal in renovated chapel?

My husband and I married 2 years ago at the chapel on our university campus where we met. We were very fortunate that the renovation of the 100+ year old chapel was delayed for a year, because it was originally slated to occur when we wanted to get married. The university is very important to us and a major part of our lives together, so we couldn't see ourselves getting married anywhere else.

The chapel renovation is finished now, and I have always thought that it would be nice to renew our vows in the new chapel. The renovation includes a lot of symbolic elements from the university. I think it would be really awesome to take my husband for a picnic on the campus one day and surprise him by having a vow renewal in the new chapel.

I know most people frown upon vow renewals happening before 10 years or so but I don't want to invite anyone at all. I want it to be completely private and to have a sweet way of commemorating our marriage in the chapel and bring it full circle to the new one to celebrate our commitment to each other and to the place. Should I pursue this or is it not a good idea? Would people be offended for not being invited or would they think we were silly for doing it in the first place? I personally don't see why there is anything wrong with doing a private vow renewal at any time in your marriage but I wanted to get some outside perspectives.
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Re: Vow renewal in renovated chapel?

  • I also don't see anything wrong with a private vow renewal at any time. Your reasons are just between you and so is your ceremony. (It's the "wedding redo" that many frown upon and this isn't what you are doing.) It's a matter of opinion as to when they should occur. Sure, some people think of milestone anniversaries but then there are couples who renew their vows every single year! I have a friend who did it at five years and plans to continue renewing every five years (private ceremonies each time). No one else can really judge what you decide feels right in terms of reaffirming your commitment to your marriage.

    I am curious: Have you guys ever talked about a vow renewal or would it be a total surprise?

  • We have talked about it before in passing and both agreed that we wouldn't want it to be a huge ceremony with other people. Also my husband is super romantic and loves romantic surprises so I think he would like it :)
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  • edited October 2014
    Well, there ya go! Sounds romantic and perfectly reasonable for the type of couple that you are. :)
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its

    When you don't involve anyone else, all bets are off with etiquette! There is no one to offend or properly host and your motives are clearly not to show off or be gift grabby!

    You'll often see on this site that once you invite people to your wedding/vow renewal, the event is no longer about you, as you then have to do what is best for your guests. I eloped and didn't announce my marriage until after the fact, so DH and I got to have our special day without needing to accommodate anyone or anything. If and when we decide to renew our vows, it will absolutely be private and we'd do it when it feels right for us.


  • kolache3kolache3 member
    Fourth Anniversary 10 Comments First Answer
    edited October 2014
    Thanks for the support :)

    I've decided to do it on May 1, which will be our 6th anniversary of being together (4 months before our 3rd wedding anniversary). Our first date on that day began at the university so it will be a really awesome way to tie everything together, and I'll be on the brink of graduating with my Master's (at a much larger public university) which he has done a great job of supporting me through. He also won't be expecting anything huge on a dating anniversary ;)
    Anniversary Birthday
  • That sounds very sweet! Let us know how it goes.

    Also, congrats on your Masters!

    SN: May 1 is my first son's bday... I love that date. ;)

  • mrsdweavermrsdweaver member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited November 2014
    I think this is a great idea and totally romantic! My husband and I are renewing before 10 years for reasons that we both agree on; the main reason is that while time is a great thing, what is overcome in that time is even greater to us. So celebrate however often you'd like (especially if it's private--when others are involved, you can look forward to some complaints lol)! Best wishes to you both. :)
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I love your idea.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
  • Our vow renewal was yesterday and it was incredible!! My DH was SO surprised and the priest did an amazing job! Here are some pics and some pics of our wedding so you can see the changes that have been made to the chapel since then.

    Anniversary Birthday
  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Congrats on your renewal! The chapel looks great and glad it went so well. 


  • How lovely! Congrats. I still think this is just too sweet!  :)
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