I am about DONE with my dad's family and wedding drama

Re: I am about DONE with my dad's family and wedding drama

• bethsmiles member

  

  May 2015 edited May 2015

  You are not a horrible person. You are under no obligation to invite everyone. All you need to do now is pour yourself a glass of wine.

  
  

  
  

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• loveislouder member

  

  May 2015

  If I remember right, you're paying, correct? Your list, your choice. At this point I'd just be telling your family to fuck off and if they show up, great. If they don't, even better.
  

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• KatieinBkln member

  

  May 2015

  I think it's time to stop picking up your phone and start picking up margaritas.

  
  

  You get to invite who you want. Exes, daughters, randos, have no reason to expect an invitation. SOs do, and you did right by your uncle by re-inviting his re-united wife. You owe nothing else.

  
  

  This baby knows exactly how I feel

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• JaniV123 member

  

  May 2015

  That is what I am thinking. I am also having a weird feeling that my dad is behind this.... 

   

  I was thinking the same thing @loveisouder if they want to keep hassling me during my final... they can just not go if they feel I "offended" them  

  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  May 2015 edited May 2015

  loveislouder said:If I remember right, you're paying, correct? Your list, your choice. At this point I'd just be telling your family to fuck off and if they show up, great. If they don't, even better.
  _________________________________BOXBOXWHERE'STHEBOX
  
  
  This.  This only has to be drama if you allow it.  Is it annoying...yes, but do what you want to do (assuming your dad isn't helping to pay), and move on. Add your aunt, and forget about the ex/step-cousin.

  
  

  Your wedding is not their family reunion.  

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  May 2015

  Where is the closest tequila? Go have one. 

  
  

  Your main issues have been with the guest list. And it sounds like you have entertained conversations about it until now. Repeat after me: "the guest list is closed and we cannot make any changes at this point." Hang up. Goodbye. Click. See ya. 

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• JaniV123 member

  

  May 2015

  it feels like they are insulting me in order to manipulate me. I have stopped taking my dad's calls which is why I think the behind the scenes of this is his doing. I told my cousin "it was my understanding they were divorced and I did not want to create an uncomfortable environment" 

  
  

  Her reply was: "well did you ask uncle how he felt about that?" 

  
  

  I am ignoring her message. I owe none of them explanations as to my and FI's wedding which we are paying for with my mom's family contributing. 

  
  

  Seriously how hard is it for people to understand and respect NO for an answer?!?! 

  
  

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• JaniV123 member

  

  May 2015

  @sauthernbelle0915 @KatieBkln @bethsmiles
  

  
  

  thanks virtual alcohol will do as I am under antibiotics 

  
  

  as to repeating the mantra I have told them and I have no problem standing my ground but I don't want to offend anyone or breach etiquette purposely (which is why when I found out the other uncle reunited with ex-wife I extended the courtesy of them going together)  

  
  

  Other than that its just really frustrating. calls I can ignore but the messages I will read and get angry and frustrated even if I dont answer.

  
  

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• kmmssg mod

  

  May 2015

  Go ahead and offend them.  They don't seem to take no for an answer and I'll bet  you are are dead on right about your dad being behind this.  This is a wedding, not a family reunion.  If they all want to get together they can plan something that isn't your wedding and not on your dime.

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• banana468 member

  

  May 2015

  They don't seem to care that they're offending you - why worry about offending them? 

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• JaniV123 member

  

  May 2015

  @banana468 because I am a good person and they seem to be so awful as people they want to take advantage of me. 

  
  

  Thanks to FI and all the ladies here I have been able to stand my ground and say NO and not care if people keep pushing even if it hurts me a little. I deserve respect just as any other person does and this is a day for me and Fi to enjoy, celebrate, and be worry free other than excitement over being married. 

  
  

  Again thank you all. I ended up sending my cousin a message saying guest list is closed, no more people can be accomodated, if they had told me beforehand I could've planned accordingly but since they didn't I didn't see it as polite to ask about the status of a relationship after a divorce. SHe said "i understand" and left it at that. I bet people are mad but whatever, if they don't want to come their loss. 

  
  

  My grandfather (my dad's father) RSVP'ed yes and I haven't seen him in 6+ years so that made me very happy and not care about the other drama.

  
  

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• banana468 member

  

  May 2015

  I completely understand.   It sucks when you're trying to be a pleaser.

  
  

  But there is a line that people cross where pleasing them turns you into a doormat - and that shit isn't OK.   

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  May 2015 edited June 2015

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