Friend has disappeared?

Re: Friend has disappeared?

• whovianstark member

  

  May 2015

  Knottie03777613 said:

  I'm not really sure where to put this, but I figured the etiquette board was as good as any.

  I was friends with this girl for years, since like 7th grade. When I got engaged, I wanted her to be a BM. I asked her, she said yes, things were good. This was VERY early in my planning process. Then, we did not see each other for a few months. Around the time that things were really getting started, I asked her if she still wanted to be a bridesmaid and she told me she didn't think she could because of finances and other reasons. I told her I totally understood.

  Flash forward to sending out invites/save the dates. I needed her address (I grew up with her so I just knew where her house was, not the physical address). I texted her and she texted me back with her address. She was sent save the dates and an invitation.

  Then, nothing. Never got her reply card back. I texted her to see if she was coming, no response. I called her. No answer. Left a message and never heard back. I then went to check Facebook to see if something else was going on, and she is gone from FB too. I am worried about my friend but don't really know what to do. We don't live in the same town anymore so I can't really just drop by. Was it something I did? Why has she disappeared? It's weird and I am worried about her and don't know what else I can do further.

  Do you have a mutual friend you can ask? I doubt it was something you did, but I would be worried if it were my friend also.

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• justsie member

  

  May 2015

  If its been a while and no one else you contact about her knows anything you could call the police and have them do a wellness check. I mean, hopefully you call around and it doesn't come to that. I'd really use it as a last ditch thing if I feared for my friends life after getting in contact with their family and hearing that they hadn't a clue either and couldn't get a returned call. 

  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2015

  Go pay her a personal visit.

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• flantastic member

  

  May 2015

  OP said she couldn't just "drop by" due to distance - but how far would it be to go see her? That's the only option I can think of.

  It might be interesting even if you text/voicemail "I'm planning to come see you on X day, let me know if that doesn't work" to see if that elicits a response (and gives her the courtesy of a heads up).

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• allispain member

  

  May 2015

  If you're childhood friends, can you contact her parents and ask them? That's what I would do if I were that concerned.

  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  May 2015

  Do you know anyone else in the area? You said you grew up there; do you have a friend or family member who could stop by and check on her or who also talks to her?

  
  

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• Knottie03777613 member

  

  May 2015

  @flantastic that is not a bad idea. I think I can find a day to go, but if it doesn't work out I may call her mom...

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• jacques27 member

  

  May 2015

  My plan of attack would be any mutual Facebook friends who are in the area or friends and family in the area and see if 1.They have heard from her and 2. Would be willing to check on her. I really like the idea of giving her a heads up and then visit if she's within driving distance.
  
  It's unlikely it is anything you've done if she's cut off contact from lots of people. I will say though, make sure the topic of your wedding or rsvps isn't a part of the conversation (not saying you would, you clearly care about her safety outside the context of your wedding). But if she was having financial difficulties, she could be embarrassed about that and that is part of the reason she's out of communication. Sometimes it's easier to ignore people, especially people you are social with and can't afford to do those social things anymore, than it is to admit to yourself and others about your money woes.

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• Knottie03777613 member

  

  May 2015

  Yes at first my contact with her was wedding related (ie Hey - didn't get your RSVP!) but at this point I am just worried about her. It's gone way past a wedding RSVP I sent her another text this morning that sort of said "Hey I'm worried because I haven't heard from you" and again still haven't heard. However, I will be closer to her area next weekend so I'll try that idea a little closer to time. I also found her mom on FB (I'm not usually a mom friender lol) so maybe I can check in with her, too.

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• levioosa member

  

  May 2015

  PPs have given some suggestions, but I just wanted to say that it's refreshing that you actually care that something might have happened to your friend, instead of coming here and going, "She isn't answering her phone to do ANY of her duties!"  So, thanks for being a decent person (not sarcastic). Checking in with her mom sounds like a good idea too.  I hope everything is okay with her.    

  
  

  
  

  

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• kaitlynmichelle member

  

  May 2015

  If someone I was close enough with to ask them to be in my wedding dropped all communication, I'd be getting in touch with her parents or mutual friends asap.

  

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• Knottie55460974 member

  

  May 2015 edited May 2015

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