Registering and Gifts

Tacky/pompous Registry?

Hey All!  

I'm worried about what people will think about our gift registry.  We really don't need anything and have lived together for 4+ years.  I don't like the idea of "upgrading" all of our things like my FSIL told us to do because our things are fairly new and in great condition.  The only thing I want to register for is fine china as a keepsake.   I ended up registering for 4 settings in 3 different patterns that I can mix and match plus some accessories.  I'm worried it looks tacky/pompous because there are only a few items less than $20, settings range in price at $50, $80, and $120, and accessories (platters, gravy boats etc) range from $30-over $200.  I assume that if people want to give us a gift (which is really not needed) if what is left on the registry is not what they are looking for in price or item than they will do something on there own.  We figured after the wedding my fiancé would purchase anything still listed on the registry w/ our 20% off day.

If you were a guest, what would you think?  Our wedding website hasn't been distributed yet so we still have time to change things but most likely I would delete/hide the registry all together rather than add a bunch of stuff we don't need.

Thanks in advance!
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Re: Tacky/pompous Registry?

  • Hey All!  


    I'm worried about what people will think about our gift registry.  We really don't need anything and have lived together for 4+ years.  I don't like the idea of "upgrading" all of our things like my FSIL told us to do because our things are fairly new and in great condition.  The only thing I want to register for is fine china as a keepsake.   I ended up registering for 4 settings in 3 different patterns that I can mix and match plus some accessories.  I'm worried it looks tacky/pompous because there are only a few items less than $20, settings range in price at $50, $80, and $120, and accessories (platters, gravy boats etc) range from $30-over $200.  I assume that if people want to give us a gift (which is really not needed) if what is left on the registry is not what they are looking for in price or item than they will do something on there own.  We figured after the wedding my fiancé would purchase anything still listed on the registry w/ our 20% off day.

    If you were a guest, what would you think?  Our wedding website hasn't been distributed yet so we still have time to change things but most likely I would delete/hide the registry all together rather than add a bunch of stuff we don't need.

    Thanks in advance!
    First of all, I would register for more than 4 place settings. That's a super low number. I'd go for at least 10 or 12. Especially if you plan to have a family. Plates break and patterns get discontinued.

    Secondly, it's fine to not have a registry at all. When people ask "where are you registered?" you can just say "we're not registered anywhere, we're just saving up for XYZ." Every person on this earth knows that cash is a very much appreciated gift. Whenever a couple isn't registered, I always give cash. What's not cool is a cash registry - steer clear of those. 

    If you decide to forgo the registry all together, just know that you also forgo a shower. Because, unlike the wedding, showers are for physical, boxed gifts.
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  • If I'm understanding correctly, four different settings in three different patterns that all go together for mixing/matching reasons, that's 12 full place settings.  That's enough.  If that's really all you need, I think that's fine for your registry.  If I was a guest and saw that, I'd understand and would either buy you a place setting or a gravy boat, or I'd just write you a check.

    But do you REALLY not need bedding or towels?  Those are things that wear out.  Even if you don't put them on your bed now, it might be nice to know you have new ones waiting when the washing machine eats a hole into a sheet or pulls a string out of the edge of a towel.
  • I think she means that she registered for 3 patterns, 4 places each. For a total of 12 place settings, I believe. 
  • If you are having a shower, I think you need to register for more inexpensive things. Dish towels, new set of utensils for the grill, "soft" kitchen items that wear out and will need replacing eventually.

    If you aren't having a shower, I think your registry is fine. If people don't want to pick from the registry they can choose something else or give cash.
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  • I too was worried we couldn't come up with enough  stuff to register for.  What I found was helpful at the places we registered at, they all pretty much had lists of "most registered for items" or something along those lines.  That helped me come up with more items.  We also did a lot of outdoorsy things... lawn games, camping stuff, etc. 

    And yeah, we registered for more towels, even though we don't need them RIGHT NOW, we probably will in a few years, and also registered for 2nd sets of sheets for all the beds, since each one only has one right now. 

    The issue with not having enough things on the registry is that some people will go buy whatever THEY think you need.  You could end up with a lot of really weird stuff that you have no use for whatsoever. Or cash.  But I know I always prefer to give a gift at a wedding versus cash... because a $50 gift can be lovely, but $50 in cash isn't that much. 

    Married 9.12.15
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  • adk19 said:

    If I'm understanding correctly, four different settings in three different patterns that all go together for mixing/matching reasons, that's 12 full place settings.  That's enough.  If that's really all you need, I think that's fine for your registry.  If I was a guest and saw that, I'd understand and would either buy you a place setting or a gravy boat, or I'd just write you a check.


    But do you REALLY not need bedding or towels?  Those are things that wear out.  Even if you don't put them on your bed now, it might be nice to know you have new ones waiting when the washing machine eats a hole into a sheet or pulls a string out of the edge of a towel.
    Yup, this :)  12 total when all pieces are purchased.  I'm super excited to use them for big gatherings!  
    Thank you ladies!  I will just leave the registry as is :)  With still renting we don't really have the space to store for the future but that would be awesome if we did!  
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  • More than half a century ago, Amy Vanderbilt advised her readers to register for china and silver.  Her reasoning was this:  It is your wedding.  People want to give you a gift that you will cherish for your lifetime.  Never again will they want to buy you silver candy dishes or china place settings.  You will be glad you registered for these items in future years,
    You will always be replacing sheets and towels.  No big deal. 
    I think Amy was very wise.  I think I'll make tea in my Wedgwood teapot  tonight.
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    chicky1988kittykyat
  • I did not see if you were having a shower or not. If you are having a shower I think you need to have a greater selection as the price point you have currently is a bit high with not a lot of selection for lower prices. Plus watching a bride open gifts can be boring enough, but everything being a place setting? Wow.

    If you are not having a shower I think you are good to go. If someone does not want to do one of the china options a check or other gift is easily obtained.
    [Deleted User]
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