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Lesbian Bridal Shower help

My mom and sister are throwing me a bridal shower, my fiancé doesn't want to have one because she is not into girly things like that and she's made that very clear. She did tell me to invite a lot of her family so I did. My sister put my name only on the invitations but people are calling saying that they will be coming to Sam and Melony's bridal shower. Is her family going to be uncomfortable that she wont be there? I am nervouse that this is going to be uncomfortable for me and her family.

Re: Lesbian Bridal Shower help

  • VulgarGirlVulgarGirl Desert Oasis member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Did your sister call it "Sam and Melony's Bridal Shower"? Because if she did, well then I'd expect both of you to be there. But if she juts called it Melony's Bridal Shower and people are just saying "Sam and Melody" then that's different and not a big deal.

    Would your FI at least come by to greet the guests, especially her family, at the start of the party? She wouldn't have to stay for the whole thing, but if she at least pops it at the beginning/end to thank them for coming I think that'd be nice.

    We did a joint co-ed shower, Id on't have a ton of first hand experience.
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    PrettyGirlLost
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Eighth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    melonybr said:

    My mom and sister are throwing me a bridal shower, my fiancé doesn't want to have one because she is not into girly things like that and she's made that very clear. She did tell me to invite a lot of her family so I did. My sister put my name only on the invitations but people are calling saying that they will be coming to Sam and Melony's bridal shower. Is her family going to be uncomfortable that she wont be there? I am nervouse that this is going to be uncomfortable for me and her family.



    Would your FI be comfortable showing up at the beginning to greet people and then come back towards the end?  Or would your FI be comfortable staying for the whole shower but just have you do the opening of gifts? 

    It sounds like your FI's family is counting on your FI's attendance based on gender alone.  Is there anyway to have a family member from FI's side spread by word of mouth that your FI won't be attending?  That could help avoid the questions of "Where's FI?" while at your shower.

  • larrygagalarrygaga Czechoslovakia member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    I'm in a straight relationship but I still think both members need to be there. The gifts are for the couple to start their life together. It's personally offensive to me that the women gets all the cookware and shit. My FI will be using it too so he can make an appearance and thank people.

    I think that applies no matter what sort of relationship you have. 
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    PrettyGirlLostspeakeasy14ashley8918
  • Maybe your FI can contact her family so they know she is uncomfortable attending so they are aware that she is not going to be there, but wanted to include her family in the shower?  Maybe her family already knows that she will not be there and its a non issue?  But if they are thinking she will be there,  your FI should let them know otherwise so they do not show up and are caught off guard of her not being there. 

    I agree though that if she could show up either at the beginning or at the end to say thank you her family would probably appreciate that.  My H came near the end for cake and to help load up the gifts so he was able to chat with guests and thank them as well.  
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  • melonybrmelonybr member
    First Comment
    edited May 2015
    My sister only put my name. My fiancé can not come we live out of state and she has to work and can not get off. We did tell her mom to spread the word to her family that she wont be attending, so if they decide not to come then that's fine. I just feel like it looks like I invited her family for the gifts and it's not that way at all.
  • In straight relationships, the groom's family is still commonly invited to the shower; I don't think this is all that different. Sure, if she could come for a little while to say thank you, that'd be great, but she can't, so you'll be gracious in person and then she can be gracious on half of the thank-you cards. It will especially help if her mom spreads the word about her absence, but a quick "Sorry, she had to work!" should put everyone at ease at the shower. I don't think you'll come off as gift-grabby at all.
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    OliveOilsMom
  • Thanks for all the help!
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