Involving my Stepparents in my Wedding - Advice Please!

I have kind of a unique situation in my family.


My parents divorced when I was in first grade and both got
remarried when I was in 6th and 7th grade (2000-2001). I
want to involve my stepparents in the wedding because they’ve been around for a
lot of my life but I don’t want to step on my parents toes at all. I’m an only
child so this is a one-time thing for them.


My stepmom miscarried in her first marriage; her child would
have been around my age. She sees me as her own child and has been through a
lot with our family.


My stepdad has a daughter who is 6 years younger than me.
They were very close growing up but she stopped speaking to him about 4 years
ago. She was engaged twice, neither boy asked his permission to marry her and this
past fall she got married and didn’t invite him to the wedding at all, she had
her stepfather “fill in”. My stepdad is the most kind hearted person I know and
this was absolutely crushing for him. He introduces me as his daughter to
everyone and thinks of me as his child.


I don’t view either of my stepparents as my “parent” because
I have a good relationship with my biological parents but the steps have been
there for me through a lot. They are important to me and because of their
family situations I want them to be a special part of my day.


I will be having my father walk me down the aisle and having
a father daughter dance. Because I am the only child, this is a big deal for me
and my dad.


I’m wondering what sort of ways to make my stepdad and
stepmom feel important and involved without stepping on my mom and dad’s toes.
I’ve thought about having them do readings at the ceremony or the blessing of
the food at the reception. Of course they would be welcome to do a toast as


I thought about having a surprise dance with my stepdad in
the middle of the evening but I have no idea what kind of song to use.


Any input would be helpful. Thanks in advance.

Re: Involving my Stepparents in my Wedding - Advice Please!

  • My suggestions would be to have both dads share in walking you down the aisle: have step dad start you down the aisle, then halfway down he hands you off to your dad (giving step dad a thank you kiss), who then walks you to the alter and gives you away.

    Give step-dad his own 'father-daughter' dance.

    Are you planning a unity ceremony?  I've seen several where the bride & groom planted a tree - each member of the family placed a scoop of dirt into the container as they entered the ceremony, and then during the unity ceremony the bride and groom placed the tree and each put in a scoop of dirt to finish planting the tree.

    I've also seen it done with a sand ceremony, each member of the family using a different color of sand.

    I've also seen a 'family blessing' done during the ceremony.  the parents and step parents and siblings come forward and surround the couple for a special prayer of blessing and support.


    And be sure to take a few minutes during the reception to thank each of your parents for all of their love and support throughout the years!


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