I am an older bride with 2 grown daughters who are my MOH and MTRN-O-H. FI and I have been together over 4 years and have been living together full time for the past year. Early in the wedding planning my daughter asked what she could do to help me and would I like a shower? I said No, no shower and no party. So bestman is giving FI a bachelor dinner and I found out my daughter was going to take me out to dinner the same night. Don't know any details. Somehow FI's Aunt (she's a longtime friend) get's involved --- last weekend she starts telling me "WE should invite so in so and so in so" and on and on.... FI admits he knows about this and talks to his Aunt. Yesterday she text's me "do you want you mom and FMIL invited and your other friends invited?" I tell her I'm really not involved in this, don't want a party, that's what reception is for everyone, they don't need to be asked to come to anything else. She says " I just didn't want to exclude them." I try to tell her please don't go overboard. She texts me "I feel like somebody should be doing something for you. It's up to the people in the wedding party to invite people (meaning not her). Bestman is having 15 people and FI's dinner. I wanted to invite people for you over facebook but I don't even know what time." So I told her she's welcome to have a discussion with my daughter. I just want my friends and family to be there on my wedding day. I know you're trying to be nice but I really don't give a hoot about how many people are going for FI and best man was great to do that but I don't need to have in a competition with his party.She said "OK fine it will just be three of us."
She just being a little crazy I think, and knowing her she will say later "I HAD to do x, y, z because the wedding party didn't do anything. I'm trying to be polite to her but I'm losing patience and I don't even know if my daughter's aware her surprise dinner/ get together with me has been exposed.
How do I handle this?