Wedding at Work?

louxnoelle · May 2015

Fair warning, this one's long. I tried to be as succinct as possible.

I posted last week about some issues with my current venue, and took the advice to look around at some other options. The current front-runner is the theater at which I work.

PROS:
- It's newly renovated as of 2012: new lobby area, marble staircases, beautiful interior makeover.
- It fits my colors perfectly (greys and soft blues), whereas with less-modern theaters, I'm competing against rich colors and ornate decor.
- There's a large, pentagon-shaped area of wood floor in the middle of the carpet, which saves me the expense of renting a dance floor.
- The back-wall of the stage can be painted, which is often done for scenery purposes; my head is already swimming with ideas.
- The travel-time is comparable (actually 5 miles less of a drive) for my caterer, just because of the way the highway routes work out.
- There are two hotels within two miles of the theater.
- I would get a significant discount, and I'm colleagues/friends with the people who run the show.

CONS:
- It's in the middle of the city, and parking can be a bitch, although we're considering hiring a valet or shuttle service to somewhat solve that issue; there are trolleys in the area, which could be fun.
- They've only very recently started renting the place out for events, and have never had a wedding. Other expensive, catered events, yes, but no weddings specifically.
- I'm colleagues/friends with the people who run the show.

This is the main reason why I quickly crossed it off my list of possibilities the first time around (other than food and parking, which have since been rectified). I know it's a bad idea to hire friends to be vendors at your wedding for xyz reasons, and I'm worried those same things may apply with booking my workplace as my wedding venue.

What if something wedding-related arises that causes stress or tension, that then carries over into work stuff? I don't plan on being a bridezilla, but I feel like it would be a lot easier to voice complaints or concerns to a stranger as opposed to people I see on a regular basis and consider friends. That being said, I suppose the exact opposite could happen, and questions/comments/concerns could be a lot more casual and informal because of the relationships we have, which could actually work out in my favor.

Also, a few of these people are being invited to my wedding as guests, namely our event coordinator! There are others who could fill her role for the night, but it just feeds into my feeling that I'm too close to the business side of things.

I'm going in for a "venue tour" tomorrow with my parents - I obviously don't need one, but it would be nice for them to see it. I think I'm going to see how that goes, meaning whether or not it's as professional as it would be with other renters, and if so, whether it feels awkward to be "hiring" my friends.

What's your take, knotties - would you play where you work?

Jen4948 · May 2015

No. I'm a pretty firm believer in keeping your work separate from your personal life. The cons you list in your post about how it could affect your work relationships, in addition to the other cons you list, are good reasons by themselves not to use your workplace as your wedding reception venue.

hellosweetie1015 · May 2015

I'm actually going to disagree with Jen. I think, if it's the right venue for you, it's fine. Most people don't work at wedding venues, I'd say, but venues still have employees. Why should they be forced to choose a different venue when the place they work would be almost perfect for them?

In my mind, that's somewhat kin to telling a staffer of a church that the can't use the church for their wedding, because they are on staff and it would make things more difficult since they know all the people they'd be working with. I mean, it's not exactly the same, but it's definitely similar in my mind.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

I wouldn't do it, mostly because I'd hate for any future workplace grievances I may have to tarnish the memory of my wedding venue, KWIM? I scowl at my old office whenever I drive past it; I'd hate to scowl at the place I got married. Maybe I'm overly romanticizing things, but it would be a consideration for me.

On the flip side, how many of your actual "friends" would you be hiring and what would they actually be doing the day/night of your wedding? Won't the majority of your interactions then be with the caterer, servers, DJ/MC, etc that you're bringing in, rather than the venue staff?

louxnoelle · May 2015

lolo883 said:
On the flip side, how many of your actual "friends" would you be hiring and what would they actually be doing the day/night of your wedding? Won't the majority of your interactions then be with the caterer, servers, DJ/MC, etc that you're bringing in, rather than the venue staff?

There would be the event coordinator, a staff person on lighting, and a staff person on sound; all three of them don't do many hands-on duties the night of, but they're required to be there to make sure everything is running smoothly - the latter two are there to supervise use of the lighting and sound systems, respectively, because the equipment is so expensive. I wouldn't necessarily be interacting with any of them myself.

I wouldn't be giving it so much thought if not for the fact that this place is PERFECT in all other respects: the price, the beauty of it, the colors and decor opportunities, the set-up of the space itself, the nearby hotels. The parking could easily be remedied, and I would most likely be able to retain my current caterer because it's no more of a drive for him than the original venue had been. It really is perfect, it seems a shame to let it go.

I'm certainly listening to the other side of the argument though! I obviously have doubts myself.

jacques27 · May 2015

I know a couple of people who have done it. It turned out fine. One worked for a restaurant that is a very popular wedding venue here. The other worked for a museum.

I think the things to keep in mind about whether or not you do it:

1) Do you actually work as part of the event planning team or are you in a different department?

My friend was a waitress who would work the catered events if scheduled, but she wasn't on the catering team or high enough up to actual work under any of the event coordinators. My other friend worked in fundraising. If the event planning staff are not your direct subordinates or your supervisors, I think it could work out fine.

2) Are you good at compartmentalizing?

Treat them like vendors. That means don't spend your work time going over your wedding details - make appointments just like everyone else. If some of these people are friends outside of work, too, then don't spend your hanging out at dinner time going over it. In the case of your event coordinator friend who is also invited to the wedding, I would probably specifically request she not be involved if there is a team and ask if the person who would cover for her day of could just be your coordinator, period. She can still supervise as appropriate, but I wouldn't make her the coordinator. And in the event that something isn't working out the way you hoped, are you good at being able to separate your personal life from your work life? If you aren't, then this may not be the solution for you.

JennyColada · May 2015

We got married somewhere that we frequent by people we already knew and were close-ish to on a friendly level.

Honestly, I wouldn't have had it any other way. To get married with and by your friends seemed like the perfect choice for us. It made the whole thing more magical that our wedding was made so special because they cared about us (I mean, that's not true, it's their job and I'm sure they are just as "special" with every event).

Personally, knowing these people and working with them seems like a pro to me, not a con.

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