Age cutoff for catered meals for kids?

sunflower0592 · May 2015

So, I'm planning our wedding and thinking about the number of guests who will be at our reception. We are allowing children since we are having it in a location where most of our family and friends will be coming from out of town, and many of them have children. It wouldn't be fair to ask them to make alternative arrangements for their kids when traveling in from out of town. So, most of the kids will be under 12, with about 10 children aged 3 and under (if all of these people I'm thinking of will be able to attend- I just realized how many young children will be there- holy cow).

Anyway, my question is, is it reasonable to expect kids aged 3 and under have food provided for them by their parents? I'm thinking of doing something easy for the other childrens' meals, maybe a kids buffet of something like mac & cheese and chicken nuggets, foods that are general crowd-pleasers with kids. Any tips on how y'all handled this at your weddings would be great. Thanks!

MobKaz · May 2015

Knottie42130483 said:
So, I'm planning our wedding and thinking about the number of guests who will be at our reception. We are allowing children since we are having it in a location where most of our family and friends will be coming from out of town, and many of them have children. It wouldn't be fair to ask them to make alternative arrangements for their kids when traveling in from out of town. So, most of the kids will be under 12, with about 10 children aged 3 and under (if all of these people I'm thinking of will be able to attend- I just realized how many young children will be there- holy cow).
Anyway, my question is, is it reasonable to expect kids aged 3 and under have food provided for them by their parents? I'm thinking of doing something easy for the other childrens' meals, maybe a kids buffet of something like mac & cheese and chicken nuggets, foods that are general crowd-pleasers with kids. Any tips on how y'all handled this at your weddings would be great. Thanks!

For children under the age of 12, we took the time to make a few personal phone calls. I have a 10 year old nephew who would much prefer the adult entree versus the children's meal. Because the venue offered the adult plate at a discounted price for anyone under the age of 21, we gave them the option. My 15 year old niece, on the other hand, much preferred the children's option over the adult entree.

I know many little ones between the ages of 18 months and 3 years who will eat chicken nuggets and mac and cheese. I don't think you should assume parents of kids ages 3 and under will provide their own food.

southernbelle0915 · May 2015

No, I don't think its realistic that parents of under-3 kids will bring their own meals. That might be realistic for kids around 1 bit not for kids that old.

It sounds like youre having a buffet, so i assume you wont have food info/choices on your RSVP card, correct? You might just have a line that says something like "Kids' meal needed? _____"

sunflower0592 · May 2015

southernbelle0915 said:
No, I don't think its realistic that parents of under-3 kids will bring their own meals. That might be realistic for kids around 1 bit not for kids that old.

It sounds like youre having a buffet, so i assume you wont have food info/choices on your RSVP card, correct? You might just have a line that says something like "Kids' meal needed? _____"

Well, I'm not really sure yet, I'm still just throwing around ideas at this point- our wedding is still a ways off. But, there will probably be quite a few children there and I was thinking maybe a buffet would be the best way to deal with food for the younger kids? I was thinking it might be easier on the parents in attendance to have a "kids area" where the children can all sit and have their meals. Logistically though, maybe this would actually be a disaster and the kids would run wild instead of eating their meals. I'm thinking of looking into maybe hiring a babysitter to hang with the kids during the reception if the cost isn't outrageous. I'd definitely prefer a plated dinner for the adult entrees though.

justsie · May 2015

Knottie42130483 said:

southernbelle0915 said:
No, I don't think its realistic that parents of under-3 kids will bring their own meals. That might be realistic for kids around 1 bit not for kids that old.

It sounds like youre having a buffet, so i assume you wont have food info/choices on your RSVP card, correct? You might just have a line that says something like "Kids' meal needed? _____"
Well, I'm not really sure yet, I'm still just throwing around ideas at this point- our wedding is still a ways off. But, there will probably be quite a few children there and I was thinking maybe a buffet would be the best way to deal with food for the younger kids? I was thinking it might be easier on the parents in attendance to have a "kids area" where the children can all sit and have their meals. Logistically though, maybe this would actually be a disaster and the kids would run wild instead of eating their meals. I'm thinking of looking into maybe hiring a babysitter to hang with the kids during the reception if the cost isn't outrageous. I'd definitely prefer a plated dinner for the adult entrees though.

If you do a buffet I would just trust that the parents could create a plate for their kids. I'd be weary of having a kids area, for the exact reason you mentioned. I'd also caution you about hiring a babysitter as not many parents are comfortable leaving their children in the care of someone they do not know, it will probably be a waste of money.

Viczaesar · May 2015

Knottie42130483 said:
No, I don't think its realistic that parents of under-3 kids will bring their own meals. That might be realistic for kids around 1 bit not for kids that old.

It sounds like youre having a buffet, so i assume you wont have food info/choices on your RSVP card, correct? You might just have a line that says something like "Kids' meal needed? _____"

Well, I'm not really sure yet, I'm still just throwing around ideas at this point- our wedding is still a ways off. But, there will probably be quite a few children there and I was thinking maybe a buffet would be the best way to deal with food for the younger kids? I was thinking it might be easier on the parents in attendance to have a "kids area" where the children can all sit and have their meals. Logistically though, maybe this would actually be a disaster and the kids would run wild instead of eating their meals. I'm thinking of looking into maybe hiring a babysitter to hang with the kids during the reception if the cost isn't outrageous. I'd definitely prefer a plated dinner for the adult entrees though.

Bad idea. Children, especially 3 and under, should be seated with their parents.

AddieCake · May 2015

I can't imagine most people would let their super young children sit away from them, and I would think younger babies' parents would bring their own food, but perhaps not those over 2.

MobKaz · May 2015

It sounds like you are trying to be thoughtful. The best and simplest thing to do is let the parents worry about their children. If parents are concerned about an easy or fun night, they will opt to leave their children at home. More often than not, parents won't be comfortable having a stranger babysit their children, even if that sitter is well known to you and/or the service is on site at the reception. For those parents who choose to bring their kids, the best scenario is to keep families intact and seat them all together.

kmmssg · May 2015

I have to say that I would have never thought of bringing food for my 2 year old because at that age they are eating table food.

As a mom of 5 I can't encourage you enough to NOT have a kids table. In a setting such as a wedding, parents want those kids on their best behavior with their best manners. Seat them away from mom and dad and it might not be pretty at all. Not to mention the oldest kids at the kids table end up more like babysitters. You really want the children with their parents or you could have a real mess on your hands.

You sound like you are trying to be thoughtful in all of this but I think you are putting things on your plate that don't need to be there. Most parents will not leave their child with an unknown sitter, and a lot of children might flip out being with a stranger.

I think you should plan for kids meals for ages 10 and under, seat kids with their parents and let the rest of it go.

One major caveat - you may have some 10 year olds who won't be filled by a kids meal. when my son was 10 he was well over 5 feet tall (we grow em big and hearty). He quit eating kids meals when he was about 7 because there just wasn't enough food in them. As one pp mentioned, you might want to call the parents and ask them if the child would want a kids meal or an adult meal.

Jen4948 · May 2015

Well, no. Although I agree that some kids are picky eaters, I think that hosting them puts the onus on you to provide meals for them at your wedding and not expect their parents to bring meals for them.

And when exactly are out-of-town parents supposed to stop at a store or a fast food place between the wedding and reception to acquire food for their kids, let alone actually cook it? Your venue is very likely not going to allow them to bring in outside food and drinks due to local health codes. And where in a hotel room are the parents supposed to store and cook it?

Logistically, this wouldn't work even if it were polite, which it is not.

So I think you need to budget for meals for all your guests, not just adults and kids over a certain age. If the kids don't eat them, that's their problem, not yours.

Heffalump · May 2015

I think it's nice to give parents the option of a kids' meal, but let them have an adult meal if they prefer. I know kids who prefer salmon to chicken nuggets (my oldest is one of these, I have no idea where she hatched from), and when we were invited to my brother's wedding, he gave us the option. I really appreciated that he took her preferences into account, it made him seem like a thoughtful host.

I would not expect parents to bring food for kids under three. Snacks are fine--I always travel with several--but to bring a full-blown meal is inconvenient, and honestly, not the best hosting. (E.g. "We'll feed some members of your family, but not all of them.") For a full meal, you'd have to think of something that you could keep at the appropriate temperature, may not be able to reheat, etc.--it's a logistical challenge that a good host shouldn't push off onto their guests. And kids aren't oblivious--if they see their parents or older sibling chowing down on chicken and pasta and they have a PB&J in a baggy, they're going to want what everyone else is eating.

TL;DR: feed the kids

labro · May 2015

I know you're still throwing around ideas so here is what we did. Nothing.

We had a buffet and the same meal was provided to everyone who attended. There were chicken, beef, and veg choices and a variety of people pleasing types of side dishes too (so basically if we had a picky eater there should've been enough options that they could fill up on SOMETHING even if it was just bread or starches). The only difference between adult meals/kids meals was our caterer charged less (or nothing) based on the age of the kid. All children were seated with their parents/caregivers and as far as I know everyone was happy.

lyndausvi · May 2015

Every venue/caterer has their own policy when it comes to kids. So first you need to ask them.

Some say 3 and under are free, figuring they might eat off the parents plates. Some have 4-10/12 with be half off a buffet. Or they will give you a special kids meal. Others lower or raise the ages. Some even have 6-12 has one price and 3-5 even lower. Others do not discount at all.

Many venues and caterers have strict no outside food policies. Formula and "baby food" are normally exempt, but most 2-3 years olds are eating from the table. So that becomes a little gray area. Bag full of cheerios will go mostly unnoticed. But an actual plate of food is a different story.

Some 8 years olds eat adult meals. Even some 3 years olds will eat adult like foods and not your standard chicken nuggets and mac-n-cheese.

Point is, do not assume. First get with the venue/caterer what they offer as far as kid's meals. Then go from there.

theartistformerlyknownas · May 2015

No, it is not reasonable to expect that parents will bring food for kids under 3. Snacks maybe, but definitely not a full meal. You know kids can start eating solid foods around 6 months, right? 1-3 they're eating the same foods as their parents, just cut into smaller bites and sometimes (but not always) with pickier palates. My 2 yo niece loves Thai food.

We had plated entrees, so we offered our 12-and-under guests their choice of a regular meal or a kids' plate with chicken fingers and fries. If we'd had a buffet, I would have made sure the options were likely palatable to adults and kids alike. Ask your venue which they recommend and what they allow, pricing-wise.

Definitely, definitely seat all the kids with their parents.

LD1970 · May 2015

Seriously, I ate everything as a kid and wouldn't have liked being relegated to "kids' food." I started eating whole broiled lobsters at 4.

thespeshulestsnowflake · May 2015

LD1970 said:
Seriously, I ate everything as a kid and wouldn't have liked being relegated to "kids' food." I started eating whole broiled lobsters at 4.

Same, I wanted frog legs for dinner on my 3rd birthday.

LD1970 · May 2015

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

LD1970 said:
Seriously, I ate everything as a kid and wouldn't have liked being relegated to "kids' food." I started eating whole broiled lobsters at 4.
Same, I wanted frog legs for dinner on my 3rd birthday.

LOL, I had a harder time with frog legs (I was in my late 30s or early 40s the one time I tried them) because we had frogs in the fish tank & I have this thing about eating things I've had as pets.

thespeshulestsnowflake · May 2015

LD1970 said:

thespeshulestsnowflake said:

LD1970 said:
Seriously, I ate everything as a kid and wouldn't have liked being relegated to "kids' food." I started eating whole broiled lobsters at 4.
Same, I wanted frog legs for dinner on my 3rd birthday.
LOL, I had a harder time with frog legs (I was in my late 30s or early 40s the one time I tried them) because we had frogs in the fish tank & I have this thing about eating things I've had as pets.

I get that. The first time I tried them is a cute story. I had some from my dad's plate and tasted them. "This is good chicken," I told him and my mom. They then told me it was frog legs. I sat there and pondered it for a couple minutes and responded "ribbit."

LD1970 · May 2015

Funny!

Yeah, the first time I tried escargots I didn't know what it was, but I loved it & found out immediately after. So then I had more.

TrixieJess · May 2015

Knottie42130483 said:
So, I'm planning our wedding and thinking about the number of guests who will be at our reception. We are allowing children since we are having it in a location where most of our family and friends will be coming from out of town, and many of them have children. It wouldn't be fair to ask them to make alternative arrangements for their kids when traveling in from out of town. So, most of the kids will be under 12, with about 10 children aged 3 and under (if all of these people I'm thinking of will be able to attend- I just realized how many young children will be there- holy cow).
Anyway, my question is, is it reasonable to expect kids aged 3 and under have food provided for them by their parents? I'm thinking of doing something easy for the other childrens' meals, maybe a kids buffet of something like mac & cheese and chicken nuggets, foods that are general crowd-pleasers with kids. Any tips on how y'all handled this at your weddings would be great. Thanks!

My two year old eats like a fourteen year old boy. If I had to go to an OOT wedding and provide a meal for my son, I would decline. I also would not give my son chicken nuggets or mac and cheese unless they were homemade. He can and would eat what everyone else was eating. Ask the parents, they know best.

VulgarGirl · May 2015

It sounds like rather than thinking of these kids as guests themselves, you're viewing them as extensions of their parents. Start thinking of them as guests too.

Lets say you were wondering if you should make sure there were some vegan options for your vegan friend Sarah. Would you, at any time, think Sarah was going to bring her own vegan food?

SP29 · May 2015

First- ask your venue what their policy is. You may be making things more stressful than they need to be.

At our venue, 3 and under were free, but they still got a small kids meal. 4-12 received a kids meal. 13-18 received an adult meal, but we were charged a cheaper price as they wouldn't be consuming from the bar.

On our RSVP card, we had meal choices (chicken or beef), plus we also had a line where parents could check off for a kids meal.

Second- No, do not expect parents to feed their children at an event you are hosting. These children are your invited guests too. At the same time, do not freak out trying to accommodate varying tastes. Let parents decide and monitor how their children eat.

Seat children with their parents. Some people may be ok with a kids room and babysitter, but others may not. I think it's less hassle for you to let the parents be responsible for their children.

jacques27 · May 2015

MagicInk said:
It sounds like rather than thinking of these kids as guests themselves, you're viewing them as extensions of their parents. Start thinking of them as guests too.

Lets say you were wondering if you should make sure there were some vegan options for your vegan friend Sarah. Would you, at any time, think Sarah was going to bring her own vegan food?

Exactly this - treat them as individuals (because they are). Ask the parents individually. You don't have to be a short order cook at cater to specific foods - just "Hey, we'll have a kids menu that offers this or the adult menu has X, Y, Z options. What would your kids prefer?"

My SO would love to be offered a kids menu. Meanwhile, my two, almost three, year old nephew happily ate half of my bowl of tom kha gai, several bites of his mom's green papaya salad, and put a pretty large dent in his father's panang curry. I'm not even sure the kid knows what a chicken nugget is.

sunflower0592 · May 2015

Thanks so much for the advice everyone. This was one of those grey areas I was feeling really unsure about how to best proceed in a way that makes everyone happy. I was unclear in my original message about parents providing food- of course I would never expect a parent to pack full meals for their kids, but I've been to plenty of weddings where young (3 and under) kids are provided with plenty of snacks from their parents, so I wasn't sure if this was par for the course or not. After reading a few articles, I've realized (happily) that I don't actually have to invite all these children, which might be the best course of action. There are a few children in my life that I'm close to, and I figured since I would be allowing them to come, I would have to allow anyone's child to come. That quickly ballooned to potentially 28 kids under the age of 10, with around 12 of those being 1-3 years old! I was kind of dreading the idea of having that many kids at our wedding, but since it apparently is acceptable to invite just a few children and not allllll the kids (especially considering we've never even met some of the kids of our friends- and some are still currently cooking), I think that will probably be best for us, though I'm sure there will be a few awkward exchanges from some huffy parents who feel their special snowflakes should be included in the wedding festivities.

SP29 · May 2015

That is correct- as long as you aren't breaking up family units (i.e. inviting an older sibling but not the younger one), just like with adults you can invite the children you want there, and not the children you don't.

It is always recommended to invite in circles to avoid hurt feelings (such as close family), but you are not required to invite any children.

Age cutoff for catered meals for kids?

Re: Age cutoff for catered meals for kids?

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