Wedding Invitations & Paper

Too contemporary? Too...something?

Well, now I'm second-guessing myself...

My parents are paying for everything but the (VERY nice) rehearsal dinner, for which FI's parents are paying. FI's parents have also offered to pay for our honeymoon.

That said, as I was getting input on invitations from Mom, after I told her what the traditional wording is for a church wedding where the bride's parents pay, Mom said FI's parents should be included as well, to make their moral support clear. Without thinking, I threw out some VERY contemporary wording (based on a template I saw while shopping for invitations): "The (bride's surname) and (groom's surname) families..."

To my surprise, BOTH moms went for it. Mom further wordsmithed it into: "The (bride's surname) and (groom's surname) families hope you will join them for the marriage of..."
Mom's thinking was that moral support needs to be part of the picture. Additionally, our families are already close (we dated for years before our engagement), and I personally think this pays a nice tribute to that as well.

But is this too informal? Our wedding is going to be pretty traditional and kind of fancy, and that's the general look and feel of everything so far. Should we walk it back to more traditional language?

Should we downplay FI's parents more since they aren't paying as much?

Or should we blaze a new trail?
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Re: Too contemporary? Too...something?

  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited May 2015
    Your current wording lists both your parents and your FI's parents as hosts.  This is very confusing.  There is no reason for the Groom's family to be on your invitation.  Putting their names on there does not "include" them.  They are not hosting, so they cannot appear on the host line.  Moral support is not on the invitation!  This is shown by their attendance and obvious joy at the ceremony and reception.
    The wedding invitation is a formal note from the hosts (your parents) to the guests, telling them who, what, when and where.  It does not convey approval or disapproval.  It is not meant to be a family tree.  It is NOT an honor to have your name on the invitation!

    You have a choice:

    Mr. and Mrs. Bridesparents
    request the pleasure of your company (honour of your presence)
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Mr. Groom's Full Name
    Day, date
    time o'clock
    Venue Name
    Address
    City, State

    or, non-traditional, with everybody hosting (which is NOT the case!)

    Together with their parents (families)
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    request the pleasure of your company (honour of your presence)
    as they are united in marriage
    (etc.)

    or also, non-traditional, but not the end of the world:  It does make it clear that your parents are hosting.

    Mr. and Mrs. John Bridesparents
    request the pleasure of your company
    at the marriage of their daughter
    Bride's First Middle
    to
    Groom's Full Name
    son of Mr. and Mrs. George Groomparents
    (etc.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
  • Well, now I'm second-guessing myself...

    My parents are paying for everything but the (VERY nice) rehearsal dinner, for which FI's parents are paying. FI's parents have also offered to pay for our honeymoon.

    That said, as I was getting input on invitations from Mom, after I told her what the traditional wording is for a church wedding where the bride's parents pay, Mom said FI's parents should be included as well, to make their moral support clear. Without thinking, I threw out some VERY contemporary wording (based on a template I saw while shopping for invitations): "The (bride's surname) and (groom's surname) families..."

    To my surprise, BOTH moms went for it. Mom further wordsmithed it into: "The (bride's surname) and (groom's surname) families hope you will join them for the marriage of..."
    Mom's thinking was that moral support needs to be part of the picture. Additionally, our families are already close (we dated for years before our engagement), and I personally think this pays a nice tribute to that as well.

    But is this too informal? Our wedding is going to be pretty traditional and kind of fancy, and that's the general look and feel of everything so far. Should we walk it back to more traditional language?

    Should we downplay FI's parents more since they aren't paying as much?

    Or should we blaze a new trail?

    Just make sure you're telling the guests who is inviting them to what at where and when.  Don't get too contemporary with wording or you confuse people. "What are we attending?  What does "sharing in their joy" mean?  Is it a wedding?  Is it a party because they're already married?  Are they not getting married and this is just a promise celebration?"  Use regular wording.  I'd use the "together with their families" line if I were you.
  • IMO, fussing about who's paying for what especially when the people paying don't care is kind of passé. I'd say something more like "The (bride's surname) and (groom's surname) families request the honour of your presence at the marriage of" to keep the tone formal while sharing the host line. Who's paying for what isn't actually any of the guests' business, and your mom's sentiment is beautiful.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Who is hosting? Hosting does not equal paying. Your parents can pay for everything, but both set of parents can still host. 

    If your having a church wedding and both sets hosting:

    Mr. and Mrs. Brideparents
    and
    Mr. and Mrs. Groomsparents 
    request the honor of your presence
    at the marriage of
    Bride's Full Name
    and
    Groom's Full Name
    etc.

    image
    image

    image


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