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Rehearsal dinner invitations

Is this a thing I should care about or NBD?

I know they sell them, but is it optional like a STD?

Thanks!


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Re: Rehearsal dinner invitations

  • We're doing them, because we're inviting like 60 people (OOT family is invited as well as wedding party and immediate family), we don't have everybody's email address to do an evite, and we got them for like $25 on VistaPrint (protip: they have a Memorial Day sale going on through tomorrow and there are coupon codes you can use as well).  But I don't think they're strictly necessary.  If your rehearsal dinner is small and/or limited to wedding party only, I think an email, evite, or even word of mouth would suffice.
  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    Meh. We only did them b/c in-laws were hosting so they wanted rehearsal invitations with directions to their house (for the dinner).


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  • peachy13peachy13 in my cubicle, doing very important work member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I know they're not required, but I like them. I found some nice and casual ones on vistaprint for pretty cheap that I plan to order.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    If you are having a small RD, meaning just immediate family and your wedding party (plus their SOs) I just don't really get the point.  It is just as easy to text your friends the info and then call up mom and dad about the when and where.

    But if you were having a pretty large RD then invites make sense.

  • I don't think they're super important. 

    We did them just because I felt like it, but I went online and googled something like "free invitation templates." I found a cute template-- for free-- and then printed them at work for free, and already had envelopes in the correct size that were leftover from our STDs. 

    That was one of those things I would not have cared enough to do if it was going to cost a bunch of money. We could have just e-mailed/texted/called people because our RD wasn't huge. 
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  • blabla89blabla89 Atlanta member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't think a paper invitation is necessary if you plan to personally invite everyone. Since we invited a lot of people to the RD, we did an evite and it worked out pretty well.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    I just wanted to do an email "invite" but FI insisted on paper invites. I found some basic party invites at Target on super clearance and bought them.  Sending them out was his task since he insisted on paper, not to mention his dad is hosting so I figured they might want to send something themselves. And then they sat, and sat, and sat, and sat and FI never got around to actually doing anything about them and then it was too late to send  So I emailed and texted my people and he contacted his.

    I wouldn't buy anything special for them, just something basic you can get at the store if you want to do paper invites.

  • My FILs are hosting and even went around me to my mother to get "our side's" list, but didn't ask for addresses or anything so I was wondering if I should be concerned if this was an etiquette fail.

    I have no idea how big of a RD she is planning but the restaurant has a 25 person minimum and we don't have a real wedding party.

    She was originally planning a block party until I told her back in December not to invite anyone not invited to the wedding... sigh.

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  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
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    @luckya23 Could she be inviting out-of-towners?


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  • @luckya23 Could she be inviting out-of-towners?

    I'm pretty sure she is... she told my mom she could add out of towers but our guest list is 85% oot so I'm a bit concerned...

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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I think with an RD it's perfectly fine to do EVite, Paperless Post, Punchbowl, or other electronic forms of inviting people. Heck, I'm cool with e-mail. 

    If you like stationary, then have at it with the real paper / snail mail. 
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle British Columbia member
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    For me it would depend on the size of the RD.

    I invited my entire wedding to ours.  Technically we didn't even have a rehearsal, it was more of a hey, the wedding is tomorrow and we are all here, so let's all go have dinner together.  I texted/emailed/facebooked the details since there was 14 of us.  A couple of us were already staying at the lodge where we ate anyway, so it was pretty easy to figure out.

    If it is a larger group, invitations might be easier.  I wouldn't be offended by a call/email for that kind of thing.  But I know some people would be.
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  • beachyone15beachyone15 TEXAS (the home of my exes) member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Second Anniversary First Answer
    For me it would depend on the size of the RD.

    I invited my entire wedding to ours.  Technically we didn't even have a rehearsal, it was more of a hey, the wedding is tomorrow and we are all here, so let's all go have dinner together.  I texted/emailed/facebooked the details since there was 14 of us.  A couple of us were already staying at the lodge where we ate anyway, so it was pretty easy to figure out.

    If it is a larger group, invitations might be easier.  I wouldn't be offended by a call/email for that kind of thing.  But I know some people would be.
    Yeah, I  think it's also a know-your-crowd kind of thing. Paper rehearsal dinner invites are in no way mandatory, but depending on how formal you want to be (or how formal your crowd is) you could have them. But either way, you're fine. Don't stress over this!


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  • labrolabro Hotlanta member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    luckya23 said:
    @luckya23 Could she be inviting out-of-towners?
    I'm pretty sure she is... she told my mom she could add out of towers but our guest list is 85% oot so I'm a bit concerned...
    We invited OOT family to our RD so it certainly sounds like this is what she could be doing. Have you had a conversation AT ALL with her about what the plans are for the dinner? I feel like you have a right to know even if she's the one doing all the hosting.

    FWIW, we did paper invitations for our RD. We invited about 70 people and had 65 attend so it was a pretty substantial group and I thought it was definitely necessary, especially since I needed to know numbers for our caterer and chair/table rentals. At the same time, I feel like something like an e-vite would be appropriate for an RD as long as its going to be pretty casual.



  • labro said:
    luckya23 said:
    @luckya23 Could she be inviting out-of-towners?
    I'm pretty sure she is... she told my mom she could add out of towers but our guest list is 85% oot so I'm a bit concerned...
    We invited OOT family to our RD so it certainly sounds like this is what she could be doing. Have you had a conversation AT ALL with her about what the plans are for the dinner? I feel like you have a right to know even if she's the one doing all the hosting.

    FWIW, we did paper invitations for our RD. We invited about 70 people and had 65 attend so it was a pretty substantial group and I thought it was definitely necessary, especially since I needed to know numbers for our caterer and chair/table rentals. At the same time, I feel like something like an e-vite would be appropriate for an RD as long as its going to be pretty casual.

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    Things are tense between us ATM, which I guess is why she went to my mother for our list.  I spoke to her about it months ago when she gave me the pamphlet for the restaurant she chose, but no firm plans at the time.  She asked my opinion between two menu choices and that was about it.

    We've invited 170 to the wedding, so there is definitely potential for a huge RD, even though I made it clear back in December that wasn't what I had in mind.  50 would be very possible....

    I guess the invites are on her though, if she has gone all out but expects to call people (she doesn't use the computer).

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