Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Nicknames or Full Names?

I've NEVER gone by my full name, always Nikki. My partner has never once called me by my full name and likely never will. So it feels unnatural to be referred to as anything other than "Nikki" when exchanging vows and being addressed by our officiant? Is it inappropriate? I just can't imagine why I would be addressed as something that I haven't been for ages outside of doctors offices and my drivers license.
KnotRiley

Re: Nicknames or Full Names?

  • IMO not a problem to use the name(s) you go by.
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    Knottie1429926455
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Yeah there's no problem with this. I called H Rick, not Richard during our ceremony.
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  • You can do whatever you wish, as long as you sign the marriage certificate with your legal names.  I had this issue, too, and we chose to use our legal names during the ceremony.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Our officiant used my husband's nickname, not his full name.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • We had this issue as well.  My FH is known far and wide by his last name only.  My MOH didn't even know his first name until about six months ago and I have never once called him by his first name.  Our officiant is a good friend and FHs former roommate.  When he read our ceremony script he was like "I have to call him John?  I don't know how to do that?!"  I talked it over with FH and he said that our officiant can refer to him by his last name throughout the ceremony but for the vows he really wants it to be his first name.  Thankfully, I was able to frame the vows in such a way that we never say each others names.  The officiant says "John, blah blah blah" and we just answer "I will." 

    Do whatever works for you and makes you feel comfortable.  As the PPs said as long as you sign your full name on the license it doesn't matter what you call each other during the ceremony.
  • Go with your nickname if it makes you more comfortable. Don't forget to talk to your officiant about it so he/she says the right name during the ceremony. 
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We used my husband's nickname. He's always been Bobby and nothing else.

  • Went to a wedding a couple months ago where the invitation had the bride's full name on it which was just so different from what we call her.  The minister officiating was her uncle or something.  He kept bouncing back and forth between the two names during his talks.  It was so funny.  He wanted to be official like the invitation, but he knew everyone in the room including himself knew her as her nickname.  So, my advice is, do what you want, but be consistent.
  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    Both my husband and I go by the short version of our names.  During the service, our officiants referred to us by the short names, but when it came to the legal stuff, we used the long ones.
    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
  • I think if you're uncomfortable with using your full name, there's no reason to force it.  We are using my FI's shortened name for the officiant's personal remarks, etc, but will be using his full name for the vows.  I really think it's a matter of personal preference and won't negatively affect anything either way, so do what you feel comfortable with.


  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    CMGragain said:

    You can do whatever you wish, as long as you sign the marriage certificate with your legal names.  I had this issue, too, and we chose to use our legal names during the ceremony.

    I agree with this.  As long as the marriage certificate has your legal names on it, it's really up to you what names you use during the ceremony.
  • We are using our full names. I go by my full name at work and honestly like it more though I get why friends would call me by the shorter version, it's just easier to say. My fiance never goes by his full name but I think it sounded better to have both of our full names and since I wanted it to be my full name  he said he didn't mind going by his as well for the ceremony.
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  • Officiant said she will call FH by his full name once at the beginning of the ceremony then will proceed to use the name he goes by (Think Tim instead of Timothy).


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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 Boston Suburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We used my husband's shortened name during the ceremony. His full name was used on the invitations and obviously the marriage license.
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  • Its not a big problem if you dont want to use your full name. Just make it simple, because the important thing is your full name is written on your certifite. 
  • I use my middle name and opted for "B. Rose" since some people still know me by my first name. I think you should use what makes you feel most comfortable. It's YOUR day -- you get it your way :)
  • I use my middle name and opted for "B. Rose" since some people still know me by my first name. I think you should use what makes you feel most comfortable. It's YOUR day -- you get it your way :)

    You're right, but not about it being "your day".  That's a bad mindset to have.  It's everyone's day.  As long as I don't die between today and your wedding day, your wedding day will also be 'My Day". So...
    KnottiePinemikenberger
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    Our officiant asked us how we wanted to be addressed. Emma is my middle name and DH goes by Jay  (not James). I asked him to start the ceremony with our full names (first, middle, and last, suffix for DH) and then the names we go by the rest of the ceremony. I liked it that way.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    emmaaa said:
    Our officiant asked us how we wanted to be addressed. Emma is my middle name and DH goes by Jay  (not James). I asked him to start the ceremony with our full names (first, middle, and last, suffix for DH) and then the names we go by the rest of the ceremony. I liked it that way.
    Me too.  That's a nice way to do it.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I have always gone by a nickname.  So during the ceremony and on our invitations my nickname was used.  I didn't want to be called by my first name because that is not what I am ever addressed as.

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