Making sure it's clear who's invited...

Re: Making sure it's clear who's invited...

• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  May 2015

  If you are using inner envelopes only the names of invited people are written on the envelope. I have also heard of people using wording something like "2 seats have been reserved for you" (probably not the exact wording) on the reply cards to indicate the exact number of people  for whom the reply card is responding. Other than that, if you get responses that indicate extra people will be attending you will need to follow up explaining exactly who is invited. 

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• southernbelle0915 mod

  

  May 2015

  If you want, you could do a separate RSVP card if these are the only people you're worried about...

  
  

  "_2_ seats have been reserved in your honor. Invited guests: _Mr. So-and-so and Mrs. So-and-so_

  
  

  ___Number of guests attending

  ___Decline with regret

  
  

  Please write each guest's initials by their menu choice:

  _______ Beef

  _______ Chicken

  _______ Vegetarian"

  
  

  So here you have 2 places where you are clear that they are the only two invited. AND you have two places where you can catch them trying to add additional people ("number attending" and if they add more initials than invited guests). 

  
  

  If they add people to the RSVP, then you follow up and tell them that you are unable to accommodate additional guests.

  
  

  If they just show up with additional people, you need to decide how you want to handle it. Will you accommodate, or will you have the coordinator tell them that they can't accommodate uninvited guests?

  *********************************************************************************

  
  

  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  May 2015

  southernbelle0915 said:

  If you want, you could do a separate RSVP card if these are the only people you're worried about...

  
  

  "_2_ seats have been reserved in your honor. Invited guests: _Mr. So-and-so and Mrs. So-and-so_

  
  

  ___Number of guests attending

  ___Decline with regret

  
  

  Please write each guest's initials by their menu choice:

  _______ Beef

  _______ Chicken

  _______ Vegetarian"

  
  

  So here you have 2 places where you are clear that they are the only two invited. AND you have two places where you can catch them trying to add additional people ("number attending" and if they add more initials than invited guests). 

  
  

  If they add people to the RSVP, then you follow up and tell them that you are unable to accommodate additional guests.

  
  

  If they just show up with additional people, you need to decide how you want to handle it. Will you accommodate, or will you have the coordinator tell them that they can't accommodate uninvited guests?

  The bolded is something that you really need to think about.  It sounds like no matter how firm you say "only X and Y are invited" they will probably still bring and extra guest or two.  So it is just best to be prepared.  You and your FI need to decide how you will handle any extras that are brought along.  How willing are you to rock the boat?  Are you okay having a venue staffer say "I am sorry but you were not invited so you are going to have to leave"?  Or do you want to minimize any drama and just plan for some extra guests as a "to be safe" type of deal.  So talk to your FI and talk to your venue coordinator and plan a course of action.

  
  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  May 2015

  Ditto PPs. The other option I've seen is to do RSVPs that say:

  
  

  John Smith  __ beef ___ fish ___ declines

  Jane Smith  __ beef ___ fish ___ declines

  
  

  It makes it clear who is invited, but also limits their ability to substitute a guest on you. But, it takes extra time on your part, and it still doesn't get around the fact that some people do not care who was invited. 

  
  

  I would have a staff person there to "assist" guests in locating their seating cards. If someone who is not on the list shows up, you'll know about it right away. 

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• Jen4948 member

  

  May 2015

  Well, you can't list anything on your invitations to the effect of "X not invited" or "No extra guests."  You can say something like "2 seats have been reserved in your honor" on your RSVP cards.

  But you do need to figure out how you're going to handle people bringing uninvited guests with them.  It is okay to have venue staffers check in guests and let uninvited ones know that they can't be accommodated, but it's also true that the uninvited guests, or the invited guests they are accompanying, or other guests, may create drama if that does happen.  You may also need security to escort these people out if necessary.  It's something that you'll have to decide together with your FI and plan for together with your venue and event coordinator/s.

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• CMGragain member

  

  May 2015

  I would telephone this relative in advance, and tell them that their invitation is coming, but that you have limited space, so you won't be able to accommodate any extra guests.  Stress how pleased you will be to see them at your wedding.
  

  

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• kmrak688 member

  

  May 2015

  Thanks, everyone.  I'll be designing invitations soon and all your ideas are very helpful!
  

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