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Well that was awkward...

lovemesomemonsterlovemesomemonster member
First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
in Chit Chat
Thought this story might kick off a hump day awkward moments thread, because we could all use some fun in the middle of the week.

This last weekend we spent four days with FI's family. One of the days he went golfing so I hung out with his parents and we ended up meeting his dad's uncle at the bar for a drink. He had been there since 9am, take a guess at the state he was in! I had met him once before so he decided to sit down and talk to me and make sure to give some marriage advice. Pretty soon the conversation turned to sex. Yes, I am there without FI in front of his parents being asked how often we have sex. I love FI's parents and I am a totally open person and think sex is a fabulous thing, but this was not a convo I was overly excited to be having!!!

Help me get through the afternoon and share some awkward stories! 

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Re: Well that was awkward...

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    bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Once my parents had some family friends over. One woman showed up and said "I haven't had anything to eat all day!" as she poured herself a large glass of whiskey. She was wasted very quickly. She interrogated my brother's very shy, quiet girlfriend about their sex life and then told SO he needed to propose to me by saying he wanted to "stick his D in my P". She also kept trying to grab his ass all night. The night was full of horribly awkward moments.


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    novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    One Sunday morning, we woke up and decided to have morning sex. About 15 minutes after we were done, his phone rings and it's his dad, so he picked up. I can hear his dad through the phone. Right after H says hi, his dad says, "You sound happy. You sound like you just got laid. Did you just get laid?" H was so caught off guard that all he could do was awkwardly laugh, to which his dad said, "Sounds like it was good." WHAT!? (And how the hell did he know??) 
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    novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Oh wait, I just remembered another one! lol. 

    At Christmas, H wanted to see a photo on my phone, so I handed it to him and told him to scroll through. Then I grabbed the phone away and said, "Wait! There's a photo of my wedding dress on there!" (Mind you, I'm sitting in a room with SIL, BIL, and both of H's parents. And my parents NEVER EVER EVER EVER talked about sex at all, so it's just not a thing I can talk about with parents). 

    BIL commented, "He can't see your dress?" 

    I said, "I want it to be a surprise." 

    BIL: "Isn't it tradition not to see the BRIDE before the wedding? I didn't think it was tradition not to see the dress at all." 

    MIL: "Well it also used to be tradition not to have sex before the wedding but they do that too." 

    Long awkward silence. 
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    julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its

    Every year we go to a music festival with FI's family.  You camp out in this field and then walk over to the shows in the afternoons/evenings.  The first 2 years we shared a camper with FI's dad and stepmom.  One day, FI (just BF at the time), and his stepbrother went golfing.  I sat outside and read, and his dad and stepmom were "napping" in the camper, or so I thought.  I went back inside to get something and heard his stepmom moaning... like THAT kind of moaning.  Thank god the door to the bedroom area was closed so I didn't see anything. 

    Needless to say, after that week, FI and I went and bought our own camper and now have it all to ourselves. 

    Married 9.12.15
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    lovemesomemonsterlovemesomemonster member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    These are great! @bethsmiles I would have loved to be a fly on the wall for that!

    @novella1186, I can't relate to the not taking about sex thing at all, my family is a freaking open book. Any time my mom can tell that FI and I aren't 100% happy with each other her first question is always "how's your sex life". Would be fine if it was just left at "that part of the relationship is great" but she always wants to keep talking about it and I get to the point that I have to flat out ask "do you want to know positions and frequency?"

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    NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Not an awkward sex story, I thankfully haven't had anything to traumatizing. 

    But today I was working on our ceremony at work. Because work is painfully slow. Anyways, I sit at the front reception desk, although we rarely have any walk in clients. Its' quiet at work today and the only coworkers that are in are in back offices way away from my desk.

    So I'm sitting up at the front all by myself re reading out loud what I had wrote, and had just got to the 'pronouncement' part and I got all emotional and choked up and starting to cry. Friggen hormones. And OF COURSE not only at that moment did a coworker come sauntering up to ask me something, but a random salesperson came in the front door.

    Ugh. 
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    kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Back when H and his brothers lived at home, BIL that we now share a house with walked in on us. Multiple times. He seriously lacked the understanding of a closed door (it didn't lock). MIL walked in once after we were finished. Aaaaaaawkward.

    She is hilarious though. She promised my mom that she would make sure we slept in separate rooms if she agreed I could sleep over after prom. My mom was convinced we'd have sex and it wasn't ok. So prom ends, we get back to the house and she basically says have fun kids and goes to bed. My mom clearly didn't realize we'd been having sex for over 6 months at that point anyway.
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    BouxRadleyBouxRadley member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    My dad once told FI (everyone was stone cold sober) that "the key to getting more beej's, is making sure you wipe well."

    He also asked him once at a large family lunch, "How long are you planning on milking my cow for free?" But honestly, that's just dad. I was more irritated by being referred to as a heifer.
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    novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    BouxRadley said:
    My dad once told FI (everyone was stone cold sober) that "the key to getting more beej's, is making sure you wipe well."

    He also asked him once at a large family lunch, "How long are you planning on milking my cow for free?" But honestly, that's just dad. I was more irritated by being referred to as a heifer.
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