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Bridemaids (vent)

Originally I didn't want any because of the "horror" stories. But my FI has a sister and he really wants her to be in the wedding (he told me if I didn't have BMs he would make her his "Bestwoman". I've decided to have BMs to accomodate my FI, he does things to make me happy so why not. So now I have to choose about 3 more girls. I SO don't want to do this and I am praying that they don't do anything to piss me off...I'm hoping this process will go smoothly... Here is my plan lol...I ask them "individually their budget, I find the dress, I tell them their deadline for ordering it, send them a reminder email or text when the deadline approaches, if they don't order by then, they are out no need to for me to say anything more...I buy the matching shoes and accessories for the ones that did order their dress and call it a day...Do you think this plan will work(causing me the least amount of stress)?  uuugh
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Re: Bridemaids (vent)

  • You can always just have your MOH and 1 bridesmaid - is there really any need to have more if you don't want it? Don't worry about trying to balance things out if he wants more attendants on his side. Maybe he would also be happy if she did a reading? I generally feel bad for the grooms sister that is asked to be a bm especially when the other bridesmaids all know eachother and may be friends or have some kind of history - the sister always seems like the odd one out (from what I have seen.)
    It sounds like though that you don't have a core group of people that you would ideally like to have in your bridal party- don't stress yourself out with it and just have as few people involved as you can.
  • Honestly, you should probably hold off on asking anyone for right now. Your wedding is still pretty far away and a lot of relationships can change. That's where a ton of those horror stories come from... People ask too early, their relationships change and it all blows up from there. I asked my BM about 11 months in advance and I even read that might be considered too early. You don't really need to ask them til about 6 to 7 months before the wedding. It will probably be less stressful for you to wait a year and then ask the people you are closest to at that time. Also, if you have a friend who has a reputation for being a drama queen, unreliable etc, you'll want to take that into account. If that's how she normally she is, there's every chance she'll be the same exact way for your wedding. Good luck!
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  • You're a year and a half out from your wedding - there is NO reason to be stressing about this now. I would highly suggest waiting until about the 9 month mark to pick your bridal party. A LOT can happen between now and then that could change your relationships with these people.

    Also, I agree with PP - you don't need even sides, and you shouldn't choose people just to fill the role. As far as your plan goes, it sounds fine. Let them have a say in the dress, but you definitely get the final say.
  • edited February 2012
    I wanted to try to have an even amount of BMs to his GMs but you're right I don't HAVE to...I was also planning to ask them this summer and since the months are going by so fast I was starting to get anxiety trying to figure out who among my family and friends I should ask...but hey if I can wait less than 9 months before my wedding date to ask them then I have plenty of time! I don't have to worry about who to ask until next year and hopefully by then it won't even be a "worry"... Thanks Ladies...I feel much better
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  • My suggestion would to be to go with your heart. Pick your friends or family that support your relationship with your FI and won't give you any BS or drama. Hopefully that helps make your choices!
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