VENT - Being harassed by a stranger

abl13 · June 2015

I don't post here a whole lot but still like to come talk about weddings even though mine was 2 years ago. I want to vent to strangers about something that happened to me this morning.

We live in the suburbs and I was on my way to get on the highway to get to work. I was on a 4 lane road but there really wasn't anyone else driving near me going either way. This car cut me off and was going extremely slow, so I changed lanes to pass them and continued on (I did not tailgate them, make gestures, nothing). I have no idea why but they beeped at me as I passed and then they caught up to me at a light. It was one guy by himself and he was screaming at me and throwing shit at my car. I didn't engage him and had my windows up but I did look over at him and he continued to yell at me and then he reached down like he was going to pull out a gun then he laughed at my reaction and screamed obscenities. I was in the left lane so I had no where to go. I continued on as the light changed and there was still no one behind either of us but I was hoping someone would come up behind him so he would just go away. He then cut me off and would try to slam on his brakes like he was trying to get me to hit him. He had a really, really shitty car (holes in the metal where it rusted out and tons and tons of dents) and he was filthy and disgusting. I could not get in front of him to pass so I waited until we passed a side street and he was too far in front to turn and I turned at the last second and took off on a different way to work.

It just pisses me off that I literally did nothing to provoke it and this fucking guy can make me feel so unsafe. I wanted to go a specific route on my way to work and I couldn't because of him. It was almost like he was waiting to find someone to harass or trying to cause an accident that wouldn't be his fault. I wasn't thinking and didn't get his license plate # so I feel like it would be pointless to call the police. It's typically a busier part of town too and it seemed like no one else was out driving at that time. I'm just venting because I felt so helpless and I'm pissed that I let his actions control me. What would you have done?

sarawifenow · June 2015

Honestly, I would have done the same thing.

I'm sorry that you went through that. It can be really scary. You did the right thing by not engaging him. Sure, it would have been nice to get his plate #, but you took care of yourself and your safety which is what is important. I would just be a little extra alert on my drive the next couple of days if I were you. Not trying to scare you, but you never know with nut jobs like that.

Get yourself some wine and some ice cream when you get home!

[Deleted User] · June 2015

Holy crap. People are so disgusting sometimes. I have no idea what I would have done--probably exactly what you did. I'm sorry this happened to you, but I'm glad you are safe!

ohmrs2014 · June 2015

That sounds horrible. Sorry you had to go through that.

I have a bit of a temper, so I probably would have done the not so smart thing and reacted.

julieanne912 · June 2015

ohmrs2014 said:

That sounds horrible. Sorry you had to go through that.

I have a bit of a temper, so I probably would have done the not so smart thing and reacted.

This would have been me too. I would have started throwing shit back at him.

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

You can't explain crazy or get too worked up by it. This guy sounds like a total raging lunatic. No way should people like that be on the road.

abl13 · June 2015

Thanks, ladies! I felt so dumb afterwards for not really knowing what to do. If he started following me I was planning on pulling into the emergency room near the highway but thank god that didn't happen.

Lulawife · June 2015

Ugh that is scary and I'm sorry that happened to you but I do think you reacted in a good and safe way. Something similar happened to me in high school and I was too flustered and upset to react that way and he followed me all the way to my friends house where I then parked in the driveway. He blocked me in and got out of the car screaming. Thankfully my friend's mom came running out threatening to call the police and he left but from then on, I knew never to stop driving in those situations.

I agree with PP to keep an eye out the next few days. I doubt he will be looking specifically for you but he sounds like someone just looking to cause an accident.

novella1186 · June 2015

Ugh that's so scary. I'm glad you're ok.

If you end up seeing him again, I think it's worth a call to the police. There was a guy stalking a particular stretch of highway near where my parents live, acting really similar to the way you described your crazy guy. Everyone who regularly commuted on that highway was aware of him.

He ended up chasing after my friend's brother and shot him through his car window. [not trying to freak you out; I think incidents actually going this far are extremely rare and most of the time it's just some crazy asshole wanting to act out and ruin someone else's day]. Until then he hadn't actually shot or harmed anyone. It was crazy. Luckily people had reported his insane behavior so many times that the police knew exactly who had done it and found him/arrested him immediately. And my friend's brother luckily ended up being ok.

anjemon · June 2015

I probably would have done the exact same thing.

It really sucks that you had to go through that. It really sounds like he was trying to pick some sort of fight or get in an accident. You were really smart to not engage and to leave as soon as you could.

I never would have remembered to get plate numbers either, that's never a thought that crosses my mind. But I agree that you should keep your eyes open for crappy cars like the one you had to deal with, maybe if you see him again you can get plate numbers and report him.

beachyone15 · June 2015

That is terrifying - glad you're ok!

For the next few days could you take another route to work, or possibly leave earlier/later than your usual time?

RezIpsa · June 2015

Hopefully this never happens again, but just for others:

Call 911. Give them the plate number. They will dispatch a cop.

People are 1000000% crazy, especially on the road. You never, ever know if someone does have a weapon, if they are going to escalate, or what. Yelling and gestures is one thing. Throwing stuff at your car and then continuing ti engage with you is a whole different matter. You need 911 to have that plate number, and you need a cop, pronto.

abl13 · June 2015

novella1186 said:

Ugh that's so scary. I'm glad you're ok.

If you end up seeing him again, I think it's worth a call to the police. There was a guy stalking a particular stretch of highway near where my parents live, acting really similar to the way you described your crazy guy. Everyone who regularly commuted on that highway was aware of him.

He ended up chasing after my friend's brother and shot him through his car window. [not trying to freak you out; I think incidents actually going this far are extremely rare and most of the time it's just some crazy asshole wanting to act out and ruin someone else's day]. Until then he hadn't actually shot or harmed anyone. It was crazy. Luckily people had reported his insane behavior so many times that the police knew exactly who had done it and found him/arrested him immediately. And my friend's brother luckily ended up being ok.

Oh my gosh, that is terrifying! I am definitely going to be hyper aware of my surroundings for the next few days.

abl13 · June 2015

beachyone15 said:

That is terrifying - glad you're ok!

For the next few days could you take another route to work, or possibly leave earlier/later than your usual time?

Thank you, and yes, I'm definitely going to steer clear of that area for a while.

Jen4948 · June 2015

I'm glad you're safe.

I think getting away from this guy was the right course of action, although yes, getting his license number would have helped. I agree with avoiding the area where you were driving, or at least not driving there at the same time of day. If you do see him again, get his license number and report him to the police ASAP. If they can get him off the streets, they need that information.

MadHops21 · June 2015

I had a guy follow me around my town really closely, and I even went in circles around blocks to see if he was following me. I had my sister and friend in the car, so I drove to the fire station and sat in their big driveway. The guy was still behind me but kept driving on after I pulled into the fire station.

I saw a car get t-boned and flipped numerous times with a little kid in the car, thankfully everyone came out okay. Went to court as a witness since I called the police.

This is why I now have a dash cam in my car. People react differently when they see they're being recorded.

peachy13 · June 2015

Ah that's so scary and I'm so glad you're safe!

FiancB · June 2015

Ugh that sucks. I probably would've done the same. It's hard to think straight in that situation but if it happens again, hopefully you'll get a #. My friend had something really similar happen and the guy actually tried to follow her when she parked, but when he realized she had two huge dogs with her (one being a LGD so she would've happily ripped him apart), he backed off.

Pellegcm · June 2015

Not AS scary, but definitely invasive: I had a guy try to hit on me and my cousin on the way to my rehearsal dinner. While we were driving across the Bay Bridge. And he wouldn't leave us alone. I ended up doing what you did, pulling off at an exit once we were finally off the bridge to let him get far enough away that it wasn't an issue anymore.

People are ridiculous when driving. Stay in your lane, in all the ways it could possibly mean!

[Deleted User] · June 2015

I always have my cell phone within reach while driving (in case of emergency). I would have used the emergency button, called 911 and put them on speaker. The guy was being completely out of line and could have hurt you and others around you. I would have continued to try to get away from him, but I would have alerted police.

VENT - Being harassed by a stranger

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