Dear Prudence,
My sisters and I have been invited for the first time ever to the first three days of the annual “family vacation” our father and stepmother take each year with our three stepsisters, their spouses, and children. We’ve been excluded from this event for the past 20 years. Our father married our stepmother when we were in our teens; she was in her mid-20s. He allowed this jealous, materialistic, and emotionally abusive person to dictate the smallest details of life during our visits with him. Her own daughters were terrorized by her exacting demands and constant monitoring of their weight. Our father is a distant person, was barely involved in our lives growing up, and my memories of our childhood visits are unpleasant. Now that our dad has several grandchildren, he seems to long for more contact with us. My sisters think we should all make an effort to go on the trip to show we appreciate the invitation, but I’m not inclined to do so. It involves activities I don’t enjoy due to my very pale skin (swimming, jet-skiing, sunbathing), it takes place at an inconvenient time, and while some casual time with my dad would be nice I don’t relish the thought of enduring my stepmother’s binge-drinking, rude questions, and general pestering of everyone to do what she wants when she wants. Should I suck it up and go even though I know I won’t enjoy myself?