Pre-wedding Parties

planning rehearsal and ideas

So we haven't really planned the rehearsal and I have a TON of questions... 

Am I too late to plan it? How far in advance should it be held? Do invitations have to be sent out or can it be done word of mouth? Who hosts/pays for the food/beverage? 

We can't really afford a fancy dinner and were thinking of going to a pizza place. Now I know my family will side-eye it. If I tell my grandma she will offer to host it or something and we don't want her to help us because she and my mom have contributed enough already. She will also be one of the major criticizers of the informal and casual pizza place thing. 

Part of this is why we have kept procrastinating on the RD. 

So any advice and ideas are welcome! 


Re: planning rehearsal and ideas

  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We just did word of mouth for the rehearsal dinner. I think it's totally fine to do it casual like that. I'd be pleased with pizza. For my first rehearsal dinner, I hosted a BBQ at my parents' house. I cooked up some hot dogs and hamburgers. It was perfect. 

    JaniV123
  • I would totally do something like that BBQ but we dont live in the same town as where everything will be taking place so it will be hard. I still like the pizza idea a ton and would love to do that. 

    I will have to try not to let my grandma put me down about it

    Thanks climbing!


    climbingwife
  • JaniV123 said:

    So we haven't really planned the rehearsal and I have a TON of questions... 


    Am I too late to plan it? How far in advance should it be held? Do invitations have to be sent out or can it be done word of mouth? Who hosts/pays for the food/beverage? 

    We can't really afford a fancy dinner and were thinking of going to a pizza place. Now I know my family will side-eye it. If I tell my grandma she will offer to host it or something and we don't want her to help us because she and my mom have contributed enough already. She will also be one of the major criticizers of the informal and casual pizza place thing. 

    Part of this is why we have kept procrastinating on the RD. 

    So any advice and ideas are welcome! 
    I really think I'd love a casual pizza party so much more than a "fancier" event the night before a wedding.  I have trouble with too much "togetherness", so with a fancy sit-down thing on Saturday, I'd love casual pizza and beer thing on Friday.
    JaniV123
  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer

    When my BFF got married, they brought in pizzas that we just ate in the church basement after we were done rehearsing.

    For my sister's wedding, they hosted everyone at the groom's/groom's brother's house for a BBQ afterwards, very casual.  Hot dogs and hamburgers.

    We did a more 'formal' dinner after ours, at a very cool restaurant (open by private booking only).  It was only formal in that it was a sit-down meal. 

    All of these were by word of mouth, and were held right after the rehearsal, the night before the wedding.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
    JaniV123
  • Two of the three RDs that I have gone to have been at people's homes, one the bride and groom's (the bridal party was staying the night at the house, the groomsmen at one of the brothers in town), the other at the parent's of the bride where the bridal party was spending the night. The food was amazing, pizza, salad, and hors d'oeurves. The other RD that I went to at a restaurant, the food was terrible. The Grooms parents had picked the place without consulting anyone (they were from out of town, everyone else lived in the City) and picked a "fancy sounding" restaurant with terrible food. They could have save hundreds of dollars and gone a kilometre down the street to the pub and had way better food!

    All the RDs were, hey we're going here after the Rehearsal. Meet us in half an hour.
    JaniV123
  • Rehearsals aren't required. And they're often not necessary unless there's something complicated about the ceremony. AND if you have a rehearsal, you have to host something afterwards - whatever's appropriate for the time of day. My advice would be to skip it unless you think you really need it.

    If you decide to do it, you pay for it.

    Usually the rehearsal and RD are held the day before the wedding. It's not a rule, but it's usually done because of convenience for any OOT people. 

    Guests for the RD are: anyone involved in the rehearsal, immediate family, and everyone's SOs. It's your call if you extend invites past that. If you're on a tight budget, I wouldn't. 

    Invitations can be word of mouth, paper, evite, whatever.


    I'll be honest JaniV... you have so much drama with your wedding guest list, I wouldn't do this. It's just one more thing to add complication to an already complicated event. Plus you say you're on a tight budget. I just don't see the point.
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    JaniV123[Deleted User]
  • thanks @southern1905

    If we could skip it we probably would but some people have never been to or participated in weddings and it would make them less anxious to know what they have to do. We hired a DOC so maybe that could help us skip it? We haven't told anyone or made plans yet but are sculpting the idea so I want to have possibilities in case we decide for it. 

    As for guest list drama, I probably wont invite anyone from my dad's family or even him to the rehearsal since he wont be walking me down the aisle anymore.


  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I was in a wedding a few years ago where the rehearsal was the morning of the wedding. We had a quick rehearsal and a fast breakfast at the church, and then everyone parted ways to go get ready. It was just wedding party and parents. (S/O's were invited, but I don't think any of them came.) 

    If you really can't afford a dinner the night before, a breakfast/lunch on the morning of might be the more affordable option. 
    JaniV123
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    JaniV123 said:

    So we haven't really planned the rehearsal and I have a TON of questions... 


    Am I too late to plan it? How far in advance should it be held? Do invitations have to be sent out or can it be done word of mouth? Who hosts/pays for the food/beverage? 

    We can't really afford a fancy dinner and were thinking of going to a pizza place. Now I know my family will side-eye it. If I tell my grandma she will offer to host it or something and we don't want her to help us because she and my mom have contributed enough already. She will also be one of the major criticizers of the informal and casual pizza place thing. 

    Part of this is why we have kept procrastinating on the RD. 

    So any advice and ideas are welcome! 



    A causal pizza party sounds wonderful!

    If your grandmother tries to create unnecessary drama, you can reply, "Grandma, thanks, but this is what we wanted."

    JaniV123
  • tj&cwtj&cw member
    100 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    When we booked the venue I booked our rehearsal...because we were are having a Sunday wedding so I wanted to make sure that we were on the calendar. 

    I am really luck for the rehearsal dinner my FI's family is hosting it. We are having it at the restaurant we got engaged...we also had our first date there too.  Again they are being really nice and inviting all the family (in town and those coming for out of state). I think it is around 45 people. 

    I really wanted to do a BBQ and have something more laid back but FI wanted to have it at the restaurant. Again we know how lucky we are.

    In the past few months I have learnt to just smile at people and say "Thank you for your advice or suggestion....we will think about it" We keep telling ourselves that this is a once in a lifetime experience and we are going to enjoy it and try not to be stressed 

    Good Luck


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    JaniV123
  • I was in a wedding last year and the bride and groom got pressured into having a fancy rehearsal dinner by their families. Unfortuntalely their familes weren't willing to help pay.  They wanted a casual BBQ and their house but were told it was "tacky" by more than a few older family members.  I felt so bad for them as they did not have money to spend like that.  In the end they wished they did the BBQ instead.  Do the BBQ. I would have been much for comfortable hanging out at their house than in a crowded restaurant.

  • My future in-laws are hosting a rehearsal dinner at a local restaurant. Nothing too fancy, just pizza and pasta. I'm really looking forward to the relaxed, casual event. I don't think there is anything wrong with doing something casual and cost-friendly!
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