Dear Prudence,
At age 66, I believe I have met the person I have been looking for all of my life. I am twice divorced and “Art’s” first marriage also ended in divorce. His second wife of 15 years, Lucy, died a year before we met after a long illness. He is 75, and I consider myself unbelievably lucky to have met him—it was love at first sight and we are talking about marriage. But I can’t get past my concern over burial arrangements. There is a double headstone for him and his second wife with his name already engraved on it. We both are very healthy considering our ages, so we could be together for 20 years. The subject of burial actually came up early in our relationship when he was describing their headstone. When I voiced concern about where I would be buried, he said he has another space available there. I’m upset when I think about being buried alone, and I don’t know if I could bring myself to bury him beside Lucy if we end up having a longer marriage than theirs. I don’t want to do anything to mess up this chance at happiness for both of us, but I also don’t want to put myself in a situation I can’t handle. This could at least be partly affected by my horror at the thought of making another mistake in marriage. Since my last divorce, I have come close three times to remarrying but have been the one to run for the hills. What’s your advice?