Wedding Invitations & Paper

Avoiding no-shows??

Is there any way on the invitation, or otherwise, to avoid people RSVPing and not showing up because we are doing a pay per person wedding?
I know there is no way to avoid it completely, there will always be someone who says they will be there but won't show up. It's just our families are the type who have like potluck weddings and that type of thing where it isn't a pay per person ordeal, so they probably won't realize this is the type of wedding we are having...

Re: Avoiding no-shows??

  • No, sorry, there is no way to politely say "hey we are paying for you to eat so you better show up if you RSVP yes."  No shows ALWAYS happen.  Always.  There is no getting around it.  You just have to be prepared for it and hopefully you are budgeting accordingly so that when it does happen it isn't hurting you financially.

  • Just make sure you aren't asking for RSVPs too early.  3 weeks prior is really the furthest out I would ask for them and if your venue is requesting a final headcount any earlier then that then I would be pushing back on them hard to make that time frame smaller.

  • Nope. There is no way to avoid it. We had 12 people not show. It just happens. Just invite how many/who you can afford to host and have a great time.

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  • Unfortunately, no, there is no way to prevent no-showing.

    You're right, it's very rude to accept an invitation and not show up because it costs the hosts a lot of money to arrange for provisions for you that won't be used and because it builds up their expectation that they'll get to see you when they won't.

    But etiquette provides no polite means of preventing no-showing or of responding to it other than to not extend future invitations to no-showers.

  • Yeah, I didn't figure there was any way to say it anywhere...but asking for RSVP's not too early is a good tip, that could potentially help! Thank you!
  • Well, my grandmother called all her children and told them if they didn't show up to my wedding, they were out of her will.  Seriously.
    No, you don't want that kind of family drama.  Just enjoy your wedding, and forget about the per-person cost.  It doesn't matter.
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