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Uninvited guest just booked a hotel room for the wedding

peachy13peachy13 member
Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
in Chit Chat
Seriously. I called the hotel today to get an updated reservation list. Someone assumed they were invited and booked a fucking hotel room. Invitations haven't gone out yet but everyone we're inviting received a save the date which included our website which had all the hotel info. This person must have heard from another guest about booking the hotel, and went ahead and decided that they should book too. 
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I told my mom (this person is her friend, but not a really close friend who we were inviting), and she went "oh my, guess we have to invite her." My mom is financially taking care of her friends on the guest list so it's not a budget problem, we have extra space at the venue, and I know asking this uninvited person to cancel their hotel reservation would most likely be a friendship-ending move on my mom's part. The whole thing is just so awkward and weird. People are strange.
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Re: Uninvited guest just booked a hotel room for the wedding

  • charlottesmom0626charlottesmom0626 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary First Answer
    I mean you could technically pretend you didn't see the hotel room block, and not send an invite and she'll probably cancel the room...

    I think it depends on what happened. If your mom has talked about the wedding a few times to or in front of this person, I think it's not that weird for them to assume they might be invited.


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  • mikenbergermikenberger member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
    Well you don't have to ask her to do anything. You can just pretend you didn't see the hotel block. Send out your invites and when she doesn't get one, she's going to come across as rude and presumptuous when she asks "Where's my invite?". 

    I wouldn't mention a thing. I'd probably ask my mother to forget I told her anything about it as well.

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  • beachyone15beachyone15 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    Ugh, that's tough. I found out as RSVPs were coming in that we had 4 adult children coming that weren't invited (only their parents were). 4 extra people!!! And they had already bought plane tickets. Since we already had some declines and they had already made travel arrangements, I let it slide. But I tell you, that was my one "crazy" moment of wedding planning.

    I agree with PPs, if you don't send her an invite maybe she'll get the hint. You are still far enough out that things may change.


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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    That was pretty damn presumptuous of her to just go ahead and book a room. Especially considering she had to know that the hotel info came from an STD-- that she did not receive... right? I mean, presuming she heard the hotel info by word of mouth from an invited guest, did she not wonder how that guest knew all the details and she didn't? 

    Anyway, my point is that I don't think you need to invite her, and I don't think you need to feel bad about it. 
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    My opinion hedges on what your mom has told her friend. If mom has been blabbing all about the venue and hotel, then I'd say it's not presumptuous of the friend to assume she was invited.

    If mom never said anything and the friend got eh details from someone who got an actual STD, then she is being crazy.

    I tend to expect the former happened, not the latter. Or is mom posting on social media about the wedding?
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  • peachy13peachy13 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    photokitty said:
    My opinion hedges on what your mom has told her friend. If mom has been blabbing all about the venue and hotel, then I'd say it's not presumptuous of the friend to assume she was invited.

    If mom never said anything and the friend got eh details from someone who got an actual STD, then she is being crazy.

    I tend to expect the former happened, not the latter. Or is mom posting on social media about the wedding?


    There's about a 99% chance my mom talked to this person about my wedding. But I imagine that she would only be stating the basics like when and where, just like mentioning in small talk when catching up with someone. It's not like she called this person up to discuss exact details, and she definitely doesn't post on social media. 
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  • photokittyphotokitty mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    peachy13 said:
    photokitty said:
    My opinion hedges on what your mom has told her friend. If mom has been blabbing all about the venue and hotel, then I'd say it's not presumptuous of the friend to assume she was invited.

    If mom never said anything and the friend got eh details from someone who got an actual STD, then she is being crazy.

    I tend to expect the former happened, not the latter. Or is mom posting on social media about the wedding?


    There's about a 99% chance my mom talked to this person about my wedding. But I imagine that she would only be stating the basics like when and where, just like mentioning in small talk when catching up with someone. It's not like she called this person up to discuss exact details, and she definitely doesn't post on social media. 
    My guess would be mom went beyond the basics. Unless you have another guest that says the friend called up and asked what the STD said. Either way you don't have to invite her. Personally I would bc I wold be worried my mom said too much and it would be a friendship ending move. If she never spoke to the friend, I'd feel otherwise.

    GL!
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  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Ugh, so awkward! Sorry you're dealing with this.

    I had a now-ex-friend badger me about travel plans around when STDs went out. She wanted to book her plane ticket and everything. Even though I didn't even like her or want to be her friend anymore, it was still awkward as hell replying to her message to not bother with travel plans. 
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  • YogaSandyYogaSandy member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    I don't think you need to invite her.  I think if you do, it rewards the behaviour.  She wants to come, has not received a STD, books a room anyway.  Nope. Inviting her tells her this is OK. This is why people do things like this - it works to get them what they want.  Even if your mom talked about your wedding non-stop to this woman (which would be against etiquette since she is not invited), it is not your mother's wedding, so she shouldn't assume she is invited.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    Moderator 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    My first thought was that your mom might be the culprit here. It'd be pretty brazen for this woman to take info from someone else's STD (which she did not receive) and just book a hotel room out of no where. I mean, maybe but...

    Anyway, it sounds like your mom does want to invite her, she's paying and you have space. But yea..totally odd.
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  • PamBeesly524PamBeesly524 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    This happened to us... one of H's cousins booked a room, not only for her and her husband but for her child as well. We had already sent out STD's but we didn't invite any cousins on that side of H's family. It was awkward, but we had to explain that we were only inviting aunts and uncles, and the room was cancelled. 
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  • knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226knottie9c5ed33df4bbd226 member
    Ninth Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Combo Breaker
    That is so strange! I also think it's a little sad-this person thinks they're close enough to be invited to the wedding and was excited enough to book a hotel early and they aren't even invited! I think whatever you decide to do will be fine, possibly just a little awkward!
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