Chit Chat

need to vent- photography

Several months ago I posted about issues I had with my wedding photographer. We were married in September, got half my photos posted online in December (a month past contract time), and in January we disputed half our credit card charges. I eventually got her to send me the high-res photos of the half she'd done. Those, I transferred to my computer and Snapfish and made an album. 

I'm still bitter about only having half my photos. There were great moments during the reception I wish were captured! In January, thanks to Yelp, I met two other couples who hadn't gotten anything. One was moving to sue; the other was disputing charges. All of us tried BBB, the Consumer Protection Bureau, and the Attorney General. Then, a month or so ago, someone else contacted me through Yelp that they didn't get what was owed. Now, someone else has contacted me and put up another very detailed review... They sued her and the bitch didn't even show up to court this week!!

This bitch didn't just take the money and disappear like a proper scam artist... she just changed careers. She's doing stand-up comedy at big venues in this city and working a normal 9-5 corporate job now. She's out and about suffering NO consequences of her actions. Six couples screwed over that I know of; how many more??

I should be lucky I got half my photos and half my money back (and oh, from the middleman company she used to take payments--- not from her specifically, we had to argue with that company!!), but I can't let go of this anger that she's showing no remorse and suffering no retribution. If the two other couples successfully sue her, her wages will be garnished for whatever they're awarded. That much I know. DH and I decided not to sue, even in small claims, because you can't get blood from a stone after all. 

I don't know how to let go of this anger. We had an amazing wedding, and the photos I have in my album are beautiful (I'm one of those that geek out over photography and an album was very important to me). But every time I see the album and our framed photos, I think of her.

I had talked to a male lawyer at one point and he commented, "I can't really prove pain and suffering to a judge over wedding photos," and I just wanted to yell, "Really?" Aside from the birth of a child, a wedding day really is one of the most, if not the most happiest day of your life. This bullshit is distressing. 

Just needed to let this out to other brides and OMHs. I need to get over this somehow. 

Thanks for listening...!
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Re: need to vent- photography

  • Can you sue her for the raw images at least? So you can get the photos?
    Anniversary
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  • I can't begin to know how this feels, but imagine it's pretty bad.  Photography is important to me too; it's something that "lasts" after the day is done.  I am pretty unlikely to wear my dress again, I will have my wedding band, but other than that, most other things are consumed or gone after the wedding day; photos are a great remembrance of it all...

    That said, continuing to be angry about it may start to poison your good memories.  Every time you start to think about her and your loss when you look at the photos you have, make a conscious effort to stop the thought and replace it w/ a good memory of the day You can develop a new habit.  (Hell, my ex robbed me, stole my identity and opened credit cards in my name, and boinked someone else and had a kid w/ her; if I can move on from being mad and hurt by all of that, I'm confident you can move on from this anger).

    I know they're not professional quality, but can you get family photos from the reception to see if some of your favorite moments might have been captured by one of them?  Some photo is better than none, IMO.

    Good luck.
  • If it makes you feel better, my grandparents had 3 pictures taken at their wedding. I have the original of my favorite. I've never once felt like I needed to see images from the reception. You can have a long and happy marriage without a bunch of images...and that's something us photographers never want anyone to realize. Trade secret right there!

    She sucks. Unfortunately, you were lucky to get half your images and half your money. Wedding photogs can be some of the worst people on earth if they are unethical. I'm sorry this happened to you.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:



  • That said, continuing to be angry about it may start to poison your good memories.  Every time you start to think about her and your loss when you look at the photos you have, make a conscious effort to stop the thought and replace it w/ a good memory of the day You can develop a new habit.  (Hell, my ex robbed me, stole my identity and opened credit cards in my name, and boinked someone else and had a kid w/ her; if I can move on from being mad and hurt by all of that, I'm confident you can move on from this anger).

    This is really good advice Feeley, thanks!

    .... I actually might show up at her show. I see her scheduled for July 20.... Hmmmm

    I'm LOLing at PhotoKitty's trade secret... and you're totally right. I'm normally not even a grudge-holder. This has absolutely no bearing on our happy marriage! 
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  • I might slip to the couples who did win, that if she doesn't pay, instead of wage garnishment I would go with an involuntary bankruptcy.  That would get her attention!  See, when people owe you money and don't pay - you can force them into bankruptcy to pay you.  By doing it that way, you ruin her credit.  Whoops! 

    Have any of you tried to contact a news outlets?  Now that you also have people who have successfully won a suit against her, the news may be more interested in the story.  They can show up to her next stand-up comedy gig and ask her about the lack of photos to couples.

  • That's awful that she did that to so many people. What a horrible bitch. I totally understand being upset about it, but at some point you have to let it go for your sake. 

    I'm paraphrasing Oprah, but I believe her quote is "Being angry at someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die." 

    When I would get wrapped up in bad thoughts (like re-hashing in my head everything that went wrong with a particular incident or something like that) I would interrupt it by thinking, "let it go, let it go, let it go." and then I'd make a conscious effort to think of something positive. It was a process but it finally stopped bothering me, and now I don't care anymore at all. 
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  • Several months ago I posted about issues I had with my wedding photographer. We were married in September, got half my photos posted online in December (a month past contract time), and in January we disputed half our credit card charges. I eventually got her to send me the high-res photos of the half she'd done. Those, I transferred to my computer and Snapfish and made an album. 

    I'm still bitter about only having half my photos. There were great moments during the reception I wish were captured! In January, thanks to Yelp, I met two other couples who hadn't gotten anything. One was moving to sue; the other was disputing charges. All of us tried BBB, the Consumer Protection Bureau, and the Attorney General. Then, a month or so ago, someone else contacted me through Yelp that they didn't get what was owed. Now, someone else has contacted me and put up another very detailed review... They sued her and the bitch didn't even show up to court this week!!

    This bitch didn't just take the money and disappear like a proper scam artist... she just changed careers. She's doing stand-up comedy at big venues in this city and working a normal 9-5 corporate job now. She's out and about suffering NO consequences of her actions. Six couples screwed over that I know of; how many more??

    I should be lucky I got half my photos and half my money back (and oh, from the middleman company she used to take payments--- not from her specifically, we had to argue with that company!!), but I can't let go of this anger that she's showing no remorse and suffering no retribution. If the two other couples successfully sue her, her wages will be garnished for whatever they're awarded. That much I know. DH and I decided not to sue, even in small claims, because you can't get blood from a stone after all. 

    I don't know how to let go of this anger. We had an amazing wedding, and the photos I have in my album are beautiful (I'm one of those that geek out over photography and an album was very important to me). But every time I see the album and our framed photos, I think of her.

    I had talked to a male lawyer at one point and he commented, "I can't really prove pain and suffering to a judge over wedding photos," and I just wanted to yell, "Really?" Aside from the birth of a child, a wedding day really is one of the most, if not the most happiest day of your life. This bullshit is distressing. 

    Just needed to let this out to other brides and OMHs. I need to get over this somehow. 

    Thanks for listening...!
    Yeah, but compared to the pain and suffering of being in a debilitating accident or being harmed due to malpractice, legally I can see how that's not a good angle.

    Can't sge be legally compelled to turn over the rest of your photos?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Novella, also great advice. These are positive thinking tricks I need to employ to get past this. If I were the only person this happened to I think I'd be over it by now; it's the fact that she screwed over so many people.

    PrettyGirlLost you're right too; the lawyer's point was that there are no damages besides what we actually paid her plus attorney fees. He was more making the point that you don't get punitive damages for something like this, but the way he said  it...!

    The way all the attorneys (2 I talked to and what I heard from the other couples who talked to attorneys) put it was that the monetary damages would be it; they really couldn't compel her to complete the contract. 

    I'd also feel better if she'd just lost everyone's photos. Mistakes happen, willfully wronging everyone is shit.

    Let it go... let it go... let it go....
    ________________________________


  • Several months ago I posted about issues I had with my wedding photographer. We were married in September, got half my photos posted online in December (a month past contract time), and in January we disputed half our credit card charges. I eventually got her to send me the high-res photos of the half she'd done. Those, I transferred to my computer and Snapfish and made an album. 

    I'm still bitter about only having half my photos. There were great moments during the reception I wish were captured! In January, thanks to Yelp, I met two other couples who hadn't gotten anything. One was moving to sue; the other was disputing charges. All of us tried BBB, the Consumer Protection Bureau, and the Attorney General. Then, a month or so ago, someone else contacted me through Yelp that they didn't get what was owed. Now, someone else has contacted me and put up another very detailed review... They sued her and the bitch didn't even show up to court this week!!

    This bitch didn't just take the money and disappear like a proper scam artist... she just changed careers. She's doing stand-up comedy at big venues in this city and working a normal 9-5 corporate job now. She's out and about suffering NO consequences of her actions. Six couples screwed over that I know of; how many more??

    I should be lucky I got half my photos and half my money back (and oh, from the middleman company she used to take payments--- not from her specifically, we had to argue with that company!!), but I can't let go of this anger that she's showing no remorse and suffering no retribution. If the two other couples successfully sue her, her wages will be garnished for whatever they're awarded. That much I know. DH and I decided not to sue, even in small claims, because you can't get blood from a stone after all. 

    I don't know how to let go of this anger. We had an amazing wedding, and the photos I have in my album are beautiful (I'm one of those that geek out over photography and an album was very important to me). But every time I see the album and our framed photos, I think of her.

    I had talked to a male lawyer at one point and he commented, "I can't really prove pain and suffering to a judge over wedding photos," and I just wanted to yell, "Really?" Aside from the birth of a child, a wedding day really is one of the most, if not the most happiest day of your life. This bullshit is distressing. 

    Just needed to let this out to other brides and OMHs. I need to get over this somehow. 

    Thanks for listening...!
    Yeah, but compared to the pain and suffering of being in a debilitating accident or being harmed due to malpractice, legally I can see how that's not a good angle.

    Can't sge be legally compelled to turn over the rest of your photos?
    Only if the photog has them. She might have lost them, never taken them or had an equipment fail - among other disasters. But since OP got half her money back and half the photos, probably not. Most contracts - especially ones for large companies that use language that says they are only responsible for the amount paid for the services. So legally they don't have to give you the images if they refund your money.

    Larger companies like...oh wait I can't say their name bc they have previously refuted my opinion and forced TK's legal dept to edit my post...have lawyers that make sure their contracts are solid.
    :kiss: ~xoxo~ :kiss:

  • Novella, also great advice. These are positive thinking tricks I need to employ to get past this. If I were the only person this happened to I think I'd be over it by now; it's the fact that she screwed over so many people.

    PrettyGirlLost you're right too; the lawyer's point was that there are no damages besides what we actually paid her plus attorney fees. He was more making the point that you don't get punitive damages for something like this, but the way he said  it...!

    The way all the attorneys (2 I talked to and what I heard from the other couples who talked to attorneys) put it was that the monetary damages would be it; they really couldn't compel her to complete the contract. 

    I'd also feel better if she'd just lost everyone's photos. Mistakes happen, willfully wronging everyone is shit.

    Let it go... let it go... let it go....
    The bolded-- I totally get it. I was royally screwed over by a rental company several years ago. It was a fucking nightmare. Then I researched them online and found tons of other complaints against them with the BBB and online reviews where people wrote about the exact same thing being done to them by the same rental company. I filed a report with the state attorney general and whatnot, but nothing was ever done against them. 

    The fact that they were still out there doing this to tons of other people was what really got me. I couldn't stand it. I tried to write online reviews about them as well because I thought the least I could do was try to warn other people, but the rental company threatened to sue me for writing negative (but 100% honest and accurate) things about them. And then they had all the reviews removed, or wrote tons and tons of fake positive reviews to bury the bad ones. They even called my parents and threatened them. They were psychos. And no repercussions! 

    That's why I try to never be a shitty person. I'm honest, I'm not rude, I treat people fairly, I tip well, I let people go in line in front of me at the grocery store, I let an elderly man cut me in line at the DMV today. I mean it's not much, but I figure with so many unethical, shitty people in the world screwing other people over and doing shitty things, the least I can do is try to balance it out and not ever be the bad part of someone's day. I mean at least I try. 

    You can't stop shitty people from being shitty, but you can cancel them out by being the opposite of them. That's how I look at it. 
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  • Do you have any wood to chop? Or plates to throw? Sometimes when I get angry and positive thinking is working but I just have to DO something I go and do something physical. Sometimes its running, sometimes its strapping on some gloves and hitting FI's bag, sometimes its destroying something (like wood-never anything that is valuable or would be missed). Doing that is healthier than carrying around anger I can't express appropriately while I'm working on changing memories/reactions/behaviors to more positive ones. Of course, that won't work for everyone!
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