I have no idea where the last 2 months went. H and I got married and then I guess I had to start actually doing 'work' at my job again since I could no longer blame wedding brain for my lack of productivity. I lurked (creeped) every now and then to check in with you lovely people, but never got the chance to post. SO I'm BACK! and I missed you all so much!!!
What made me come back today was a comment my H (yay!!) made to me at a wedding we went to this past weekend. It was horrible, and he said, "I can't wait to read your review of this on the knot." and then my heart got all sad because I realized how long it had been since I'd been on here. So, let me tell you about a wedding I went to this past weekend, in bullet form:
-The bride invited over 500 people. Cool. But she got married in a church that held about 90 people. H and I arrived about 20 minutes before start-time, and her coordinator was instructing the ushers (who weren't groomsmen, they were actual 'Ushers') to close the doors 10 minutes to start-time, and after the bride enters the church, they can re-open the doors and allow people to stand on the porch so they can see inside. I was like WTF. IF I HAVE TO STAND OUTSIDE WE ARE LEAVING! So H hushed me and we went on inside, since we had beat the deadline, and found our places STANDING by the wall. I was contemplating how unladylike it would be, and whether I cared, if I removed my heels when this nice gentleman offered me his seat.
-The ceremony was like 30 minutes long. Now I'm a little biased because mine and H's ceremony was like 10 mintues, tops, but this chick took 30 minutes to get married while 40 people were standing watching her do it, because there weren't enough seats.
-The reception was outdoors, with no tent. Luckily, it was gorgeous outside, until about an hour into the actual reception when a huge dark cloud appeared and it began thundering and lightning, and H goes, "Uh, I'm not about to get my truck stuck in that field they had us park in when it starts raining" so we GTFO of there.
-The wedding was at dinnertime, and they served vegetables (like carrots and broccoli to dip in dressing), sandwiches, and crackers, with tea and water. Obviously H and I stopped for pizza on the way home. But that's okay because...
-There wasn't enough seating at the reception. There was enough seating for 50 people, tops.
Those were the biggest problems for me, though I was side-eyeing the shit out of a whole mess of other stuff. Btw, this was a wedding for a family member. Lurkers: IF YOU THINK YOUR FAMILY DOESN'T MIND THEY DO. They may smile and congratulate you, but they will talk shit about your wedding!
Okay I'm done, love and missed you all! 
ETF: Spelling, because I got all excited and didn't proofread before posting.