Subtle Seating Ques?

harman2015 · June 2015

So I am having some trouble here and need some help and advice from other brides.

My fiance and I are having our wedding in a very nice event barn. It has a rustic feel and is fairly laid back. It is buffet style, and not super formal, which I feel does not warrant a seating arrangement.

However, our venue has a loft. which requires us to have at least 8 tables of our 18 to be up top due to spacial issues.

I am trying to figure out how to get the point across to people who are able to please sit in the loft, and leave the ground level seats to those who are physically handicapped or unable to make it up the stairs for other reasons, whatever they may be.

We have too many people that would ABSOLUTELY require a ground level seat to put "reserved" signs on tables just for those people.

Please let me know if you have any feed back.
Thank you in advance!

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

harman2015 said:

So I am having some trouble here and need some help and advice from other brides.

My fiance and I are having our wedding in a very nice event barn. It has a rustic feel and is fairly laid back. It is buffet style, and not super formal, which I feel does not warrant a seating arrangement.

However, our venue has a loft. which requires us to have at least 8 tables of our 18 to be up top due to spacial issues.

I am trying to figure out how to get the point across to people who are able to please sit in the loft, and leave the ground level seats to those who are physically handicapped or unable to make it up the stairs for other reasons, whatever they may be.

We have too many people that would ABSOLUTELY require a ground level seat to put "reserved" signs on tables just for those people.

Please let me know if you have any feed back.
Thank you in advance!

For your situation, you really should do a seating chart. You don't have to tell people exactly what place to sit in, just assign tables.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

Honestly, if you couldn't fit everyone in the main level then you should have gone with another venue. But that ship has sailed.

I suggest you assign tables and those tables be filled with friends/family who you have talked to and made sure that they are capable of making the stairs.

beachyone15 · June 2015

Agree with PPs. It sounds like in this case, you really do need a seating chart.

harman2015 · June 2015

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

OliveOilsMom · June 2015

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

And PP told you how to handle seating. Create a seating chart and assign people tables. But make sure you know that everyone who you assign to be upstairs is capable of using the steps.

photokitty · June 2015

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

How would I handle it? I would lose my deposit and find a venue that properly accommodated all my guests. A "very nice" venue would have an elevator to a loft space they used for seating guests.

After that option I would sit myself and my bridal party up in the loft to reduce the number of guests I inconvenienced. And if I was saving any space on the first floor for a dance floor I would get rid of it and forget about dancing.

ETA - a would most definitely have a plated meal!! Are you seriously going to have guests climb stairs carrying food and drinks??? I would definitely find a new venue - that is what I would do, since you asked.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

Pointing out where you made a planning mistake is actually helpful. It will prevent you from making further mistakes where your guests comfort is a concern. You should have thought about the fact that 8 tables (that is a lot) would have to be placed up in the loft BEFORE you booked this place. But you didn't, because maybe it didn't occur to you or maybe the venue met your vision or whatever. But now you have to deal with this by thinking of your guests first. Which is why you need to talk to every person you consider putting up there. I like Photokittys suggestion of putting you and your wedding party up there because then you don't have to ask too many of your guests. But then I could also see a lot of your guests feeling like they are being isolated from you and thinking they aren't as good as the chosen who got to sit with you in the loft. At least if you talk to each person that you want to put up there they know that they will be away from the action, so to speak, rather then it being a surprise when they get there.

AddieCake · June 2015

I had split seating at my wedding and regret it in hindsight. I don't care that you didn't ask my opinion on that. As for your question, you should assign tables.

southernbelle0915 · June 2015

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

People can post whatever they want. Just like you can post whatever you want.

People DID tell you how to handle it. Assign tables. And that's coming from someone who had open seating at their wedding. There's a time and a place, but you picked a venue that doesn't work for open seating.

You're welcome by the way.

redoryx · June 2015

photokitty said:

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

How would I handle it? I would lose my deposit and find a venue that properly accommodated all my guests. A "very nice" venue would have an elevator to a loft space they used for seating guests.

After that option I would sit myself and my bridal party up in the loft to reduce the number of guests I inconvenienced. And if I was saving any space on the first floor for a dance floor I would get rid of it and forget about dancing.

ETA - a would most definitely have a plated meal!! Are you seriously going to have guests climb stairs carrying food and drinks??? I would definitely find a new venue - that is what I would do, since you asked.

Yeah, I would not be happy as a guest if I had to deal with that.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

redoryx said:

photokitty said:

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

How would I handle it? I would lose my deposit and find a venue that properly accommodated all my guests. A "very nice" venue would have an elevator to a loft space they used for seating guests.

After that option I would sit myself and my bridal party up in the loft to reduce the number of guests I inconvenienced. And if I was saving any space on the first floor for a dance floor I would get rid of it and forget about dancing.

ETA - a would most definitely have a plated meal!! Are you seriously going to have guests climb stairs carrying food and drinks??? I would definitely find a new venue - that is what I would do, since you asked.

Yeah, I would not be happy as a guest if I had to deal with that.

Oh gosh, I didn't even think of that! Yeah, logistically this is kind of a nightmare.

OP, since changing the venue is probably a no go, then you may have to change from a buffet to a served dinner.

ShesSoCold · June 2015

Yeah I'm going to have to agree with PPs here. You shouldn't have picked a venue that cannot accommodate your guest list. "Vision" should NEVER trump comfort. I like PP's suggestion of you and your BP and family sitting up there. If you can't change to a plated meal, at the very least, hire servers to carry your guests' plates of food up the stairs for them.

Maggie0829 · June 2015

ShesSoCold said:

Yeah I'm going to have to agree with PPs here. You shouldn't have picked a venue that cannot accommodate your guest list. "Vision" should NEVER trump comfort. I like PP's suggestion of you and your BP and family sitting up there. If you can't change to a plated meal, at the very least, hire servers to carry your guests' plates of food up the stairs for them.

Or have a smaller buffet placed up in the loft.

Wegl13 · June 2015

Is switching that area to the dance area an option? I assume that if people are nimble enough to dance they can make it up the stairs.... At least that way your family wouldn't be divided up (which just sounds hella awkward).

climbingsingle · June 2015

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

You need to do a seating chart and assign people to tables. It's not that hard to figure out.

Also, I'd be really pissed off if I had to walk up and down stairs with drinks and food. Not cool.

novella1186 · June 2015

OP, as a guest I would not appreciate being separated from the main floor. I would also not appreciate having to carry my food and drinks up there from the buffet. I also don't like the idea of having to climb up into a loft in front of tons of people while wearing a dress and heels (depending on how these stairs are, whenever I'm on stairs in a dress, I feel like the people below can see my underwear and it is not a good feeling)

I agree with PPs. You need to assign tables.

Make sure the people who are assigned to the loft are fully capable of easily getting up there, and give them a heads up. If I knew ahead of time that I'd be forced to go up and down stairs all night, I'd choose my shoes (and maybe even my dress and undergarments) accordingly. (i.e. the shorter cocktail dress with a thong is not happening, but that's just me. Maybe I'm weird).

Hire staff to carry drinks and plates up there, as PP suggested.

Or, as Wegl said, figure out a way to get all the tables onto the main floor. If that means moving the dance floor, then do it. As of now, you have nearly half your guests climbing into a loft. That sucks.

I know this is not the advice you were looking for, but frankly there was a lapse in judgement here, and your guests shouldn't have to pay the price for that.

sarahufl · June 2015

Yeah, you need to have food and bars in the upstairs area. Or figure out how to avoid using it.

I would be pissed.

[Deleted User] · June 2015

sarahufl said:

Yeah, you need to have food and bars in the upstairs area. Or figure out how to avoid using it.

I would be pissed.

Yep, if I was subjected to the loft, there better be a buffet and bar up there. If there was, I'd just stay up there, hidden in a corner, with my friends, and snark on the nonsense it was of having us sequestered upstairs, and just eat and drink and snark all night. If there wasn't a bar and a buffet up there, I'd eat, have a drink, and leave; because obviously I'm not really wanted there.

STARMOON44 · June 2015

Obviously you need to assign seats. I don't understand how you think a subtle seating cue solves this.

anjemon · June 2015

I'm not sure if you're still reading OP, but I had split seating too. Our venue had a main floor and an upper balcony. I was a little worried people would feel like I was trying to shunt them away upstairs, so I did a few things to counteract that 1. ) we had a bar upstairs so they all could easily get drinks 2. ) H and I sat at a sweetheart balcony about halfway between the two levels 3. ) the bridal party was seated upstairs.

It pretty much ended up that all the older friends and family were seated downstairs and all the younger family and friends were seated upstairs. I didn't hear anybody have any issues with it (although we all know nobody would mention it to me) but try and make sure there are other areas for the upstairs people to sit once dancing starts. After dinner the upper tables were pretty much deserted (with a few people playing games) and people mingled downstairs in the bar area which had additional seating when they weren't on the dance floor.

I also agree with PP's that having a seating assignment is the best plan. It might seem slightly formal, but you can do something more casual than escort cards to try and make it fit the feel you want. And a smaller buffet or plated meals are a good idea because I agree that people trying to carry food up and down the stairs might be problematic.

jacques27 · June 2015

Add me to the list of people who would be pissed to be relegated upstairs in the first place, particularly with no warning (because I'd probably wear flats instead of heels for starters) and would DEFINITELY be pissed if upstairs was not exactly the same as downstairs (meaning having the exact same buffet and bar options available to me in my section) and had to carry my food and drink up the stairs.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

harman2015 said:

So I am having some trouble here and need some help and advice from other brides.

My fiance and I are having our wedding in a very nice event barn. It has a rustic feel and is fairly laid back. It is buffet style, and not super formal, which I feel does not warrant a seating arrangement.

However, our venue has a loft. which requires us to have at least 8 tables of our 18 to be up top due to spacial issues.

I am trying to figure out how to get the point across to people who are able to please sit in the loft, and leave the ground level seats to those who are physically handicapped or unable to make it up the stairs for other reasons, whatever they may be.

We have too many people that would ABSOLUTELY require a ground level seat to put "reserved" signs on tables just for those people.

Please let me know if you have any feed back.
Thank you in advance!

Then you need to have assigned seating.

PrettyGirlLost · June 2015

photokitty said:

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

How would I handle it? I would lose my deposit and find a venue that properly accommodated all my guests. A "very nice" venue would have an elevator to a loft space they used for seating guests.

After that option I would sit myself and my bridal party up in the loft to reduce the number of guests I inconvenienced. And if I was saving any space on the first floor for a dance floor I would get rid of it and forget about dancing.

ETA - a would most definitely have a plated meal!! Are you seriously going to have guests climb stairs carrying food and drinks??? I would definitely find a new venue - that is what I would do, since you asked.

This is a great suggestion. I realize that the majority of people will not eat the costs of a deposit, especially if the wedding is within 1 month to 3 months, in which case you would be liable for the entire cost of the reception- totally unrealistic.

JoanE2012 · June 2015

photokitty said:

harman2015 said:

With all do respect, I didnt ask for anyones opinion on the venue, I asked how you would handle the seating. Thanks.

How would I handle it? I would lose my deposit and find a venue that properly accommodated all my guests. A "very nice" venue would have an elevator to a loft space they used for seating guests.

After that option I would sit myself and my bridal party up in the loft to reduce the number of guests I inconvenienced. And if I was saving any space on the first floor for a dance floor I would get rid of it and forget about dancing.

ETA - a would most definitely have a plated meal!! Are you seriously going to have guests climb stairs carrying food and drinks??? I would definitely find a new venue - that is what I would do, since you asked.

All of this!

missxasia · June 2015

I went to a wedding reception like this. When I first noticed we were seated upstairs, my first thought was "Were we really wanted here?" Then we had no clue as to what was going on downstairs half the time. We had to walk down the stairs to the buffet (wasn't much food left neither). But carrying food and drink back up the stairs in heels and a dress probably irritated me the most... Especially after driving two hours in rush hour traffic and walking in to a cash bar.

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