Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Rehearsal Dinner

When me and my partner are hosting our own rehearsal dinner, do we include the bridal's parties other half to the dinner invite? Or is it only for wedding party only? I just want to make sure that I am not singling out their other half or intruding if inviting..not sure which route to go and could sue some advice. I have 5 girls on my side and she has her two sisters and two sisters husbands on her side! 
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Re: Rehearsal Dinner

  • Yes, you have to invite everyone's significant others (boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, partner of any length of time, etc).

    Formerly martha1818

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  • @lovegood90 thanks for that. I was not sure if that was proper or what was not proper :) 
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  • edited March 2015

    Invite the bridal party plus their SO. Now I believe if you have a bridal party member who is single & you gave them a +1 for the wedding so they could have company, you don't need to give them a +1 for the rehersal dinner though.

  • Erikan73 said:

    Invite the bridal party plus their SO. Now I believe if you have a bridal party member who is single & you gave them a +1 for the wedding so they could have company, you don't need to give them a +1 for the rehersal dinner though.

    Really?  I think that's really crappy - if you gave them a plus one for the wedding and they brought someone you're not going to let them come to the rehearsal?  What if they're dating now?  

    You absolutely don't have to give truly single people a plus one to your wedding, but if you do and that person is invited to the rehearsal I would absolutely be consistent and invite their plus one to the rehearsal as well. 

    P.S.  if you invited them with a plus one to the wedding and they're not bringing someone, I dont' think you need to specify "plus one" or not for the rehearsal. 
  • I was in a wedding where the couple did not let the bridal party bring their SOs to the rehearsal dinner and everyone was PISSED at them. I would definitely allow it.
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  • wow, yeah that's some really good feedback. All the wedding rehearsals I been to have been so non traditional. I am having a very traditional wedding and want to ensure I do not exclude anyone or offend anyone. I love all my friends :)
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  • Casadena said:

    Erikan73 said:

    Invite the bridal party plus their SO. Now I believe if you have a bridal party member who is single & you gave them a +1 for the wedding so they could have company, you don't need to give them a +1 for the rehersal dinner though.

    Really?  I think that's really crappy - if you gave them a plus one for the wedding and they brought someone you're not going to let them come to the rehearsal?  What if they're dating now?  

    You absolutely don't have to give truly single people a plus one to your wedding, but if you do and that person is invited to the rehearsal I would absolutely be consistent and invite their plus one to the rehearsal as well. 

    P.S.  if you invited them with a plus one to the wedding and they're not bringing someone, I dont' think you need to specify "plus one" or not for the rehearsal. 
    If they're dating now, they aren't in the plus one category. Then they'd be a s/o situation, and you have to invite them. This is not about that. 

    Unless the WP member is travelling to the wedding, I see no reason that you have to include the +1 for truly single guests to the RD, even if singles are getting +1s for the wedding. Of course, if they're travelling, it's a different story. 

    As someone who has both been a date to a wedding and taken a date to a wedding, I would have never expected to take/be a date a the RD. Frankly, as the +1, I wouldn't have wanted to spend two nights at wedding events for a couple that I didn't know well. 
  • If i'm not invited with my SO, I don't go. I like to do to others what I would want done. Inviting the SO is the right, proper & kind thing to do. I would & did extend the RD invite to include singles with +1's b/c I've been single before & well, being alienated sucks. Not having a date when everyone does sucks. Def invite all people who are in relationships/married etc with a date. Single people with a +1 isnt necessary but it's a really nice thing to do.
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  • Casadena said:

    Erikan73 said:

    Invite the bridal party plus their SO. Now I believe if you have a bridal party member who is single & you gave them a +1 for the wedding so they could have company, you don't need to give them a +1 for the rehersal dinner though.

    Really?  I think that's really crappy - if you gave them a plus one for the wedding and they brought someone you're not going to let them come to the rehearsal?  What if they're dating now?  

    You absolutely don't have to give truly single people a plus one to your wedding, but if you do and that person is invited to the rehearsal I would absolutely be consistent and invite their plus one to the rehearsal as well. 

    P.S.  if you invited them with a plus one to the wedding and they're not bringing someone, I dont' think you need to specify "plus one" or not for the rehearsal. 
    If they're dating now, they aren't in the plus one category. Then they'd be a s/o situation, and you have to invite them. This is not about that. 

    Unless the WP member is travelling to the wedding, I see no reason that you have to include the +1 for truly single guests to the RD, even if singles are getting +1s for the wedding. Of course, if they're travelling, it's a different story. 

    As someone who has both been a date to a wedding and taken a date to a wedding, I would have never expected to take/be a date a the RD. Frankly, as the +1, I wouldn't have wanted to spend two nights at wedding events for a couple that I didn't know well. 




    And that's absolutely your choice not to go, but it's also absolutely rude that a couple doesn't invite you if you are the date of someone invited to the rehearsal.
  • Casadena said:

    Casadena said:

    Erikan73 said:

    Invite the bridal party plus their SO. Now I believe if you have a bridal party member who is single & you gave them a +1 for the wedding so they could have company, you don't need to give them a +1 for the rehersal dinner though.

    Really?  I think that's really crappy - if you gave them a plus one for the wedding and they brought someone you're not going to let them come to the rehearsal?  What if they're dating now?  

    You absolutely don't have to give truly single people a plus one to your wedding, but if you do and that person is invited to the rehearsal I would absolutely be consistent and invite their plus one to the rehearsal as well. 

    P.S.  if you invited them with a plus one to the wedding and they're not bringing someone, I dont' think you need to specify "plus one" or not for the rehearsal. 
    If they're dating now, they aren't in the plus one category. Then they'd be a s/o situation, and you have to invite them. This is not about that. 

    Unless the WP member is travelling to the wedding, I see no reason that you have to include the +1 for truly single guests to the RD, even if singles are getting +1s for the wedding. Of course, if they're travelling, it's a different story. 

    As someone who has both been a date to a wedding and taken a date to a wedding, I would have never expected to take/be a date a the RD. Frankly, as the +1, I wouldn't have wanted to spend two nights at wedding events for a couple that I didn't know well. 




    And that's absolutely your choice not to go, but it's also absolutely rude that a couple doesn't invite you if you are the date of someone invited to the rehearsal.
    No, it's not. Plus ones for single guests are absolutely never required.  
  • Plus ones =/= SOs.

    Plus ones are never required.  Period.  Just because the couple extends you a plus one to the wedding does not mean that they have to extend the same courtesy at their RD.  These are two separate events with two very different purposes and guest lists.

  • SOs, definitely. 

    The issue I can see with comparing wedding and RD as far as +1s go is that often these are being paid for by different people. We are paying for the wedding, FI's grandmother is paying for the RD and has a different budget. There are more limitations on group size because it's a different kind of venue (she can't afford to do a reception-size RD, though I know people do). 

    Also, while we could and did trim our overall guest list for the wedding to accommodate extra +1s, it's harder to do that for RD where there really is a minimum number of people who have to be involved -- we can't be short a communion minister just so Best Man can bring his +1 college buddy to the RD. So, I think it's ideal to invite +1s to the RD in addition to the SOs, but it really has to be handled differently than the wedding list. 
  • SOs, definitely. 

    The issue I can see with comparing wedding and RD as far as +1s go is that often these are being paid for by different people. We are paying for the wedding, FI's grandmother is paying for the RD and has a different budget. There are more limitations on group size because it's a different kind of venue (she can't afford to do a reception-size RD, though I know people do). 

    Also, while we could and did trim our overall guest list for the wedding to accommodate extra +1s, it's harder to do that for RD where there really is a minimum number of people who have to be involved -- we can't be short a communion minister just so Best Man can bring his +1 college buddy to the RD. So, I think it's ideal to invite +1s to the RD in addition to the SOs, but it really has to be handled differently than the wedding list. 
    But them offering to host a wedding-related event for you does not excuse either you or them from etiquette rules.  If the rehearsal dinner host's budget is so tight that they can't afford to pay for all the guests, including the SOs, then they should not be hosting or the bride and groom should pay the difference.  It's not acceptable to say "FILs are hosting the rehearsal dinner and they can only afford pizza and beer for 15 people, so the SOs of the wedding party members are not invited" or "FIL's are hosting the rehearsal dinner and they want to have it at Y restaurant but can only afford 15 guests so...".  If the prospective hosts' finances and willingness don't extend to all guests, then you (general you) need to decline the offer to host and host it yourself, or cancel the rehearsal dinner (and rehearsal, by default) altogether.



  • primafaba15primafaba15 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    edited June 2015
    Totally agree, which is why we are inviting SOs. My understanding with +1s for our single (as in, not currently even casually dating anyone) friends is that it's a nice-to-have, but not required by etiquette, even at the actual wedding. So I guess I was responding less to the OP's question about SOs (obviously have to be included) and more to the subsequent posts debating whether it's OK to not have +1s at the RD. 
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