Dear Prudence,
I’m very happily married and we’re also expecting our first child. My husband is a fantastic, smart man and he’s going to be a wonderful father. When he was 8, he was hit by a car and suffered a very severe brain injury. He had to learn to walk and talk again and lost all of his memory from before the accident. Nevertheless, he has made a rather remarkable recovery, with seemingly few side effects. For one, if he’s roused from sleep he suffers extreme confusion for about 30 seconds and it takes 15 to 20 minutes for him to feel safe to drive, etc. He actively avoids the doctor but since he is in his early 30s, I feel there are a few checkups he should have at the physician’s office. But whenever his medical history comes up, he’s terrified of what the doctor is going to say about his potential quality of life. I’m not sure anybody would have answers for us, since there’s limited research on long-term effects of traumatic brain injury, and it’s usually a case-by-case basis. Do we go to the doctor and worry ourselves sick just as we’re starting a family, so we can be prepared? Or do we just pray for the best?