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Wedding reception raffle- tacky?

saiiawaysaiiaway member
First Comment First Anniversary
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My husband and I had a destination wedding, it was more of an elopement with some family that insisted on coming which was fine. They are throwing us a reception back at home in a couple weeks.

We are still on our honeymoon in Japan and I thought it could be fun to make a sort of random gift basket or two of totally weird Japanese things as there is a plethora of that here.. and everyone who brings a card gets a ticket? What do you think?
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Re: Wedding reception raffle- tacky?

  • justsiejustsie member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Tacky
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Very tacky.
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Egads, no!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • ViczaesarViczaesar member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    saiiaway said:

    My husband and I had a destination wedding, it was more of an elopement with some family that insisted on coming which was fine. They are throwing us a reception back at home in a couple weeks.

    We are still on our honeymoon in Japan and I thought it could be fun to make a sort of random gift basket or two of totally weird Japanese things as there is a plethora of that here.. and everyone who brings a card gets a ticket? What do you think?

    Wow. I'm almost speechless. Just...wow.



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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited June 2015
    saiiaway said:
    My husband and I had a destination wedding, it was more of an elopement with some family that insisted on coming which was fine. They are throwing us a reception back at home in a couple weeks. We are still on our honeymoon in Japan and I thought it could be fun to make a sort of random gift basket or two of totally weird Japanese things as there is a plethora of that here.. and everyone who brings a card gets a ticket? What do you think?
    1.  Elopements do not have guests.  You had a destination wedding.  I hope you also had a wedding reception buying your guests dinner.

    2.  The AHR will not be a part of your wedding.  It is not your wedding reception.  You either had that, or didn't have it (Ew!  Tacky not to feed your guests!) on your wedding day.
    The AHR is simply a big party to celebrate your return from your honeymoon and your new marriage.  Please don't try to make it into something it is not.

    3.  Raffles are not appropriate at any party.  Treat your guests equally.
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  • huskypuppy14huskypuppy14 member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    No!

    First off, no one is required to give you gifts or cards anyway. But they are certainly not required to give you a gift when they weren't even invited to the wedding.

    You don't get married to get gifts.


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  • jacques27jacques27 member
    First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Ick.  Tacky.  Really, really tacky.
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  • onefootinthebayouonefootinthebayou member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Tacky. Please don't do this. As 1 PP suggested, get something for EVERYONE & call it a favor.
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  • charlottesmom0626charlottesmom0626 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    I vote troll.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    This is one of those times where tacky just isn't the word. Tacky is for balloon arches and christmas sweaters. 

    This would be rude as hell. Selfish, gross, and gift grabby work too. 
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  • emmiejayneemmiejayne member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    I won't say tacky because the word makes me feel icky.  But the idea makes me cringe.

    Personally, I don't like the idea if it's only for people who bring a card.

    What might be better, is if you got the basket of really nice stuff, and gave it to the couple who have been married longest? It's something a friend did at hers, she played a game where all the couples were on the dance floor and she gave a big bunch of flowers to the longest-together couple (who, I think, were in their 80's).  It was really sweet :)
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  • kaitlynmichellekaitlynmichelle member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    Tacky. Beyond tacky. I'd be offended by this if I saw some guests not get a ticket based on lack of a gift.
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  • MobKazMobKaz member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    saiiaway said:
    My husband and I had a destination wedding, it was more of an elopement with some family that insisted on coming which was fine. They are throwing us a reception back at home in a couple weeks. We are still on our honeymoon in Japan and I thought it could be fun to make a sort of random gift basket or two of totally weird Japanese things as there is a plethora of that here.. and everyone who brings a card gets a ticket? What do you think?


    To select a "winner", I am guessing you would select a card from the card box.  When you open the card to name the winner, do you draw again if that card giver did not include a check?  If a check is enclosed, does the check have to be above a certain monetary amount to qualify for the raffle?  Does the potential raffle winner get a chance to increase his check amount before you toss his card in the reject pile?  Can he check the random gift basket before making his decision?

    I think it's too complicated.  Skip it.
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  • southernbelle0915southernbelle0915 mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    This idea really sucks.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    Your heart is in the right place, but the idea is tacky. Only thing that guests should get for bringing you something should be a thank you card. Now if you find some cute cards while in Japan that you could use as a Thank You card, that would be fine.

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    So, if the requirement wasn't that only people who brought cards were entered into the raffle, I would actually like the idea...that being said, raffles aren't really a "wedding" thing, and the way you are currently planning to do it is gift-grabby.

    If you want to do it, everyone should be able to enter.

    I really do prefer PPs post about getting something small for everyone, though, as a favor.
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  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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  • lembasloverlembaslover member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    I  much prefer the idea of a cute little Japanese trinket as a favor. I know people like food favors so maybe get something they could eat. A few years ago a co-worker went to Japan and brought us all back these chocolate lucky cows or something like that I don't quite remember. It had something to do with Japanese culture and it was pretty cool so maybe something like that...

    If you're set on the gift basket idea maybe play some sort of game where there is a winner, or give it to the couple who's been married the longest, or the couple who traveled the furthest, or just give everyone a ticket and do a raffle. This seems more suited for a shower though and since you're already married I think the favors is a better way to go. You wouldn't have to give everyone the same favor assuming they are similar price-points (ie. 1 person's isn't 25cents and another person's is $25)
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