FMIL Rant

bridet0be15 · June 2015

I know people get tired of hearing these. BUUT I need to get this off my chest to sleep tonight:). Today was my wonderful beautiful shower. It was such a great day. However, once again my FMIL tried to make everything about herself and cause drama. I know that she thinks she is losing her youngest son but seriously we have been engaged for almost 2 years.. no need to cause a scene!

So my aunt (as a joke gift) gave me a piece of lingerie. As far as lingerie goes this was pretty classy. Everyone was laughing and thought it was funny. Until my FMIL said loud enough for everyone to hear "Seriously? Do they not understand that he is my baby?". I ignored it laughed and thanked auntie. Then when FI came towards the end everyone had been taking pictures so they asked for us to get together. When he came up to me he pecked me on the lips. Seriously no open make out sesh, a peck on the lips. Then someone said do it again I want a picture of that. She again stated loud enough for everyone to hear "Ew. She is stealing my baby. I don't want to see this". And left the room to use the restroom. So then I had about 10 people come up to me to say how mad she was and that she kept complaining and basically asking if she normally acts like this. I had a moment alone with FI and I started to tell him and he goes "OH I KNOW. Thats the first thing she told me about when I walked in the door" (In regards to the lingerie. I was embarrassed about the situation. I know everyone knows we are two different people but is the scene necessary???

When we get married and we kiss is she going to be shouting "ew" then? This may seem small but after 5 years of her being crazy I am done. Week after week it is something new. Do I let it go or do I ask her politely to not say those things at on our wedding day??

edited for spelling.. I'm a terrible speller

Jen4948 · June 2015

Asking her politely anything won't guarantee that she'll fall into line with your wishes. She may very well shout "ew" as you kiss or anything else. All she'll do is keep screaming about how you're "stealing her baby." It's a completely AW act because she seems to love the drama. Your FI can approach her and ask her to knock off the stupid "stealing her baby" act but again, there's no guarantee that she'll stfu.

What you can do is ask these people at the shower to stop bringing to your attention how she reacted. Let them know that you are not willing to hear from them about it any more. You can also have security escort her away if you need to.

AddieCake · June 2015

Egads. This is very unhealthy!

justsie · June 2015

bridet0be15 said:

I know people get tired of hearing these. BUUT I need to get this off my chest to sleep tonight:). Today was my wonderful beautiful shower. It was such a great day. However, once again my FMIL tried to make everything about herself and cause drama. I know that she thinks she is losing her youngest son but seriously we have been engaged for almost 2 years.. no need to cause a scene!

So my aunt (as a joke gift) gave me a piece of lingerie. As far as lingerie goes this was pretty classy. Everyone was laughing and thought it was funny. Until my FMIL said loud enough for everyone to hear "Seriously? Do they not understand that he is my baby?". I ignored it laughed and thanked auntie. Then when FI came towards the end everyone had been taking pictures so they asked for us to get together. When he came up to me he pecked me on the lips. Seriously no open make out sesh, a peck on the lips. Then someone said do it again I want a picture of that. She again stated loud enough for everyone to hear "Ew. She is stealing my baby. I don't want to see this". And left the room to use the restroom. So then I had about 10 people come up to me to say how mad she was and that she kept complaining and basically asking if she normally acts like this. I had a moment alone with FI and I started to tell him and he goes "OH I KNOW. Thats the first thing she told me about when I walked in the door" (In regards to the lingerie. I was embarrassed about the situation. I know everyone knows we are two different people but is the scene necessary???

When we get married and we kiss is she going to be shouting "ew" then? This may seem small but after 5 years of her being crazy I am done. Week after week it is something new. Do I let it go or do I ask her politely to not say those things at on our wedding day??

edited for spelling.. I'm a terrible speller

I agree with Jen, this is your FIs place to say something to his mom.

I will add though that it seems everyone knows that she was in the wrong, it's not like everyone thinks you are causing this. I would enjoy a glass of wine or whatever you prefer and move on.

MairePoppy · June 2015

You don't need to do anything but ignore FMIL. Your fi should be the one to set her straight though.

CMGragain · June 2015

Yes, my MIL used to telephone us in the middle of the night and ask DH if he still loved her. DH would patiently say, "Yes, I still love you. Goodnight." and hang up the phone.

I outlived her.

bridet0be15 · June 2015

Thanks everyone!! Being her FDIL has really tested my patience! However, the shower was nothing compared to the last 5 years, just embarrassing in front of my family and friends. I don't want to be the person to yes "YES YES. MY FMIL is crazy" or the person who pretends like she is normal. So I ignored her behavior at the shower. When people came up to me I just smiled and said I was having so much fun I didn't notice. Not sure how to handle this in the future.. continue drinking the mimosas? Ha.

OliveOilsMom · June 2015

bridet0be15 said:

Thanks everyone!! Being her FDIL has really tested my patience! However, the shower was nothing compared to the last 5 years, just embarrassing in front of my family and friends. I don't want to be the person to yes "YES YES. MY FMIL is crazy" or the person who pretends like she is normal. So I ignored her behavior at the shower. When people came up to me I just smiled and said I was having so much fun I didn't notice. Not sure how to handle this in the future.. continue drinking the mimosas? Ha.

Your FI really needs to step in and tell FMIL to stop. If he stands up to her and tells her he needs to start respecting your relationship, maybe then she will stop seeing him as "her baby". He should also tell her that if she does not stop this type of behavior, she will be seeing less of both of you.

Start setting boundaries now! What happens when you have children of your own? Can you even imagine how much she will butt in and make her little comments then? Week after week its something new, you said. Start imposing those boundaries. When she says something, FI needs to speak up. "Mom, I have told you that I don't want to hear anything like that anymore. If you can't respect that, we will be going." If she continues, leave and don't see her again for at least two weeks. If you keep putting up with her comments, she knows she can get away with her melodramatics.

MairePoppy · June 2015

OliveOilsMom said:

bridet0be15 said:

Thanks everyone!! Being her FDIL has really tested my patience! However, the shower was nothing compared to the last 5 years, just embarrassing in front of my family and friends. I don't want to be the person to yes "YES YES. MY FMIL is crazy" or the person who pretends like she is normal. So I ignored her behavior at the shower. When people came up to me I just smiled and said I was having so much fun I didn't notice. Not sure how to handle this in the future.. continue drinking the mimosas? Ha.

Your FI really needs to step in and tell FMIL to stop. If he stands up to her and tells her he needs to start respecting your relationship, maybe then she will stop seeing him as "her baby". He should also tell her that if she does not stop this type of behavior, she will be seeing less of both of you.
Start setting boundaries now! What happens when you have children of your own? Can you even imagine how much she will butt in and make her little comments then? Week after week its something new, you said. Start imposing those boundaries. When she says something, FI needs to speak up. "Mom, I have told you that I don't want to hear anything like that anymore. If you can't respect that, we will be going." If she continues, leave and don't see her again for at least two weeks. If you keep putting up with her comments, she knows she can get away with her melodramatics.

If FMIL is grossed out over her son kissing his fi, can you imagine what her reaction might be to a pregnancy announcement?

My MIL was possessive of her 'children.' She thought of me and her other ILs as interlopers. When we were first married, she'd call us very early on Saturday mornings to see if we were up yet or if we were going to waste the whole day in bed. Hmmm. After several weeks of this nonsense, I picked up the phone and said hello in a half sleepy voice. She shreaked into the phone, 'Now, don't tell me you're still sleeping.'

I answered, 'Well .....we're still in bed.........but we weren't sleeping.' For once, MIL was speechless. She muttered a goodbye and never called us again early on the weekends. My husband was mortified.

pinupbride6189 · June 2015

MairePoppy said:

OliveOilsMom said:

bridet0be15 said:

Thanks everyone!! Being her FDIL has really tested my patience! However, the shower was nothing compared to the last 5 years, just embarrassing in front of my family and friends. I don't want to be the person to yes "YES YES. MY FMIL is crazy" or the person who pretends like she is normal. So I ignored her behavior at the shower. When people came up to me I just smiled and said I was having so much fun I didn't notice. Not sure how to handle this in the future.. continue drinking the mimosas? Ha.

Your FI really needs to step in and tell FMIL to stop. If he stands up to her and tells her he needs to start respecting your relationship, maybe then she will stop seeing him as "her baby". He should also tell her that if she does not stop this type of behavior, she will be seeing less of both of you.
Start setting boundaries now! What happens when you have children of your own? Can you even imagine how much she will butt in and make her little comments then? Week after week its something new, you said. Start imposing those boundaries. When she says something, FI needs to speak up. "Mom, I have told you that I don't want to hear anything like that anymore. If you can't respect that, we will be going." If she continues, leave and don't see her again for at least two weeks. If you keep putting up with her comments, she knows she can get away with her melodramatics.

If FMIL is grossed out over her son kissing his fi, can you imagine what her reaction might be to a pregnancy announcement?

My MIL was possessive of her 'children.' She thought of me and her other ILs as interlopers. When we were first married, she'd call us very early on Saturday mornings to see if we were up yet or if we were going to waste the whole day in bed. Hmmm. After several weeks of this nonsense, I picked up the phone and said hello in a half sleepy voice. She shreaked into the phone, 'Now, don't tell me you're still sleeping.'

I answered, 'Well .....we're still in bed.........but we weren't sleeping.' For once, MIL was speechless. She muttered a goodbye and never called us again early on the weekends. My husband was mortified.

This is the beautiful.

blushingbride8888 · July 2015

UGH you poor thing. My grandmother is obsessed with my dad STILL and my parents have been married 25 yrs. If she could she'd still be putting him in a basinet. You can hear her in the wedding video crying and whining as they went off to the honeymoon and my mom comforting her saying that they'll have lots of grandbabies. Not making this up.

Let your FI handle this one and have him tell her to keep her comments to herself.

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