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FB Wedding Groups and Robes

People post things in these groups that make me roll my eyes pretty frequently but I decided to reply to one for the first time. A woman is trying to buy robes for her BMs and wants to get them as cheap as possible. Another member is trying to help her and said she got hers for less than $35/piece and offered to help her look elsewhere. The original woman just keeps replying "Thanks, I'm going to keep looking elsewhere" (it was a lot weirder/funnier reading it because the member was trying to help her). I told her Amazon is selling silk robes pretty cheap for her and her BMs but that if she is getting these as her BM gifts she should think about maybe getting them a $25 gift card or something instead- not only would this be cheaper but not everyone likes robes. So now I'm just sitting here preparing to get torn a new one for the sake of "WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE PICTURES" and probably a few lines about what brideslavesmaids are really for.

I wonder if this woman (or any of the other users we get on here concerned about robes) will open her wedding album, look at the pictures of her and her BMs getting ready and think to herself, "Ahh. I'm so glad I forced them into matching robes. We truly look Pinterest-perfect" and wipe a happy tear from her eyes.


Please tell me some of you guys are members of groups like these because I'm sure you all have a better story than me. Or hell, tell me about a weird bridesmaid gift you received. Or tell me about what you're wearing/wore getting ready for the wedding. Or talk to me about cheese.


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Re: FB Wedding Groups and Robes

  • I can't wait until this trend fades. And all these people who 'omg must have robes b/c Pinterest pics!!!!!' are thinking to themselves "*smh* why on earth did I do that?"

    I'm just waiting.
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  • Man.  I got nothin'.  Not in any FB groups.  I was only in one wedding.  I got ready at my own house and didn't wear a robe (didn't even own a robe at the time), and our gift wasn't really a gift- she gave us a bracelet and a necklace to wear with our dresses.

    I like cheese, but not as much as most people on this board.  I'm going to have cheesey garlic bread with my dinner tonight.


  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2015
    i didn't even wear a robe.  I wore a purple button down (one that I had worn when I was a BM at another wedding) and some jeans. 

    I didn't really "get ready" with my BMs.     My BM's appointments started at 9-10am.  Mine was at 11 or so.  We were all basically in-and-out.  My 2 sils showed up fully dressed at 3pm for pictures.


    It sounds like I did it all wrong.  Time for a do over so I can get those awesome getting ready in matching robes Pinterest shots.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    my best fb group post is one posting a brand new custom-made dress for sale that looks like someone attached tissue paper balls to the bottom.  I'm convinced it is a knock off but I never asked because the person who posted it is also the page creator/admin and I didn't want to get kicked off before I listed my stuff
  • @lyndausvi , sounds like you and @FeeleyToBe need a serious do over.

    @southernbelle0915 I am curious about what the next trend will be to take over pinterest!


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  • kvruns said:

    my best fb group post is one posting a brand new custom-made dress for sale that looks like someone attached tissue paper balls to the bottom.  I'm convinced it is a knock off but I never asked because the person who posted it is also the page creator/admin and I didn't want to get kicked off before I listed my stuff

    I think you posted a few picture of it here, right? That thing was ugly.


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  • I was in one wedding group on FB and someone posted about having a PPD because she was in the military and her deployment had changed. So she wanted to get married, then have a big wedding and reception when she got home. I brought up all the points we bring up here and I was definitely in the minority. 

    "You deserve a big wedding if that's what you want!"
    "I think in these circumstances, you should have whatever you want."
    "Anybody that says your courthouse wedding should be the only wedding you get doesn't love you."



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  • hellohkb said:
    @lyndausvi , sounds like you and @FeeleyToBe need a serious do over. @southernbelle0915 I am curious about what the next trend will be to take over pinterest!
    No need for a do-over.  Wasn't my wedding and while I didn't hate being a bridesmaid (she really had no faux pas other than her "gift") it's not something I'd be excited to do again.  Just not my thing. 
  • Yeah, the whole trendy "getting ready" photographs thing was something I nixed right away when my photographer offered it. I was like - "Well, I'm gonna be in this room by myself putting on a dress. It will take 2 minutes, max. And everyone else is going to be somewhere else doing whatever they want whenever they want. Why don't you just show up for the ceremony." We ended up saving that hour and a half of contracted time for more awesome candid shots at the reception and I don't regret it for a second!
  • Yeah, the whole trendy "getting ready" photographs thing was something I nixed right away when my photographer offered it. I was like - "Well, I'm gonna be in this room by myself putting on a dress. It will take 2 minutes, max. And everyone else is going to be somewhere else doing whatever they want whenever they want. Why don't you just show up for the ceremony." We ended up saving that hour and a half of contracted time for more awesome candid shots at the reception and I don't regret it for a second!
    I don't mind the staged candids of the bride's mom fixing the veil or necklace, or the groom's uncle or mom pinning on the bout.  But most getting ready photos are bullshit.
  • edited July 2015
    Oh actually, I take it all back. How could I have missed out on this photo op?!?!?

    I demand a do-over.


  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2015
    We did have a few "getting ready shots".   All the BMs I believe were dressed.   I had a corset back dress that took a little time to lace up. The photographer did take a picture of them lacking me up.  One shot 2 of the BMs had a "Are we doing this right?" look.   Only after I got the proofs did I notice they messed up at one point, so no they were not. Ha.

    Another shot was me helping my very pregnant (8 months along) BM put her shoes on.  She couldn't see her feet let alone get around the her belly to hook up the straps.   That shot was really me helping my BM, not my BM helping me :p









    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • novella1186novella1186 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2015
    Yeah, the whole trendy "getting ready" photographs thing was something I nixed right away when my photographer offered it. I was like - "Well, I'm gonna be in this room by myself putting on a dress. It will take 2 minutes, max. And everyone else is going to be somewhere else doing whatever they want whenever they want. Why don't you just show up for the ceremony." We ended up saving that hour and a half of contracted time for more awesome candid shots at the reception and I don't regret it for a second!
    My photographers didn't even offer it, which is part of why I loved them so much. They were just like "So we'll meet you at the venue at x time?" 

    I got ready at a rental house and then changed into my dress after I got to the venue, so I think one of the photogs got a shot of my BM zipping my dress, but that was about it. 

    ETA: and as to the second bolded, that's what we did too. Rather than have them get there 2 hours earlier for "getting ready" pics, they stayed 2 hours later and (I assume) got some awesome candid shots of guests going crazy on the dance floor. Hm what do I want to look back on more? My BMs looking uncomfortable in matching robes, or my grandma and H rockin' out together in the middle of the dance floor? Tough choice! 
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer

    @hellohkb yup I posted it on here. Heck even my mom thought it looked terrible and she is always nice about everything

  • Yeah, the whole trendy "getting ready" photographs thing was something I nixed right away when my photographer offered it. I was like - "Well, I'm gonna be in this room by myself putting on a dress. It will take 2 minutes, max. And everyone else is going to be somewhere else doing whatever they want whenever they want. Why don't you just show up for the ceremony." We ended up saving that hour and a half of contracted time for more awesome candid shots at the reception and I don't regret it for a second!
    My photographers didn't even offer it, which is part of why I loved them so much. They were just like "So we'll meet you at the venue at x time?" 

    I got ready at a rental house and then changed into my dress after I got to the venue, so I think one of the photogs got a shot of my BM zipping my dress, but that was about it. 

    ETA: and as to the second bolded, that's what we did too. Rather than have them get there 2 hours earlier for "getting ready" pics, they stayed 2 hours later and (I assume) got some awesome candid shots of guests going crazy on the dance floor. Hm what do I want to look back on more? My BMs looking uncomfortable in matching robes, or my grandma and H rockin' out together in the middle of the dance floor? Tough choice! 
    We we did a first look and family/WP shots BEFORE the wedding at the rental place.  So that is why he was there. 

    He was also there till the end.  We have some awesome shots of our "old"  people rockin' out on our dance floor too.

    Honestly, I look at our candid shots more than our formal shots.  I love looking at my guests having so much fun.      We actually told our photographers NOT to follow us around all damn night.  We wanted shots of our guests too.  They did a great balancing of both.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • hellohkb said:
    @lyndausvi , sounds like you and @FeeleyToBe need a serious do over. @southernbelle0915 I am curious about what the next trend will be to take over pinterest!
    Hmmm... since mix/matched BM dresses are kind of a thing now, maybe super cute pics with everyone wearing bra and underwear sets that match their dress? Like a group boudoir session? It'll become a BM "duty" to participate.
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  • hellohkb said:
    @lyndausvi , sounds like you and @FeeleyToBe need a serious do over. @southernbelle0915 I am curious about what the next trend will be to take over pinterest!
    Hmmm... since mix/matched BM dresses are kind of a thing now, maybe super cute pics with everyone wearing bra and underwear sets that match their dress? Like a group boudoir session? It'll become a BM "duty" to participate.
    NNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO don't give anyone ideas!! Cuz they'll do it! (I mean it's already a trend to do the whole "tehe we're flashing our panties!" pic) 
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  • l9il9i member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    hellohkb said:
    @lyndausvi , sounds like you and @FeeleyToBe need a serious do over. @southernbelle0915 I am curious about what the next trend will be to take over pinterest!
    Hmmm... since mix/matched BM dresses are kind of a thing now, maybe super cute pics with everyone wearing bra and underwear sets that match their dress? Like a group boudoir session? It'll become a BM "duty" to participate.

    -----------------------BOX-----------------------------
    I swear I've heard of people doing this (I can't remember where I heard this but I know I did) lol.... I couldn't even imagine...
  • UO: I did robes for my bridesmaids... I didn't realize how trendy it was becoming until it was too late. With that said I don't regret it. There was no embroidery that linked it back to my wedding and I have seen most of the girls wear theirs again numerous times. And I do have a picture I love with all of us in our robes and a shot in the video where we were "cheersing" our mimosas. Granted both things would have been cute without the robes, but I I still like the way it looks.
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  • l9i said:
    hellohkb said:
    @lyndausvi , sounds like you and @FeeleyToBe need a serious do over. @southernbelle0915 I am curious about what the next trend will be to take over pinterest!
    Hmmm... since mix/matched BM dresses are kind of a thing now, maybe super cute pics with everyone wearing bra and underwear sets that match their dress? Like a group boudoir session? It'll become a BM "duty" to participate.

    -----------------------BOX-----------------------------
    I swear I've heard of people doing this (I can't remember where I heard this but I know I did) lol.... I couldn't even imagine...
    Oh, it's been done...
  • This conversation reminded me that my photographer has alloted like an hour of getting ready time for me and then like another hour or half hour with FH and his GM. I'll have to talk with him about that. He said he strongly recommends against doing trendy Pinterest poses and shots, so I can't imagine him suggesting anything crazy during that time.


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  • hellohkbhellohkb mod
    Moderator Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited July 2015
    Yes, bridesmaid boudoir is a thing. :(



    image


    ETA: I'm going to edit out this photo since some people are at work. If you're curious, google "Bridesmaid boudoir" and be prepared for the "wtf".






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  • My photographer was with me for about 3 hours before our first look. She arrived at the hair salon at 9:30, and we were there until 11:30. She wasn't taking photos the whole time, we went over shot lists, discussed back up locations for the pouring rain, and she hung out with my family which I think helped me be more comfortable for the rest of the day. She also got some detail shots of my rings and veil there.
    We went back to the hotel and she got pics of my dress, more details, and finally the last few seconds of my mom zipping me up. We also took some portraits and parent photos there.

    Honestly she was so helpful with keeping us on a timeline!

    I also "only" gifted my MOH a necklace. She seemed to like it, though!

    image

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  • hellohkb said:
    Yes, bridesmaid boudoir is a thing. :(

    image


    ETA: I'm going to edit out this photo since some people are at work. If you're curious, google "Bridesmaid boudoir" and be prepared for the "wtf".
    I googled it. What. The. Actual. Fuck.
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  • My MOH and I got ready together, but we were in Hawaii and only had 1 girl for hair and MU for both of us, so it made sense.  I think I wore an old tank top, so I could get it over my head without toasting my hair.  We ate pizza too.  I do like my getting ready photos, but I don't have a lot of them either, so it doesn't feel like over kill.  I think there are about 2 pages in a album.  DH has some of those too


  • hellohkb said:


    Yes, bridesmaid boudoir is a thing. :(

    image


    ETA: I'm going to edit out this photo since some people are at work. If you're curious, google "Bridesmaid boudoir" and be prepared for the "wtf".

    I googled it. What. The. Actual. Fuck.

  • UO: I did robes for my bridesmaids... I didn't realize how trendy it was becoming until it was too late. With that said I don't regret it. There was no embroidery that linked it back to my wedding and I have seen most of the girls wear theirs again numerous times. And I do have a picture I love with all of us in our robes and a shot in the video where we were "cheersing" our mimosas. Granted both things would have been cute without the robes, but I I still like the way it looks.
    I didn't do robes for my bridesmaids, but I received a monogrammed robe for a wedding in which I was a bridesmaid. Also UO - I actually liked it (it was a nice, neutral colored Ralph Lauren robe) and I still wear it all the time, even though my initials have now changed. We took a getting ready shot with the robes (though we took it when everyone was ready over dresses so no one had to feel "naked". I get that it's not everybody's cup of tea but I think the hatred towards them is somewhat overblown.  
  • I don't hate robes- Quite the contrary. I just don't understand the obsession with having to get matching ones and passing them off as your bridesmaid gift.


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  • I also did robes for my bridesmaids- just simple white silky ones with each of my maid's first names embroidered in gold. I did this in full knowledge of how popular and overdone this trend is, but I still think it's cute as all get-out. The girls seemed really excited about them, but who knows, maybe they were lying to me. 

    I also got them other gifts, but I think as long as you do that it doesn't matter how overdone, cutesy, or whatever else other people think about it- if you like it and your girls aren't uncomfortable with it, go for it.
  • I'm in a couple FB groups and I mostly just stay for the train wreckage. I had one girl ask if she was forgetting anything leading up to her DW so I suggested checking the marriage license requirements in the country she was heading to. Her response was basically "you're so silly! It costs $2000 more to get married there so we're just doing the legal stuff here first, then everyone is paying a bunch of money to fly to wherever and watch the super special "real" ceremony!" I bit my tongue pretty hard. Proper etiquette seems to be an UO there so I bite my tongue frequently actually.
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