California-Los Angeles

Help! My bridal party is not getting along!

OK, I am getting married in Sept. 2015. My sister lives across the country and is my MOH. My FH sister and one of my close friends are my BMs. The issue I am finding out, is that my sister has completely backed out of planning my bridal shower. My bridesmaids have picked up the slack. The only reason I found out is because my mom let it slip that my sister doesn't get along with them and has been complaining to her about them. I asked my BMs and they told me that my sister had been very negative from the beginning about any ideas they had. I am so confused. I love all 3 girls involved but how do I tell them they need to grow up and work it out without hurting them? I am to the point where I just want to cancel the shower to get rid of the drama...:|

Re: Help! My bridal party is not getting along!

  • JennyColadaJennyColada Awesometown, CA member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2015
    "Hey sister, some of the other BMs have said that they've been having trouble with planning the shower. Do you need any help? It sounds like a lot of work and I want you to have fun, so how can I help you have more fun?" sounds good to me.

    I mean, does your sister usually get along with your friends? Is there anything else going on in her life that could be causing her more stress? Talk to her as a sister, not as a bride.

    Your girls don't have to get along, and it's unlikely that they'll all be BFF, but if they are fighting and arguing and if this is causing everyone stress then that's definitely no good. I think that it depends on WHAT they are fighting about and WHY they are all getting upset.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    OK, I am getting married in Sept. 2015. My sister lives across the country and is my MOH. My FH sister and one of my close friends are my BMs. The issue I am finding out, is that my sister has completely backed out of planning my bridal shower. My bridesmaids have picked up the slack. The only reason I found out is because my mom let it slip that my sister doesn't get along with them and has been complaining to her about them. I asked my BMs and they told me that my sister had been very negative from the beginning about any ideas they had. I am so confused. I love all 3 girls involved but how do I tell them they need to grow up and work it out without hurting them? I am to the point where I just want to cancel the shower to get rid of the drama...:|
    Your sister doesn't need to be involved in planning (or paying for) your shower.  You should not be involved in planning your shower at all.  If your bridesmaids  want to host a shower for you and are able, let them.  They shouldn't be involving you in their drama.  If they're hosting, they get to make the decisions about the shower.  They don't need to check with your sister or ask for feedback on their ideas.



  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    Would it be possible for you to hire a planner for your shower?  If so, that would take the stress off everyone and leave you all able to have a little bit more fun.  If not, maybe pick one BM and have her take charge a little bit and let your sister know that you aren't mad at her.  Hopefully things will smooth out from there!  Good luck!
    This is a very bad idea.  The bride should have absolutely no part in planning a gift-giving party in her own honor.  No hiring a shower planner and no picking which bridesmaid should be in charge.  Showers are a gift given by anyone who wants to give them.  They should not be requested or required or organized in any way by the honoree.



This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards