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Bad Friend

[Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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edited July 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
One of my friend's is upset I can't hang out with her a week before the wedding.  Does this make me a bad friend?  She's in the wedding as a bridesmaid.  I came in from OOT and I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions.  

Does this make me a bad friend?


Edit:  I sort of know the answer, so I deleted and then saw someone answer.  I shortened it instead.  Sorry for the confusion. 
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Re: Bad Friend

  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    Nope. You are not a bad friend. You are busy as hell, and she needs to respect that. You tried to provide her a way to see you, and she declined. One of my friends used to run into this every time she went home, running themselves ragged trying to see everyone. Finally, theynjustbstarted telling people, "This is where we will be. If you want to see us, come on by!"
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    It is very rude to delete your original question.  I don't think I like you.
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  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold mod
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    Damn me for not quoting! 

    OP, there's nothing wrong with you being busy before your wedding. You're fine.
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  • sparklepants41sparklepants41 member
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    Can you bring the wine and favors over to your bridesmaid's house and tie the favors there?

    If not, I found last fall in the weeks leading up to my wedding, that it was really nice to have non-wedding related time as well. You may find that although you are super busy, even an hour or two spent just simply hanging with a friend can make a world of difference in your stress level.

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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    I don't think you're wrong to be busy and unavailable before your wedding.  Your friend needs to respect that right now you can't get together casually.
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  • MandyMostMandyMost member
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    On the one hand you can just tell her that you are too busy with wedding-related stuff to stop what you're doing and just hang out and see her (and her son). And she should understand that, especially since you invited her to come along with wedding-related stuff with you.

    Oh the other hand, that's really a total lie, and she likely knows that. You're not too busy doing wedding related stuff: you're choosing to see other people instead of her, and in your time not with those people you're choosing to spend time alone with your FI relaxing. To be clear, there is absolutely nothing wrong with your choices, but you need to acknowledge that you have made these choices. And of course she is hurt that she's one of your best friends and you're not making time to see her when you are making time to see all those different relatives. 
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  • lovegood90lovegood90 member
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    edited July 2015
    I saw your original question, and I think it's super lame that your friend is guilting you about not seeing her but the only way she'll see you is if you come to her? You said she has a kid, so it's understandable if she can't find a sitter or whatnot, but that doesn't mean she gets to make you feel bad for being busy too.

    Formerly martha1818

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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
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    lovegood90 said:
    I saw your original question, and I think it's super lame that your friend is guilting you about not seeing her but the only way she'll see you is if you come to her? You said she has a kid, so it's understandable if she can't find a sitter or whatnot, but that doesn't mean she gets to make you feel bad for being busy too.
    Agreed.  While I love my friends and like their kids, there's no way I'd prefer hanging out at a park with my friend and her kid over sitting on my ass watching Dr. Who with my FH in the week before my wedding.
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  • SP29SP29 member
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    Agreed.

    Don't feel guilty. You're an adult, you get to choose how you spend your time, and you don't need to explain yourself for it.
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