Moms and Maids

resolved

edited July 2015 in Moms and Maids
I have taken all your advice, thank you!

Re: resolved

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    Ninth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Yes.

    You can probably ask her to remove her nose ring, but it would be rude to ask her to cover her tattoos with makeup.  If you want them not to show, choose a dress that covers them up (that works with everyone's budget).

  • banana468banana468 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2015
    I have a college friend who I am considering to be a bridesmaid but every time I turn around she is altering her body. She now has around 7 visible large tattoos on her arms and neck, got a nose piercing that looks like a bull ring, and just cut her hair into a bowl cut/ mowhawk thing. I know the hair won't be a big deal, it can probably be styled into an updo and it will grow out by my wedding date of **Removed** but would it be rude for me to ask her to cover her tattoos up with make up and take out her nose ring if she were to be a bridesmaid? 
    Yes.   Those are part of who she is.   They're her skin.   If she had freckles would you try to make them go away?   Or would you try to ask your friends all to get air brush tanning so their skin was the same?  No (I hope no anyway!).

    You can pick a dress that would cover those tattoos or you can give your BM's shawls to wear for the ceremony.
  • Thank you everyone for the advise, I really appreciate it!
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I agree with PPs. There's no nice way to ask someone to change their appearance. 

    I love when I get to tell this story. 

    I was a BM in my brother's wedding and bride had a friend with some large (really pretty) tattoos. Bride told friend she loved her but that her tattoos would ruin the pictures and because of that, she was not asked to be a bridesmaid. Tattooed friend happened to be a makeup artist and Bride asked her to do the makeup for the bridal party. Friend agreed. Day of the wedding, like 8 people are waiting to get their makeup done, friend doesn't show up. She was so hurt by bride that she purposely no-showed on the wedding day. 

    Don't be that guy. 
    Holy hell!  I don't think I have heard that story before.  Wow.  Karma is a bitch I tell ya!

  • mrscomposermrscomposer Mani-snow-ba member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary First Answer
    edited July 2015
    I have a college friend who I am considering to be a bridesmaid but every time I turn around she is altering her body. She now has around 7 visible large tattoos on her arms and neck, got a nose piercing that looks like a bull ring, and just cut her hair into a bowl cut/ mowhawk thing. I know the hair won't be a big deal, it can probably be styled into an updo and it will grow out by my wedding date of **Removed** but would it be rude for me to ask her to cover her tattoos up with make up and take out her nose ring if she were to be a bridesmaid? 


    Even your issue with her hair is bothering me right now.  "Well, I don't like it... but by the time I want her to look pretty, someone'll be able to do something with it to make it acceptable, even if that's not how she wants her hair to be done."

    Relationships are based on more than looks.  Your friend is more than her appearance.  And your wedding is more than your pictures.

    **The OMH formerly known as jsangel1018**
    [Deleted User]frenchiekin
  • edited July 2015
    I have a college friend who I am considering to be a bridesmaid but every time I turn around she is altering her body. She now has around 7 visible large tattoos on her arms and neck, got a nose piercing that looks like a bull ring, and just cut her hair into a bowl cut/ mowhawk thing. I know the hair won't be a big deal, it can probably be styled into an updo and it will grow out by my wedding date of **Removed** but would it be rude for me to ask her to cover her tattoos up with make up and take out her nose ring if she were to be a bridesmaid? 
    Yes, very rude. What she looks like is irrelevant to her being a BM.
    [Deleted User]
  • It is very simple.  If you want her to be your bridesmaid, then you accept the hair, the nose ring and the tattoos.  If these really bother you so much, don't ask her to be a bridesmaid.  Just invite her as a guest.  I wouldn't talk about this with anyone else, if I were you.  You are likely to get a lot of negative feedback.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    [Deleted User]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    What if she has no intentions of growing her hair out before your wedding?
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    [Deleted User][Deleted User]mrscomposer
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2015
    Deleting your post is rude, [Deleted User].  Also pointless, since you were quoted.



    CMGragain[Deleted User]
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I would like to know how you resolved this? Did you ask her to be a BM and realize that you were being ridiculous about worrying over your friends appearance? Or did you put your vision before your friend?

    CMGragain[Deleted User]
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