So for those of you keeping score, you may remember the flower girl drama I had previously. Long story short, we asked one child from FI's side and one child from my side to be in the wedding. My cousin for ring bearer, his cousin for flower girl. I know his cousin (he doesn't know mine) and of all his little cousins she and I have the best relationship and the most in common. So, fine.
A few weeks after the ask we get an email from flower girl's grandmother. Flower girl's cousin (also FI's cousin) aged 10 or so was SUPER SAD she wasn't in the wedding, was there any way we could make her a junior bridesmaid or something? It became a whole family freakout with family members exclaiming "Oh just have all the kids in the wedding we love kids!" etc. etc. which I DID NOT WANT AND PUT MY FOOT THROUGH THE FLOOR ON.
Now it seems flower girl and not flower girl (who was appointed to hand out programs because apparently that's what she wanted) have the same dress. I told flower girl's mom to just get a dress in the color, and they got the same ones. Oooookay. Just ... okay.
ANYWAY I am paying for and planning the rehearsal dinner. FI's family likes all these parties and such to be HUGE with EVERYBODY included. But since the rehearsal dinner is mine I'm trying to do it just for those who have to come in a day early to rehearse as a specific thank you for their trouble. So it's flower girl's family, flower girl's grandparents (special thank you), FI's parents, bridal parties, my grandparents, my aunt and uncle (special thank you), ring bearer's family.
FI and I talked about it and we agreed if we discount program girl's family from this it's going to cause huge family drama. Like huge. But I really don't want to reward their bad behavior of just inching closer and closer to forcing the flower girl issue. I have a sick feeling in my stomach that we'll be going down the aisle and this little girl will either start running up and down or get pushed up and down by her family because SHE'S A FLOWER GIRL OR JUNIOR BRIDESMAID OR SOMETHING. Will it 'ruin' the wedding? So long as I'm legally a Mrs. by the end of it no. But the whole situation has really sickened me. It's shown me that our marriage doesn't matter as much as making sure their little girl doesn't throw a tantrum. I'd much rather include the flower girl in this special opportunity because she and I really click.
So what do I do, Knotties: Not invite program girl's family to the rehearsal dinner, thereby not perpetuating the myth that program girl is a flower girl but bringing down the wrath of that entire side of the family? Or suck it up, invite her and reward their rude behavior but keep the peace?
I know I'm not obligated to invite them. But I'm trying to figure out what the best choice is. For survival and sanity.
Achievement Unlocked: Survived Your Wedding!