Wedding Etiquette Forum

How to treat my girls!?

mishilishmishilish member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited July 2015 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hello! 

So we are in the final stretch and I'm working on the gifts for my girls and I would like some advice/input! 

I have made them all necklaces but still need something else for them in their gift. 

I have a friend who has a FANTASTIC soap company (**link removed by mod**) and has been creating amazing new lines of soap. I wanted to pick some up for my girls but unfortunately they won't be cured in time for the wedding date and if the soap isn't cured properly it won't turn out

SO 

She offered gift certificates and sells at the local markets. 2/4 of my girls don't live in town, but really like this kind of one off handmade stuff. I don't think she is set up for an online store as of yet so that means the 2 girls from out of town (only an hour away) will need to come back here to where I live to go to the market to buy the soap (with the gift certificate I give them).

I see it as en excuse for me to get together with them since they love out of town and I don't see them as often as I like, kind of like a Saturday market trip/girls sleepover idea after the wedding. 

If you got a g/c for a great start-up soap company that was located out of town (but in the brides town) would you feel disappointed that you have to in essence travel to use it? 

I don't want to do anything in bad taste but really want to share this amazing product with my girls as a unique gift

Help?!

Re: How to treat my girls!?

  • That's a terrible plan. A gift that requires me to come back to town an hour away?!? No. Nope. Absolutely not.

    How about you buy them each a gift now, in accordance with their personal and individual taste, and if this soap is so freakin special mail them some for Christmas?

    Zero out of town bridesmaids who have already probably been traveling for you want more semi obligatory fun.
    newvalley
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    I am not a fan. You say they like this kind of stuff, but still. Soap? That I have to drive an hour away to get for myself? I'm thinking no. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    newvalley
  • I don't use soap.  I have one liquid body wash I use for showers, and one foaming hand soap I use at sinks.  You give me soap as a gift and it will be regifted so fast...

    You need to buy something for your bridesmaids that they will like; wine for the wine-lover, a clutch for the accessory-lover, book for the bookworm, etc.  Maybe you can buy soap for the pampered one, but I doubt it.
    newvalley
  • I probably have 11 bars of soap in my bathroom right now that I've gotten as gifts and I don't want any of them. I like soap. In fact, I like it so much that I make it myself. I still don't want people giving it to me. 

    And I would be especially annoyed if I had to drive an hour just to get my soap that was meant to be a gift. 

    As PP have said, shop for each girl individually as if it's her birthday and get each one something that's unique to their own hobbies or interests. 
    image
    newvalley
  • Thanks for the input ladies

    Do my girls like soap?: Yes they do, and they enjoy the smaller handmade products that are not mass produced and enjoy beauty products that pamper them.

    Could my girls use it?: Yes, they could as they have sensitive skin and tend to have issues with stuff that is commercially sold out there and therefore these types of products would benefit them on a personal level and allow them to choose what is best for their needs/preference that suits them better than the stuff they can buy at your typical store 

    I was not thinking of this as an option just because I like the product, it was geared to them personally as they all actually tend to have similar needs in this area of "beauty product" and therefore it was something that worked well for all of them (like how you would buy them all the same colour nail polish that matches the wedding, etc). So I appreciate the input about it not being a personal gift, but it is not the ONLY thing that would be included in the gifts they receive, it is in addition to the other personalized items I have for them.

    I understand completely about the travel issue, and that was really my only concern but still thought we could make a fun day of it rather than it seem "Daunting" to come see me, it could give us a cute saturday outing to the market when I see them in August. We try and get together monthly at the leastanyway so I would be seeing them in this area soon anyway but I appreciate your concerns with this and input

    Thanks again for the advice ladies! <3
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Would I be happy to receive a gift certificate to buy soap that I have to travel for? No.

    If the product is unique, something for me, even soap- sure, that's great. But I don't think a gift is something where you make the receiver go out of their way using their time and money to receive the gift.

    I likely wouldn't use the gift certificate (or forget about it, even if I was planning to see you!), and probably give it away to someone who was local.
    STARMOON44huskypuppy14
  • No on the soap.

    These are the kinds of gift cards that I never even end up using.  Maybe I'm just not a soap person.  And I love supporting small businesses whenever possible, but this seems like you are trying to support your friend's soap business (which is great!) more than you are trying to pick thoughtful gifts for your bridesmaids.  Add the travel time to that and I definitely don't want it. 

    Your plan is to get each of your bridesmaids all the same gift... do they all like the exact same things?  Ditto PPs - you should shop for them like you would for their bday.


    SP29STARMOON44
  • I would have no use for this. I have sensitive skin and can only use a certain kind of soap. You may not know that about your girlfriends. My girlfriends don't know it about me because I get soaps and scented lotions all. the. time. as gifts and I can't use them. Also, giving them a super specific gift card and then making them go out and buy it while your friend is at the farmers market is kind of inconvenient for them.

    I can understand wanting to support your friend's new soap company but it kind of seems like you're doing this more for yourself and your friend than for your BMs.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
    STARMOON44newvalley
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I also think, if the product isn't ready, it isn't ready, so find something else (and use your friend's soaps for a birthday or Christmas gift). Would you go to a commercial store, want to buy something not in stock, then ask the store for a raincheck and give that as a gift? "So I REALLY wanted to get you *this* book but the store was out of stock- so here's the rain check. You'll have to drive back to the city sometime to get it!" Probably not.
    STARMOON44newvalleylyndausvikimmiinthemitten
  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    So your idea of a gift it to require me to come back into town to see you to pick up my gift.  The fact that I've already just travelled to see an support you RIGHT now isn't good enough. Nope, you want to see me again and have decided that giving a gift I have to return to get is the way for that to happen.


    I get it.  You want to support your friend's shop.  But I do not think inconveniencing    your other friends is the way to do that.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    STARMOON44
  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Why did you post this? You don't seem to actually want advice.

    Personally I would be pissed to receive a gc for a product that is not only not available yet, but that I would have to travel to get. If you're really into this idea, why not just send it to them when it's ready?

    STARMOON44
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I make soap.  If she sells at local shops she already has cured soap, and you could just buy some of the already ready soap.  I agree with the others that this seems more like an advertisement.



    Ambibery
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    mishilish said:
    Thanks for the input ladies

    Do my girls like soap?: Yes they do, and they enjoy the smaller handmade products that are not mass produced and enjoy beauty products that pamper them.

    Could my girls use it?: Yes, they could as they have sensitive skin and tend to have issues with stuff that is commercially sold out there and therefore these types of products would benefit them on a personal level and allow them to choose what is best for their needs/preference that suits them better than the stuff they can buy at your typical store 

    I was not thinking of this as an option just because I like the product, it was geared to them personally as they all actually tend to have similar needs in this area of "beauty product" and therefore it was something that worked well for all of them (like how you would buy them all the same colour nail polish that matches the wedding, etc). So I appreciate the input about it not being a personal gift, but it is not the ONLY thing that would be included in the gifts they receive, it is in addition to the other personalized items I have for them.

    I understand completely about the travel issue, and that was really my only concern but still thought we could make a fun day of it rather than it seem "Daunting" to come see me, it could give us a cute saturday outing to the market when I see them in August. We try and get together monthly at the leastanyway so I would be seeing them in this area soon anyway but I appreciate your concerns with this and input

    Thanks again for the advice ladies! <3
    Still not a good idea.  Buy them something more personalized.  


    image
  • I gift that requires your bridesmaids to do work for a very specific item- is a crappy gift. A gift certificate to a local movie theater? Sure! A gift certificate to my favorite store? How thoughtful! A gift certificate for soap… I need to travel an hour for, no thanks. I'd save the gas money and that gift card would probably sit in a drawer forever.
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