Pre-wedding Parties

Engagement Party

My FI and I got engaged late last year, a few days later his sister got engaged too (They had not been together very long). They quickly announced they would be getting married this summer and made it very clear that they did not want us to do any wedding festivities of our own until after their wedding. She even got very upset at her bridal shower when another family member future bride and I discussed our upcoming weddings quietly to each other.

We've been very patient and helped celebrate with her and her FI. Since our wedding isn't until late in 2016, we would really like to have an engagement party celebrate our engagement with our friends. I don't have much family and no one in my family is able to throw a party for us. My FI's parents suggested we do an engagement party at their home but didn't mention planning/throwing it. I don't mind planning, I am very much a planner and, admittedly, a bit of a control freak (not in a mean way, just a very organized way), so I love party planning. But then I read on here that throwing a party for yourself can be seen as tacky? We aren't asking for or excepting gifts.

We just really want a chance for our friends and family to get together and meet each other and mingle. Also since his sisters wedding will be over its finally our chance to celebrate a little bit.

Is it weird for us to do our own engagement party?

Re: Engagement Party

  • My FI and I got engaged late last year, a few days later his sister got engaged too (They had not been together very long). They quickly announced they would be getting married this summer and made it very clear that they did not want us to do any wedding festivities of our own until after their wedding. She even got very upset at her bridal shower when another family member future bride and I discussed our upcoming weddings quietly to each other.

    We've been very patient and helped celebrate with her and her FI. Since our wedding isn't until late in 2016, we would really like to have an engagement party celebrate our engagement with our friends. I don't have much family and no one in my family is able to throw a party for us. My FI's parents suggested we do an engagement party at their home but didn't mention planning/throwing it. I don't mind planning, I am very much a planner and, admittedly, a bit of a control freak (not in a mean way, just a very organized way), so I love party planning. But then I read on here that throwing a party for yourself can be seen as tacky? We aren't asking for or excepting gifts.

    We just really want a chance for our friends and family to get together and meet each other and mingle. Also since his sisters wedding will be over its finally our chance to celebrate a little bit.

    Is it weird for us to do our own engagement party?
    Yes, its rude to throw parties in your own honor. Plus, if you were engaged late last year I'd say the time to throw an engagement party has long since passed. 
    image
    southernbelle0915[Deleted User]JerseyBeachGal22[Deleted User]
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Unfortunately you can't throw yourself an engagement party.  It looks very tacky to throw a party in your own honor.  You can host a get together, but don't call it an engagement party.  It's also way too late to have an engagement party anyways.  There is nothing wrong with having a BBQ and inviting your family and friends just to come and hang out.  Goal of mingling accomplished without looking tacky.  

    There was also no reason you had to wait for your SIL's wedding to happen to start planning your own.  Everyone gets one day to celebrate--their wedding day.  They don't get to monopolize an entire year.  It was terribly rude of her to act that way.  


    image
    [Deleted User]
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Your SIL sounds crazy.  I can't believe you actually followed her order of you not having any wedding festivities before her wedding!

    But no you can't throw your own engagement party.  It is seen as tacky to throw a party in your own honor.  Also, you got engaged last year, the time for an engagement party would have been the month or two following your engagement.  Time to just move on and focus on your wedding plans.

    [Deleted User]
  • KatWAGKatWAG Chicago member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    No you cannot host your own engagement party. Plus, you have been engaged too long to have one. The party is supposed to take place within a few months of being engaged.
    BabyFruit Ticker
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited July 2015
    The ship has sailed on having an engagement party. You needed to do that a long time ago. Stop listening to your SIL and following her orders. She does not decide when your wedding events take place, and if she gets mad about it, she only makes herself look like an ass. 

    You can still have a party and get together and mingle (although I never really understand why some couples feel the need to have their families get to know each other). Just don't call it an engagement party. Invite people over for a BBQ like you would for any random weekend BBQ. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    [Deleted User]
  • I don't know why you actually obliged your SIL's request.... she sounds a little crazy/controlling.

    Anyway, engagement parties should happen within a couple of months of when the couple gets engaged. Also, they should not be thrown by the couple - it's tacky and very much a "LOOK AT MEEE!!!" show. So 1) it's too late to have one for y'all; and 2) you shouldn't throw it yourself anyway.

    Unfortunately, it looks like this isn't happening. I'm sorry. It's not the end of the world - I didn't have an engagement party either. No big deal.
    *********************************************************************************

    image
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    First, your FSIL sounds crazy. 

    Second, yes, it's tacky to throw your own engagement party. And you've already been engaged for at least half a year. 

    If you want to get everyone together, just have a party. Call it a BBQ or whatever. 

  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    Your FSIL sounds BSC, but it would be inappropriate for you to throw your own engagement party.

    You can throw a party, but it needs not to be in your own honor.  If there isn't anyone to throw an engagement party for you, then the boat has sailed.  I'm sorry about that.

  • Ditto PPs with it's too late to have an engagement party and you shouldn't host it yourself. 

    You could just have people over for an informal summer BBQ if you want your friends and family to mingle. My FI and I had a meet the parents dinner where we took our parents out to Hibachi after we got engaged to meet each other. It was a lot of fun and low stress.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards