Budget Weddings

Our parents, our cats, our living room, that's it. Anyone done this?

Hi all.  I'm new here so I hope this is the right place to post this.

We are not engaged yet but have the ring and it will be happening shortly.  BF is 29 and I am 25 and we have been together for a little over 4 years.

Basically, due to some family drama on his side we have decided it may be best to have a small wedding not too long after getting engaged and only invite our parents and my siblings.  We looked into destination weddings but they looked expensive... so we thought about a courthouse wedding.  Then my mom suggested doing the wedding at our house (that way we could include our kitties!).  I'm a little worried about the event not being very special since I won't really have an aisle to walk down and I was really looking forward to getting to do a first dance and a dance with my dad (those were the things I was looking forward to the most).  I had songs picked out for each.  My BF assures me that we can have a VR at some point, but it's not like I can be sure of that.

I was just wondering if anyone had a wedding like this, what it was like if so, how you made it special, if you had any regrets about it, and what your budget ended up being, etc?  TIA for any help.  :)

Re: Our parents, our cats, our living room, that's it. Anyone done this?

  • Much as you'd like to include the cats, you also mention wanting more of the traditional "stuff".  You only get one wedding, and cats are stuck up anyway  (they may not like your dress or shoe choice and snub their nose LOL - jk!!!).  What about a DW close to home?  DW's don't have to be expensive nor far away.  You could even use a "pet friendly" hotel in their conference room or executive suite to have your walk down the aisle, dance floor area, First Dance, Father/Daughter dance, and catered meal for not that much at all while giving you the "feel" of a more traditional wedding.  And, with only having I'm guessing around 10 guests (unless you have a lot more siblings/their spouses), it shouldn't break the bank.  The biggest expense other than your dress and his suit is going to be the officiant and a meal.  If you use a hotel that has their own restaurant you'll be covered and you may be able to have them bring in a small cake without having to lift a finger on that detail.  The best thing to do since you've got a guest list already decided, do some calling around and price it out!  Google small conference centers in the areas you're interested in and you'll find tons of options. 

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  • AddieCake said:
    If you have the ring and are discussing wedding plans, you're engaged. It's fine to have a small wedding at home, but you say you want other "special" moments and that you can have a VR later. Why? Why not do it the way you want now or later instead of doing both?
    So much this:  planning one event will be so much simpler (and cheaper) than two.
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I'm with Addie on this.  If you want all the "special" touches of a "traditional" wedding, why not just have a "traditional" wedding now?  You only get one wedding day so you may as well make it what you want, not hope to have a do over later.

  • It sounds like you've decided to get married...congrats! You are engaged. A piece of jewelry and a sappy proposal do not make an engagement (no matter what rom-coms tell you). All it takes is two people agreeing to get married, which is sounds like you've done. So congrats to you and your fiance!

    Anyway, having a vow renewal later and trying to turn it into "the wedding you never had" is silly. You're not married yet, so it's not like you don't have an opportunity to have the wedding you want now. 

    You can still have it at home and do a father/daughter dance and a first dance with your FI. Just push aside the living room furniture. If you want something more formal, rent a private room at a restaurant and do it there (of course, you'll have to sacrifice your cats being involved, but honestly that seems worth it IMHO).

    MesmrEwe[Deleted User]CMGragain
  • The at home wedding you describe was very traditional - in 1918!  You are describing my paternal grandmother's wedding, and most of her friends' weddings, too.  If you decide to do this, then you are being traditional.
    Weddings with dancing weren't all that common with most families until the 1970s.  Before that, church weddings were normal with cake and punch receptions.  Many ethnic groups have different traditions.
    Don't count on a vow renewal down the road,  VRs are not second weddings, anyway.  The rules are different.  Wait and have the wedding you really want to have.
  • Something to think about with the VR, depending on how far down the road you have it, you're still not guaranteed the father/daughter dance. And chances are, you will have danced with your husband so it's no longer your first dance as husband and wife. If those things are important to you then you should plan a small event that will allow you to have those things. You can do a simple ceremony in a private room at a local resturant, who can set up a few chairs to give you the isle to walk down. Have a intimate ceremony, some photos and host everyone for food based on the time of day you have the cermony. You can then have music set up, even if it's through an ipod and a bluetooth speaker to do the special dances. This would allow you to have your parents, siblings and if you wanted, best friends. If you give everyone a two week notice of the event, you limit any drama but don't miss out on some of the traditional things you've been dreaming of.


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