When is too soon to start planning?

Knottie06242703 · December 2014

I just got engaged on 12/21/2014 and we have set our wedding for the summer of 2016. Is it too soon to start planning? Can I pick my wedding party now or do I need to wait? Can someone give me some advice? Just a little overwhelmed.

nicole4793 · December 2014

IMO, you can start planning now if you want to! FI and I got engaged 12/24/2013 and booked our venue for our 10/17/2015 wedding the week after. We waited a few months to ask our bridal party, but I would definitely recommend waiting (women on this site usually say a year or under).

FI and I booked the big stuff first. We went the route of church wedding and reception afterwards. If you're getting married in a church, book the church before the reception venue. There shouldn't be an issue with the date you picked, but you never know! Even though we are about 10 months out, we still haven't booked the florist and limo and haven't ordered attire for the wedding party. I would start by looking at ideas online for everything such as your dress, BM dresses, themes, etc. Although I'm not a huge fan of Pinterest, it helped me to envision my wedding and tweak it to make my own. Good luck with your planning!!

plainjane0415 · December 2014

You definitely have some time. One thing you may consider doing is securing your ceremony and reception venue, since sometimes places can book up fast. Other than those two things (and you don't even have to do those right away if you don't want ) I think you are good to just sit back and enjoy this special time! Congrats!!!

mikenberger · December 2014

You have time

First things first:

Budget. Whatever you and your fiance can afford. If parents, aunts, uncles, grandparents, dogs, cats whatever decide to contribute, that's great! But plan on whatever you two can pay for.

Then your guest list.

So now you know what money you have and how many people (roughly) you're going to have. Now you can start planning. I know where I am, getting your venue 18 months in advance is a good place to start. My venue was booked for May-Sept 2015 by March 2014. Your bridal party doesn't need to know they're in your bridal party until 9 months or so in advance. People can change as can relationships/friendships.

Congrats!

CMGragain · December 2014

Knottie06242703 said:

I just got engaged on 12/21/2014 and we have set our wedding for the summer of 2016. Is it too soon to start planning? Can I pick my wedding party now or do I need to wait? Can someone give me some advice? Just a little overwhelmed.

NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Do NOT make any firm plans until mid-2015, and don't select your bridal party until about 8 months before the ceremony. We get so many tearful posts from brides who jumped the gun and invited people to be bridesmaids, but the relationship changed.

Do this over the next six months:

1. Budget (Remember, nobody is obligated to pay for your wedding except you!)
2. Guest list
3. If you are Catholic, talk to your priests ASAP.

Be very cautious about Bridal TV shows and Bridal magazines. Their purpose is to make you want to spend MORE MONEY! A real wedding requires two people who are legally able to be married, a license, an officiant (except in CO and PA) and legal witnesses. No white, pouffy dress required. Consider ALL your options before deciding on the style and cost of your wedding.

kmomac · December 2014

Our wedding is the summer of 2016 as well!

We are having a DW so we really started researching right away to get cost estimates and ideas of where we wanted to be. It turned out that our perfect venue was able to book us for our date and take our deposit. You may just want to start getting an idea of places. Many don't book until 12 months out, but if you do research now, you can pull the trigger on that 12 month mark.

We also came up with a tentative guest list to get an idea of numbers. It allowed us to talk about our budget and talk with our parents about contributions so that we have time to plan/save accordingly.

We have also had a couple of sit-down conversations, just the two of us, to decide what we want, what we can do without, and get a vision of our wedding together. Other than that, there are a couple of bridal shows I'm going to with some friends that got engaged and my mom, but those are more for the experience rather than scoping out vendors and such.

Knottie06242703 · December 2014

Thank you for all of the responses. I feel much better about a lot of it now. We are paying for the majority of the wedding ourselves so all of the advice helps. We are planning a rustic/country wedding hopefully in a barn/ranch setting. Congrats to all of you!!! Thank you for the help.

jerseykisses · January 2015

I'm so glad you asked this!!! I just got engaged myself and am curious as to the timeframe for which to do things- this thread helped!!

melhock8452 · January 2015

I got engaged the day after op and put the deposit down in a venue yesterday. In my area venues book FAST! Our venue was already booked for every Saturday in May and June of 2016 and it isn't even a very popular venue (only had 11 weddings in 2014). Other than booking the venue I'm now going to take a step back and wait for the rest. I have a friend who will be engaged for 18 months when she gets married in June and she said she is just feeling antsy bc she planned everything so early!

Knottie06242703 · January 2015

Congrats!!! Happy planning

Knottie06069723 · January 2015

I got engaged in September and we are getting married on 6/10/16. I am a planner and my fiancé is a do-er so we sat down and decided to plan everything out extremely early. (Being a planner also means that I stress easily.) We also are both full-time students, full-time parents to a 5 year old son and a 2 year old daughter, and we both work (and we are remodeling our house). We agreed to have our wedding completed by late November of 2015 at the latest that way we can focus on our honeymoon and I can be stress-free. We booked our venue for the wedding and reception on 1/16/15 to secure our date. (They are already booked pretty far into next year.) My fiancé has his best man and I have my maid of honor, but that's all we have done with the bridal party. Plan at a pace that works for you!

southernbelle0915 · January 2015

No, don't ask your bridal party. They'll get asked about 10 months prior to the wedding date.

What you can do now is get a budget together. Decide how much you can afford to spend. Don't ask anyone for money. If someone offers down the road, great - upgrade stuff.

Once you decide on a budget, make an ideal guest list - keeping in mind you may (probably will) have to cut people down the road due to budget and/or venue size.

If you're getting married in a church, find out what times their wedding services are so that you can avoid the dreaded gap. If they can only do a 1pm ceremony, then you'll be looking at at 2pm reception. If you're not ok with that, look for another church.

Shop for venues. Right now, you should have a decent selection for venues. Pick one that's under budget in case you have unexpected costs. Pick one that's big enough to seat all of your guests with room for a dance floor (if having), food set up, cake table, DJ, etc. Find out if the venue has preferred vendors. Make sure you're ok with those vendors or the venue is flexible before you sign. Otherwise you may fall in love with a DJ but be unable to use them. Go over the terms of the contract with a fine tooth comb. Ask questions, negotiate - you're the customer. Then sign it.

ETF words

[Deleted User] · June 2015

We started planning right away. Our venue was booked in March 2015 for a May 2017 wedding (we actually snagged the last weekend in May- people are planning early now!). We also chose our vendors (because we knew what we wanted and wanted to lock in prices to have an idea of what we needed to save). We also asked our bridal party, which many think is a huge no this early in the game. However, the group we chose have been in our lives forever and include all family and very close friends who we have grown up with. We are still young, so it gives those people we asked time to save money as the wedding is out of town for most of them.

thatgirl2 · July 2015

Man I wish I could make my FMIL and fiance read this post. We're 14 months out now, got engaged about 2 months ago. I've started TRYING to plan, but everyone seems to think I'm jumping the gun...So, now I'm questioning-- AM I??

My fiance and I are paying for the majority of the wedding, so I'm trying to save money where ever possible (a big way is by planning ahead, or so I've read). Luckily, we had a friend offer her home for the reception. It's gorgeous and water front with stunning sunsets for the reception. BUT, after asking for a month, I just got the final guest list from my FMIL (and still need my family to review for additions), we're at 90 guests. I don't see who we can cut and I think the max my friend's home will allow is 70 (I don't know if I want to gamble the RSVP no/yes ratio).

Two months ago, before my friend's offer, I tried to book our intended venue. My family kept acting like I was being neurotic-- even when I told them the venue was almost booked solid for 16 months out. I have a pretty awful feeling that I'll point out the number to my FMIL and she'll say yes, we need to find another venue... And, I'm pretty sure that won't happen until September or October when the families sit down together (our family is scattered across the country). So at around 10 months from our intended date, I expect to be scrambling for a venue since I can't get anyone to listen to me.

At this point, I've tried to get their attention/point out the facts that people plan weddings 12+ months out, but it's like talking to brick walls. I'm kind of at a loss right now. Any advice would be hugely appreciated as I feel like the internet world knows weddings are planned early, but my family thinks you can throw it together in 6 months.

kimmiinthemitten · July 2015

A lot depends on your region. In Metro Detroit, 12 of the 14 places I spoke with had 1 of my 2 December 2016 dates booked. However, I am confused as to why you won't have your guest list until you sit down with both families. If I were you, I would sit down with FI and create your own list, send it to the families, ask for input by xx date (2 weeks) and then cut it off. Its not unreasonable to set deadlines that you are comfortable with assuming you and FI are hosting the ceremony and reception.

thatgirl2 · July 2015

Unfortunately, that's what we did. FI and I created the list and sent it to family. Everyone just keeps reminding me, sue and joe only have 4 months to plan...

I want to explode and explain, I specifically picked a longer engagement, because 4 months to plan would be a nightmare for me. I think I have things straightened out a little, but it's taken some nagging.

Viczaesar · July 2015

thatgirl2 said:

Man I wish I could make my FMIL and fiance read this post. We're 14 months out now, got engaged about 2 months ago. I've started TRYING to plan, but everyone seems to think I'm jumping the gun...So, now I'm questioning-- AM I??

My fiance and I are paying for the majority of the wedding, so I'm trying to save money where ever possible (a big way is by planning ahead, or so I've read). Luckily, we had a friend offer her home for the reception. It's gorgeous and water front with stunning sunsets for the reception. BUT, after asking for a month, I just got the final guest list from my FMIL (and still need my family to review for additions), we're at 90 guests. I don't see who we can cut and I think the max my friend's home will allow is 70 (I don't know if I want to gamble the RSVP no/yes ratio).

Two months ago, before my friend's offer, I tried to book our intended venue. My family kept acting like I was being neurotic-- even when I told them the venue was almost booked solid for 16 months out. I have a pretty awful feeling that I'll point out the number to my FMIL and she'll say yes, we need to find another venue... And, I'm pretty sure that won't happen until September or October when the families sit down together (our family is scattered across the country). So at around 10 months from our intended date, I expect to be scrambling for a venue since I can't get anyone to listen to me.

At this point, I've tried to get their attention/point out the facts that people plan weddings 12+ months out, but it's like talking to brick walls. I'm kind of at a loss right now. Any advice would be hugely appreciated as I feel like the internet world knows weddings are planned early, but my family thinks you can throw it together in 6 months.

Well, if you want to use your friend's house as the venue the first thing you need to do is talk to your friend and find out exactly how many people it can accommodate. Keep in mind that you need to include you and your FI as well as vendors (dj, photographer or photographers, etc). Do not invite more than the number of people that can be accommodated! If the space only holds 70 people, do not invite more than 70 people (including you and your vendors). Also keep in mind that you will need to provide chairs and tables for all guests, you'll probably need a sound system, you'll need to figure out what to do about bathrooms and parking and noise ordinances, you'll need a back up plan in case of inclement weather, etc.

Once you know how many people you can have at the venue AND afford to host them fully, then you start working on the guest list. If you and your FI are the ones paying for your wedding you get to control the guest list too. I highly suggest you give each set of parents a limited number of invitation spots (e.g. if the maximum is 70 guests, 30 for you and your FI, 20 for your parents for their friends and family, and 20 for your FI's parents for their friends and family).

thatgirl2 · July 2015

Viczaesar- Thanks for the input! The guest list is hard because both of our families are really only inviting family. No one has been like OMG I want 100 people (luckily). It's crazy how small I think my family is until I add them all up. We've also addressed a lot of those issues you pointed out with the house as a venue. The owner's of the house have already had after wedding celebration there too, so they know what they're getting into (I think lol)! They have sound systems and some of the past decorations.

I feel worlds better now than when I originally posted. My FMIL has (and already had) an alternate plan, I just didn't know. I keep forgetting almost everyone around me has planned weddings, so they're way more comfortable about all of this than I am. I'm still nervous about everything.

And, in case anyone else is in the same boat (Destination wedding, how many RSVPs will I get, so what venue):
A friend of our's sent STD's and then called close friend's and family to get an idea of who already thought they could or couldn't come. Also, after sending the formal invites, she asked for a more advanced RSVP deadline (and I'm pretty sure did an A/B list). I have several family members that 100% understand my wedding pains and will tell me if they think they can/can't come to the wedding. It's amazing looking back at my posts now and how much better I feel about all of this planning. It's all coming together

Bigwands · August 2015

Well shit. Now I'm worried. We're looking at May 2017 too and I thought we had plenty of time

lhill128 · October 2015

I got engaged 9/18/15 and so far all I have done is book the venue and spoke with priest. I am Catholic and there is a lot of steps and classes to take before booking with Church. They told me they won't book the church until Jan or Feb for 2017. Our wedding date is 7/1/17. I already picked all of my bridesmaids...most our family and long time friends so I'm not worried about that. Groom picked 4 out of his 6 groomsmen. He is still deciding his last 2... he has plenty of time. I've saved photos of ideas I like and flower arrangements. Most of the details wont be worked out until about a year out. Dress shopping and all of that I will start at about 12 months before wedding! Happy planning

Knottie03885489 · October 2015

Start planning ASAP

people/places get booked quick
I got engaged August 2014 and booked our venue dec 2014 for our summer 2016 wedding.
Good luck!

When is too soon to start planning?

Re: When is too soon to start planning?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards