Venting about people who over annoy you with their crap before YOUR wedding

[Deleted User] · July 2015

So I had accidentally ASSUMED - my fault I know - that people who have already gotten married would be the easiest people to deal with for my wedding. OMG was I wrong. Why is it that some people bother you WITH EVERY LITTLE QUESTION AND DETAIL instead of just being an adult and making a dang decision themselves???? I have TOO MUCH TO DO that is important for the wedding to take place then to deal with your piddly little crap. Anyone else have this issue?

Thanks for letting me vent in a safe place instead of TO this person directly!

luckya23 · July 2015

I had all kinds of people asking me for hotel suggestions... beyond what I booked for myself (and made a block at), what the hell do I know about the other hotels in this area that I have rarely visited??

julieanne912 · July 2015

luckya23 said:

I had all kinds of people asking me for hotel suggestions... beyond what I booked for myself (and made a block at), what the hell do I know about the other hotels in this area that I have rarely visited??

I put 4 hotel options (one of which has a block reserved) on my website. They range from $100-160 a night. If someone asks me for more than that, well, I might be pretty annoyed.

huskypuppy14 · July 2015

Can you give some examples? I didn't really have this problem.

luckya23 · July 2015

julieanne912 said:

luckya23 said:

I had all kinds of people asking me for hotel suggestions... beyond what I booked for myself (and made a block at), what the hell do I know about the other hotels in this area that I have rarely visited??

I put 4 hotel options (one of which has a block reserved) on my website. They range from $100-160 a night. If someone asks me for more than that, well, I might be pretty annoyed.

I had people asking if any have breakfast included, what's closest to the reception (look at a map please), wanting a Marriot brand (call them!)...

I booked the one closest to the church / rehearsal dinner / DH's parents' house. If anyone wanted to stay closer to the reception, there were all kinds of hotels so I didn't want to choose a price range for anyone. They have websites for these things!

julieanne912 · July 2015

luckya23 said:

julieanne912 said:

luckya23 said:

I had all kinds of people asking me for hotel suggestions... beyond what I booked for myself (and made a block at), what the hell do I know about the other hotels in this area that I have rarely visited??

I put 4 hotel options (one of which has a block reserved) on my website. They range from $100-160 a night. If someone asks me for more than that, well, I might be pretty annoyed.

I had people asking if any have breakfast included, what's closest to the reception (look at a map please), wanting a Marriot brand (call them!)...
I booked the one closest to the church / rehearsal dinner / DH's parents' house. If anyone wanted to stay closer to the reception, there were all kinds of hotels so I didn't want to choose a price range for anyone. They have websites for these things!

Yeah on my site I put the distance from the reception (.5 mile, 2 miles, etc). Anything beyond that, they can research themselves!

randomslove · July 2015

"You guys are having a winter wedding? What should people wear?"

"Clothes. Warm clothes when you're outside, but probably part that you can discard for when you go inside. Like one of those jacket-things."

hellohkb · July 2015

I've found that family and friends who are married were actually giving me way too many demands and "This is how it should be because this is how WE did it".

princessleia22 · July 2015

With me it was mainly my bridesmaids. I told them wear any short, blue dress (any material, any shade of blue, they didn't need to match each other). They were baffled that I didn't order them to wear a specific dress. Then it was "what shoes should we wear?", "what jewelry should we wear?", "how should we do our hair?", "what color should we paint our nails?". To be honest, both my BM's did have very matching BM's at their wedding, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

The rest of our guests were surprisingly non-complicated and didn't ask many questions.

NowIamMrsKlein · July 2015

princessleia22 said:

With me it was mainly my bridesmaids. I told them wear any short, blue dress (any material, any shade of blue, they didn't need to match each other). They were baffled that I didn't order them to wear a specific dress. Then it was "what shoes should we wear?", "what jewelry should we wear?", "how should we do our hair?", "what color should we paint our nails?". To be honest, both my BM's did have very matching BM's at their wedding, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

The rest of our guests were surprisingly non-complicated and didn't ask many questions.

I'm dealing with the same. I texted my girls the other day because my stylist wanted a general idea of what people wanted done to their hair so her and I could come up with a day of timeline. I am paying for the girls to all get their hair done. My text read 'Hey girls, just need a general idea of what you are thinking of for wedding hair. Basically just tell me Updo, half do or down. I'm meeting with the stylist to get everything paid for and she needs to know how much time to allot'

All three of them responded with something along the lines of 'well how do you want me to do my hair' 'if you're getting an up do, should I do something different so we dont look similar' ' what is your preference for how to do our hair' etc

And I was just like ahhhhh. I just want you to feel pretty! Do your hair however you like! I really couldnt care less about what the style is as long as you feel pretty!

And they still responded with "well you are the bride, so let us know if you have a preference"

*head, meet desk*

julieanne912 · July 2015

princessleia22 said:

With me it was mainly my bridesmaids. I told them wear any short, blue dress (any material, any shade of blue, they didn't need to match each other). They were baffled that I didn't order them to wear a specific dress. Then it was "what shoes should we wear?", "what jewelry should we wear?", "how should we do our hair?", "what color should we paint our nails?". To be honest, both my BM's did have very matching BM's at their wedding, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

The rest of our guests were surprisingly non-complicated and didn't ask many questions.

My MOH has been a little bit like this. I'm seriously like, wear whatever you want and is comfortable, and she keeps saying "I'll wear whatever you want me to wear". So, I spent an hour the other day emailing her links to dresses I thought were nice and would look good on her. She wrote back which ones she liked, and said "well I'm not a big fan of lace, but I'll wear that if you want me to" UGH!! Wear whatever you want, seriously! So now we're going shopping in stores this weekend.

KatWAG · July 2015

Monkers15 said:

So I had accidentally ASSUMED - my fault I know - that people who have already gotten married would be the easiest people to deal with for my wedding. OMG was I wrong. Why is it that some people bother you WITH EVERY LITTLE QUESTION AND DETAIL instead of just being an adult and making a dang decision themselves???? I have TOO MUCH TO DO that is important for the wedding to take place then to deal with your piddly little crap. Anyone else have this issue?

Thanks for letting me vent in a safe place instead of TO this person directly!

JIC

I think you might be overreacting, by just a touch.

novella1186 · July 2015

princessleia22 said:

With me it was mainly my bridesmaids. I told them wear any short, blue dress (any material, any shade of blue, they didn't need to match each other). They were baffled that I didn't order them to wear a specific dress. Then it was "what shoes should we wear?", "what jewelry should we wear?", "how should we do our hair?", "what color should we paint our nails?". To be honest, both my BM's did have very matching BM's at their wedding, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

The rest of our guests were surprisingly non-complicated and didn't ask many questions.

Same. I would get texts; "Is it ok if I wear flats?" "Can I wear gold gladiator sandals?" (with a floor-length dress so no one will even see the shoes anyway) "Can I wear turquoise earrings?" "How do you want our hair?" "Can I wear false eye lashes?"

I can't even count how many times I said, "I don't care. Whatever you want to do is fine." Argh!

And one of my BMs drove me extra nuts because she also gave me, "What should I wear to the RD?" "What should my husband wear to the RD?" "What are you wearing to the RD?" "Should I bring a pair of flats with for the reception?" "What time are people coming into town?" "What time are you coming into town?" "Are people carpooling to the RD?" "How much parking is there?"

I love her but I wanted to ban her from asking me questions.

princessleia22 · July 2015

julieanne912 said:

princessleia22 said:

With me it was mainly my bridesmaids. I told them wear any short, blue dress (any material, any shade of blue, they didn't need to match each other). They were baffled that I didn't order them to wear a specific dress. Then it was "what shoes should we wear?", "what jewelry should we wear?", "how should we do our hair?", "what color should we paint our nails?". To be honest, both my BM's did have very matching BM's at their wedding, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

The rest of our guests were surprisingly non-complicated and didn't ask many questions.

My MOH has been a little bit like this. I'm seriously like, wear whatever you want and is comfortable, and she keeps saying "I'll wear whatever you want me to wear". So, I spent an hour the other day emailing her links to dresses I thought were nice and would look good on her. She wrote back which ones she liked, and said "well I'm not a big fan of lace, but I'll wear that if you want me to" UGH!! Wear whatever you want, seriously! So now we're going shopping in stores this weekend.

Yep, and it didn't matter how many times I told them that it didn't matter to me. I wanted a simple, low stress wedding and didn't care about little details. My BM's ended up being my biggest stresser with trying to get nit-picky over their details. I get that they were trying to help make my day "perfect", and I love them for that, but if the bride says "it doesn't matter", just believe it.

luckya23 · July 2015

princessleia22 said:

With me it was mainly my bridesmaids. I told them wear any short, blue dress (any material, any shade of blue, they didn't need to match each other). They were baffled that I didn't order them to wear a specific dress. Then it was "what shoes should we wear?", "what jewelry should we wear?", "how should we do our hair?", "what color should we paint our nails?". To be honest, both my BM's did have very matching BM's at their wedding, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

The rest of our guests were surprisingly non-complicated and didn't ask many questions.

I only had my MOH, and the amount of time it took her to decide on a dress, and she actually decided the morning of the wedding out of two (not the one I would have chosen), I should have just picked something at david's bridal for her. At one point she had 5 dresses at home "as back ups"!

novella1186 · July 2015

luckya23 said:

princessleia22 said:

With me it was mainly my bridesmaids. I told them wear any short, blue dress (any material, any shade of blue, they didn't need to match each other). They were baffled that I didn't order them to wear a specific dress. Then it was "what shoes should we wear?", "what jewelry should we wear?", "how should we do our hair?", "what color should we paint our nails?". To be honest, both my BM's did have very matching BM's at their wedding, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

The rest of our guests were surprisingly non-complicated and didn't ask many questions.

I only had my MOH, and the amount of time it took her to decide on a dress, and she actually decided the morning of the wedding out of two (not the one I would have chosen), I should have just picked something at david's bridal for her. At one point she had 5 dresses at home "as back ups"!

Lol one of my BMs did this! (The same one who was Question Master). She kept ordering multiple dresses, she'd try them all on, send me pictures (I liked all of them and always told her so) and then she'd return them, decide on a different one, order 1 more, and so on. I think she brought 2 or 3 to the rental house the day before the wedding and decided from there.

redheadbride15 · July 2015

I have a really dear (but somewhat needy) friend who called or texted me every.single.day. the week before my wedding. Keep in mind that we didn't have a bridal party because I really wanted to simplify things so these are not bridesmaid questions. These are all ACTUAL messages she sent me (I just looked at my text history).

Friend: "What should I wear?"
Me: "Whatever you like."
Friend:"How about this outfit?" (with attached selfie)
Me: "That's beautiful"
Friend:"Or maybe this one?" (with attached selfie)
Me: "That one's nice too."
Friend:"What shoes should I wear? Do I HAVE to wear heels? I hate heels."
Me: "Wear whatever shoes you are comfortable in."
Friend: "But are these shoes fancy enough for this dress?" (with attached photo)
Me: "Sure. Those shoes are fine."
Friend: "Where should I eat dinner Friday night?"
Me: um... use the Google and find a restaurant
Friend: "Will there be parking?"
Me: "Yes. It's in the middle of the countryside. There is TONS of free parking everywhere you go."
Friend: "What time should I leave the hotel for the ceremony?"
Me: "It's across the street. It should only take a few minutes to walk."

ETA @novella1186 This is my best friend from college so she definitely would have been a BM if I had had a bridal party, but she totally would have been like your BM you described! I'm soooooo glad I didn't have a bridal party.

MissKittyDanger · July 2015

I had something similar. I just gave them variety of options.

"Black dress. Cocktail length. No spaghetti straps for no bras showing"

- they ended up with same dress because it actually looked amazing on all of them!

"what jewelry?"

- I said i didn't care as long as it was simple. I'm just wearing a simple chain with a pendant, my ring and a bracelet {all silver since that's what I wear}

"nails?"

- since theme colours are black and white with red accents, go with that idea.

I'm doing an accent nail on my ring finger for both hands because that's just my style. My bachelorette is at a spa and we're getting our nails done.

"hair?"

- one of my bridesmaids is a hairstylist and she's doing people's hair, so talk to her what you want

"shoes?"

- comfortable. ideal black but if you have nude that's fine

charcoalandblush · July 2015

SoontobeMrsKlein said:

princessleia22 said:

With me it was mainly my bridesmaids. I told them wear any short, blue dress (any material, any shade of blue, they didn't need to match each other). They were baffled that I didn't order them to wear a specific dress. Then it was "what shoes should we wear?", "what jewelry should we wear?", "how should we do our hair?", "what color should we paint our nails?". To be honest, both my BM's did have very matching BM's at their wedding, so I shouldn't have been too surprised.

The rest of our guests were surprisingly non-complicated and didn't ask many questions.

I'm dealing with the same. I texted my girls the other day because my stylist wanted a general idea of what people wanted done to their hair so her and I could come up with a day of timeline. I am paying for the girls to all get their hair done. My text read 'Hey girls, just need a general idea of what you are thinking of for wedding hair. Basically just tell me Updo, half do or down. I'm meeting with the stylist to get everything paid for and she needs to know how much time to allot'

All three of them responded with something along the lines of 'well how do you want me to do my hair' 'if you're getting an up do, should I do something different so we dont look similar' ' what is your preference for how to do our hair' etc

And I was just like ahhhhh. I just want you to feel pretty! Do your hair however you like! I really couldnt care less about what the style is as long as you feel pretty!

And they still responded with "well you are the bride, so let us know if you have a preference"

*head, meet desk*

Ughhhhh same.

I'm not paying for my girls' hair, but gave them the option. 4 of them said yes, 2 said they'd do their own hair. Stylist wants to know who wants what so we can figure out how much time we need to fit everyone in.

So I tell everyone "hey can you text or email my hair stylist what you want so she can make the schedule?"

They all respond (separately): "Whatever you want me to do."

Me: "You can do whatever you want."

Them: "Well what are you doing?"

Me: "An updo, like a fancy bun type thing"

Them: "Ok so do you want us to wear ours down so we're different than you?"

Me: "Up to you, wear it up if you want. Or down. Whatever makes you happy."

Them: "What is [other bridesmaid] doing with her hair? I'll do whatever [other bridesmaid] is doing."

Me: "I DON'T FUCKING KNOW BECAUSE NONE OF Y'ALL WILL DECIDE!"

As rude as it is, sometimes I feel like dictating would have just been easier, because I have now had variations of that conversation 4 separate times.

Same with shoes. Eventually all 6 of them asked me, some multiple times, and I got so tired of saying I don't care that I just said "Nude. Everybody wear nude." Followed by "What shade of nude?" Could not care less. You are not an idiot. If you walk into Payless and are like "those shoes are nude" then I trust that they are nude enough for the probably zero photos I will have of your feet on my wedding day.

Venting about people who over annoy you with their crap before YOUR wedding

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