Homophobe guest
I hope I am posting this in the right place. I wasn't sure where else would be appropriate.
I have a "friend" who I served in the military with who I was planning on inviting to the wedding. (Actually, he invited himself and I was okay with it but didn't give him a yes or no, just left it alone.) Anyway, he has been posting a ton of anti-gay rhetoric on Facebook lately. My issue is that my brother is gay (I don't think friend knows that. He's met my brother once and I don't think who he was sleeping with came up in conversation) and my brother-in-law (brother's partner) is officiating my wedding. I also have MANY gay friends who will be in attendance.
Do I say something to this friend? Not invite him? Hope for the best? His posts are getting more extreme and I'm just imagining him standing up at my wedding and calling people "sinners" or something.
Edited for clarity.
Re: Homophobe guest
Personally, as somebody with a transgender brother and many very close gay friends, I wouldn't even be friends with someone like this. I can't imagine being even tolerant of someone so hateful, but, I don't want to judge you/make you feel bad for being friends with this guy. I just would at least make sure he knows where I stand on this, if I were in your position
I wouldn't invite him and I'd be inclined to tell him why. It would also be done in the same breath of me not wanting to be friends with him anymore. Ditch the loser from your life.
Like others have said, i'd even delete him off facebook. at the very least i would put him on the most limited and restricted list ever on facebook and not post anything wedding related on facebook
Look at it this way, what matters more to you? maintaining a friendship with this guy, or loving and respecting your brother and other loved ones who he could potentially REALLY hurt (let it be emotionally or whatever else) what if this guy gets drunk and starts ranting on etc. i dunno man, just doesn't sound like a good call... cut him out, you have enough friends and loved ones in your life.. you don't need him
It sounds like you really aren't that close and he's a guy you "used to be friends with".
If you're not that close with him, I wouldn't invite him. Doesn't mean you cannot continue your current relationship as it is.
If you ARE close with him and you want him there, I would invite him and I agree that I think it's appropriate to have a talk with him. He's been pretty open about his feelings, posting them so publicy on facebook, so I think it's fair game that these opinions can be openly discussed. "Hey friend, I've noticed a lot of the posts you've made lately in FB. While everyone has a right to their own opinions, these posts make me uncomfortable. I would like to invite you to my wedding but I want you to know that I have many gay friends and family members and the expression of any sort of opinions that you've been sharing on FB about the topic will not be welcome".
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