Addressing Non-Married Invitations
Calling all etiquette knotties!
This has been a long debated topic between my fiancé and I, and we have yet to come up with the actual etiquette for this... Just for ease, we will call the two guests Joe Jones and Sally Smith. (by the way, it took me way to long to come up with two fake names.. this green tea is not strong enough.)
So Joe Jones and Sally Smith have been in a relationship for a while and live together (unmarried). We are friends with Joe Jones and know that he will, more than likely, bring Sally Smith as his guest. Question is, do we address the invitation to Joe Jones and Sally Smith or do we address it Joe Jones and Guest? Is that offensive to people?
So! What is the proper etiquette here? Married couples get both their names on the invite while unmarried get their name and guest? Or do you still address to both people?? Any advice is greatly appreciated!
*Edit- it looks like we are stressing a lot over just one couple. For the record, out of the 300 invitations we are sending, about 150 of them will have this sort of situation going on. Just using one fake couple as an example.
Re: Addressing Non-Married Invitations
You should address all significant others by name. The only time you use "and guest" is when you know someone is truly single and you'd like to invite them to bring someone if they wish.
Address it as Maggie suggests.
You deal with the "what if's" if they actually happen - you shouldn't pre-emptively be offensive and exclude the names of significant others from the invitation on the premise that things might happen. They might die, too. They might turn out to be kingpins in a huge drug smuggling operation and be in prison by the time your wedding comes up. All sorts of things might happen.
That's what I was thinking too. It will save us a lot of money.
So, other than not putting guest on the invitation to someone in a relationship because it is incredibly offensive, it truly is "proper" etiquette? Not just about hurt feelings? We have a lot of judgmental judies in our families so I was curious of the formal etiquette.
Odds of their broking up in the 4-8 weeks prior to your wedding when you send out the invites are pretty low.
As they are a couple at the time the invites go out, that means they both need to be invited by name.
I have a friend whose fiancee was put on the invite "as guest." These guys aren't even that up on etiquette... but boy was his fiancee pissed.
"and guest" is only given to truly single guests, and means they can bring ANYBODY. So, if you sent the invite to Joe and guest, even though he's dating Sally, he could then decide if she can't come that he's going to bring his college roommate instead. If you invite Joe and Sally, it is only for those two, and if Sally can't come, only Joe will.
Yes, addressing all guests (including SOs) by name IS proper etiquette. Married couples are written as Mr. and Mrs. Joe Jones, or Joe and Sally Jones (the big thing here is the "and"), both on the same line.
If they are not married, you would write out both names, no "and", and put them on separate lines.
@Knottie67868874 The outer envelope is for the mailman, and only needs to be addressed to the person who would receive the mail. The inner envelope lists all guests the invitation is for. So for example, if you invite a family with 3 children, you don't need to put 5 names on the outer envelope, along with their address. The outer could have only one adults name, and then the inner envelope lists everyone.
(P.S. I wish new members would choose their own screen name versus the hundreds of Knottie #s so we know who we are talking to and it's easier to reply).