Looking for suggestions

Re: Looking for suggestions

• redheadbride15 member

  

  August 2015

  1. I don't think there's a polite way to do this. Instead, I suggest that you make accommodations for the individuals who have the breathing troubles: provide spots for fresh air that are readily accessible and seat them at the ceremony and reception with their family members who are close enough to them to know that perfumes are a problem.
  
  2. I think this is a personal thing. Do whatever you'd like. I didn't have a bridal party, so I don't have any advice here.
  
  3. It's okay to have a dry reception and I don't think you need to tell people that on the invitation. You may spread by word of mouth if you want, but do you think it will change what people do? Are you expecting people to sneak flasks into the venue?
  

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• JaxInBlue member

  

  August 2015

  1.  I would use word of mouth not a general announcement.  Think of those people you know who wear a lot of heavy perfume/cologne and let them know what the situation is.  Other than that, do your best to accommodate anyone who might be affected: seat them with people who already know not to overdo in their presence, make sure those individuals aren't seated in the center of the room and/or have a clear path to leave, and work with your venue to make sure your location is well-ventilated with moving air.  If it's a truly severe case, ask your venue if you can swap out things like bathroom soaps and lotions for unscented versions.  Keep in mind, though, it is incredibly hard to get people to change a routine such as the one they follow getting ready, and one person's mildly-scented lotion is another person's cloying scent.  Someone who doesn't apply additional perfume or cologne may still have used heavily scented hair products, body wash/soap, deodorant, etc. 
  
  2.  I would err on the side of not doing anything showy.  It puts pressure on people to say yes, and you might have someone who needs to consider their budget, work schedule, or other commitments.  Essentially, you want to make it okay for people to say no.  The only person I asked on the spot was my sister, but I already knew she was saying yes.
  
  3.  I don't think you need to make an announcement.  If you post your reception menu on your website, you could list the drink options as part of that but I don't think it's necessary.  If your venue would be punitive to those sneaking in alcohol or if alcohol is prohibited by your venue, then I might say something, either by word or mouth to those I knew were most likely to bring something or with a general statement on your website, as you might do if a venue required men to wear coat and tie, as in "XYZ Venue does not permit guests to bring outside food or drink, including alcohol."
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  August 2015

  Knottie1437445399 said:

  Wasn't sure which topic to choose since this is multi-topic but I'm sure I'll get some great responses here: 1. Due to family members having and/or COPD, we would like to discourage the use of perfumes and colognes. Where would you list this request and his would you word it? You can't tell people not to wear perfume or cologne, and even if you do, people probably will not listen. The best thing you can do is have areas for people to move to if they need fresh air. I would definitely also have extra seating at the ceremony in case people need to move if they are sitting near someone who bathed in perfume. 2. When asking your ladies to be bridesmaids and maid of honor, did you do anything fun or did you just ask them?  I have been writing everyone cards (I'm currently doing this!) I bought a pack of nicer, blank cards that gives me room to tell them how much they mean to me and how much I cherish their friendship. I don't know if that's cheesy, but I didn't feel right just being like "wanna be my bridesmaid?" 3. If we plan on a "dry" reception, should that be noted on information page sent with invitation? Nope! You don't have to tell people what drinks you will or will not be serving, just like you wouldn't tell guests that you won't be serving lobster, or something. (Where we will include food options, local hotels, etc.) Thank you for your input!

  
  

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• novella1186 member

  

  August 2015

  PPs have given great advice on 1 and 3. 

  
  

  For 2, I did not do anything special. One of my BMs was getting ready to move to Spain so she didn't even have a phone at the time. The only way to reach her was via facebook, so I facebooked her and just said, "hey wanna be my bridesmaind?" 

  
  

  After I asked them, though, I did send a cute girly card that said how excited I was, and it included paint chips from the hardware store so they could start shopping for a dress whenever they wanted to (they got to pick their own dress from any store in any style). 

  

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