Sh*t my FI/SO/H/W Says

[Deleted User] · August 2015

FI is in charge of finding a photographer, and he found a super talented guy who we both love. He said, "he charges x!" which was expensive, but it's one area I'm willing to splurge on. I looked at his pricing sheet to see what it includes, and what do I find? "$200 off for an unplugged ceremony."

Ugh...AND FI gave me the price of the package, minus $200. I immediately texted him and said this dude is great, but the price is $200 more than you said (while having minor heart palpitations, because I know what comes next).

"Well, I don't want people taking photos during our ceremony, because I want them to truly be there, so I figured we would just request no photos like he suggests and get the discount."

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!

I just sent him a string of texts about how we cannot dictate how our guests use their phones/cameras and how rude it is to suggest that, and we would just have to pay the full price (if we go with him) because there is NO way I am making one of those damn signs.

So, what kind of appalling things do your FIs/SOs/Hs/Ws say? Please tell me I am not alone here.

luckya23 · August 2015

DH agreed with his mother that the flower girls and ushers she had asked to do these jobs "were not really in the wedding party." Meanwhile the grandmother had bought them matching outfits and ties all on her own...

julieanne912 · August 2015

Well you saw my other thread I'm sure, so pretty much all of that. I'm still not sure he gets it and probably thinks I'm being crazy.

ashtsb · August 2015

Oh my fiance told me the other day when we were talking about cost of cupcakes vs sheet cakes and he says, "Oh cupcakes could be cheaper because we won't have to make sure everyone gets one!"

WAIT WHAT?! I immediately told him NO WAY what was he thinking??? Apparently he's been to a wedding where they ran out of dessert and he was totally cool with it so why won't our families be ok with it?

Sometimes I wonder how he thinks things through!

We are going with sheet cake cause I'm not rude enough to not have enough! I love him but golly he's a bit of etiquette mess.

thisismynickname2 · August 2015

In good humor: "'It's not uter-you, it's uter-us.'" He loves that Simpsons quote and brings it up when was discuss family planning.

Seriously, during wedding planning: "Well if I want surf and turf, I'm the groom! I should get it!" (Don't worry, I talked him out of that one and everyone had equal access to good food.)

kvruns · August 2015

ashtsb said:

Oh my fiance told me the other day when we were talking about cost of cupcakes vs sheet cakes and he says, "Oh cupcakes could be cheaper because we won't have to make sure everyone gets one!"

WAIT WHAT?! I immediately told him NO WAY what was he thinking??? Apparently he's been to a wedding where they ran out of dessert and he was totally cool with it so why won't our families be ok with it?

Sometimes I wonder how he thinks things through!

We are going with sheet cake cause I'm not rude enough to not have enough! I love him but golly he's a bit of etiquette mess.

I can't figure out the logic - you could also run out of sheet cake the same way as cupcakes since a sheet cake serves X and you can buy X cupcakes ?

redheadbride15 · August 2015

My DH suggested very seriously that we do a PPD... on at least 3 different occasions. *sigh*

I guess he just couldn't wait to marry me

ashtsb · August 2015

kvruns said:

ashtsb said:

Oh my fiance told me the other day when we were talking about cost of cupcakes vs sheet cakes and he says, "Oh cupcakes could be cheaper because we won't have to make sure everyone gets one!"

WAIT WHAT?! I immediately told him NO WAY what was he thinking??? Apparently he's been to a wedding where they ran out of dessert and he was totally cool with it so why won't our families be ok with it?

Sometimes I wonder how he thinks things through!

We are going with sheet cake cause I'm not rude enough to not have enough! I love him but golly he's a bit of etiquette mess.

I can't figure out the logic - you could also run out of sheet cake the same way as cupcakes since a sheet cake serves X and you can buy X cupcakes ?

I kept telling him with 250 people and buying cupcakes by the dozen we would need 21 dozen or 6 sheet cakes that feed 45 each. His logic was only get 200 cupcakes for 250 people. His math also isn't the best so that might be it too!

loveislouder · August 2015

We bought 13 dozen cupcakes for 150 people and ended up taking 4 dozen home. Thank goodness they froze well because no one wanted to take any home with them!

ashtsb · August 2015

loveislouder said:

We bought 13 dozen cupcakes for 150 people and ended up taking 4 dozen home. Thank goodness they froze well because no one wanted to take any home with them!

Goodness! If I could be guaranteed we would have that many left I'd go for them! I wish I could go around now and ask if anyone would not eat them, but you know....... :P I would much rather have to much then not enough.

luckya23 · August 2015

ashtsb said:

loveislouder said:

We bought 13 dozen cupcakes for 150 people and ended up taking 4 dozen home. Thank goodness they froze well because no one wanted to take any home with them!

Goodness! If I could be guaranteed we would have that many left I'd go for them! I wish I could go around now and ask if anyone would not eat them, but you know....... :P I would much rather have to much then not enough.

We had 60 cupcakes, and 4 were eaten.

Casadena · August 2015

luckya23 said:

ashtsb said:

loveislouder said:

We bought 13 dozen cupcakes for 150 people and ended up taking 4 dozen home. Thank goodness they froze well because no one wanted to take any home with them!

Goodness! If I could be guaranteed we would have that many left I'd go for them! I wish I could go around now and ask if anyone would not eat them, but you know....... :P I would much rather have to much then not enough.

We had 60 cupcakes, and 4 were eaten.

We had 12 dozen for 175 people and not quite 2 dozen left over.

cupcait927 · August 2015

Casadena said:

luckya23 said:

ashtsb said:

loveislouder said:

We bought 13 dozen cupcakes for 150 people and ended up taking 4 dozen home. Thank goodness they froze well because no one wanted to take any home with them!

Goodness! If I could be guaranteed we would have that many left I'd go for them! I wish I could go around now and ask if anyone would not eat them, but you know....... :P I would much rather have to much then not enough.

We had 60 cupcakes, and 4 were eaten.

We had 12 dozen for 175 people and not quite 2 dozen left over.

We went with 60 large cupcakes and had about 20 leftover. I kicked myself for not getting little take home containers for people to bring them home, but I doubt anyone would've used them anyway. H ate cupcakes for breakfast for a week after that.

peachy13 · August 2015

FI upon discovering that he can get on my sweet medical benefits once we're married: "you know we could totally get married on paper and not tell anyone until the real wedding."

Me:

redheadbride15 · August 2015

I think there is always leftover cake, regardless of what form it's in. And that's a good thing! I ordered a cake that was supposed to feed 70-80 because my guest count was 65 when I had to finalize the order a week before the wedding. We had some last-minute cancellations and ended up having 58 guests. The cake had 3 tiers and basically only the middle tier got eaten. I sent the (enormous!) bottom tier home with my parents because the extended family was staying for several days and I think they actually ate it all up. We took the top tier home and froze it. That stuff was gooooooood!

ETA by the way guys, thanks... now all I want to do is go eat cake

MissKittyDanger · August 2015

ashtsb said:

Oh my fiance told me the other day when we were talking about cost of cupcakes vs sheet cakes and he says, "Oh cupcakes could be cheaper because we won't have to make sure everyone gets one!"

WAIT WHAT?! I immediately told him NO WAY what was he thinking??? Apparently he's been to a wedding where they ran out of dessert and he was totally cool with it so why won't our families be ok with it?

Sometimes I wonder how he thinks things through!

We are going with sheet cake cause I'm not rude enough to not have enough! I love him but golly he's a bit of etiquette mess.

We did cupcakes for the fact we didn't have to worry about running out!
Some places have a small tier and rest are cupcakes. {we did that}

WinstonsGirl · August 2015

I will take anyone's extra cake/cupcake. Just send it to me.

novella1186 · August 2015

My favorite photo was taken by a guest during the ceremony. I've seen a "sneak peek" of our very expensive pro photographer's photos and they did not get anything even close to what this guest got. And a guest-- not the photogs-- was the only person to get a shot of my cousin doing a reading during the ceremony.

In fact, the wedding was over 3 months ago, our contract said we'd have all our photos at a max of 8 weeks, and we've got nothing. I'm pissed. Don't ever tell your guests not to take photos! (hypothetical "you")

H's family pushed a cash bar so hard that he actually started to think it was a good idea. That was the one planning-related argument we had. I died on that hill. I died hard.

julieanne912 · August 2015

We're doing a mini-dessert bar and smaller cakes. I now want to go back to my cake tasting and eat more cake after reading this thread.

Also gave me the idea to have little bags or something for people to take desserts home with them.

charcoalandblush · August 2015

DF thinks I'm the rude one because I'm insisting that we have no liquor at all (rather than an actual cash bar). "But what if they WANT cocktails?" Umm, were you not raised with the phrase "you get what you get and you don't get upset"?

mrscomposer · August 2015

We had homemade tarts instead of cake, and we were eating those tarts until Christmas. So worth it.

Except now I want cake. I might have to tell J to make cake.

luckya23 · August 2015

charcoalandblush said:

DF thinks I'm the rude one because I'm insisting that we have no liquor at all (rather than an actual cash bar). "But what if they WANT cocktails?" Umm, were you not raised with the phrase "you get what you get and you don't get upset"?

I'm one of those people who only drinks fruity cocktails and I would prefer that they were available. So sad for me that we had a venue with only a beer/wine license! Womp womp

That's where the flask comes in, btw.

stefuhknee · August 2015

peachy13 said:

FI upon discovering that he can get on my sweet medical benefits once we're married: "you know we could totally get married on paper and not tell anyone until the real wedding."

Me:

My SO told me the same exact thing but it was so that I could get his amazing medical benefits but I responded the same way.

[Deleted User] · August 2015

charcoalandblush said:

DF thinks I'm the rude one because I'm insisting that we have no liquor at all (rather than an actual cash bar). "But what if they WANT cocktails?" Umm, were you not raised with the phrase "you get what you get and you don't get upset"?

A reception is just a big party. When your guests come to your house for a party you're hosting, do you let them tell you what to go shopping for and provide?

Maybe once in a while to be nice (I'd like to make you dinner for your birthday; any special requests?), or to make sure there are no food allergy issues- but they do not get to decide what you serve / offer.

YogaSandy · August 2015

novella1186 said:
My favorite photo was taken by a guest during the ceremony. I've seen a "sneak peek" of our very expensive pro photographer's photos and they did not get anything even close to what this guest got. And a guest-- not the photogs-- was the only person to get a shot of my cousin doing a reading during the ceremony.

In fact, the wedding was over 3 months ago, our contract said we'd have all our photos at a max of 8 weeks, and we've got nothing. I'm pissed. Don't ever tell your guests not to take photos! (hypothetical "you")

H's family pushed a cash bar so hard that he actually started to think it was a good idea. That was the one planning-related argument we had. I died on that hill. I died hard.

My husband is an amateur photographer. He takes amazing pics. My brother hired DH's mentor as the photographer. This man is great, but takes a very long time to get the pics back, esp before he was retired (small town, definitely not enough work for full time). DH took tonnes of pics at my brother's wedding. We left early that night. DH stayed up until like 2 am editing pics and gave DB and SIL a sack load of pics the next day when they had brunch and opened presents. SIL was so happy. She loves them. So I definitely agree (and for all the other reasons) that an unplugged wedding is not a great idea.

Knottie92548810 · August 2015

I will say things to my fiance, and due to him being a wedding planner, he now understands the thought process of the rest of his brides. He doesn't say the dumb things so I got lucky there.

ericasm0703 · August 2015

My fiancé once suggested that we get his aunt to do our wedding photos because "it would save us so much money." I told him that there's no way I'm getting a guest to work at the wedding. He now will not consider any other photographer besides his middle school band teacher who left to pursue his passion. He's really good, but he's from New York and our wedding is in Maryland so we'll end up incurring a cost for his travel; it'll put him right around the same amount as local photographers.

thefanciestbeckler · August 2015

Last week I asked FI what he wanted to get the groomsmen for gifts. His response: "Why do we have to get them gifts? They are in our wedding. That is a gift."

Me:.......................................................

Bless his heart.

wandajune6 · August 2015

Part of why I love DH: we did sheet cakes in addition to a smaller "pretty" cake. We ordered 2 too many-- probably enough for 60 people to feed off of. We were afraid of there not being enough cake and over bought. We ended up donating the 2 extra cakes to a local food shelter.

DH's biggest blunder: "why do I need to buy gifts for the groomsmen? I never got any."

Grrrrr. Fortunately, I fixed that.

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