Dear Prudie,
I am a naturalized U.S. citizen who returned to my country of birth, Germany, 20 years ago to care for my mother who suffered a severe stroke. I cared for her at home and eventually did the same for my father who died of cancer. I feel that I did the right thing. When I left, my only child joined the Marine Corps. My son is my pride and joy. He is a good, honest, and kind man, now married with a little boy of his own. We are an interracial family, and my son is of mixed black and white parentage. His wife brought into their marriage a little girl, who the first time we met came flying into my arms as if we’d known each other always. My daughter-in-law lost both parents when she was still a teenager, and my step-granddaughter has never met her biological father. My family wants me to return to the U.S. and live with them. As much as I love the idea of being with my children and grandchildren—I feel so alone in Germany—I can’t discount the idea of illness down the road. I have a good pension, but what happens if I become a burden on them? I’ve traveled this path, and I know what it is like to be a caretaker day in and day out. My son says, “Mom, don’t worry. I’ll always be there for you.” What to do?