WR: Vent!

Re: WR: Vent!

• Gabs71109

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I totally sympathize with people thinking that breaking etiquette is "ok" and that bringing extra people is "ok". VERY frustrating. If I can offer a little advice - if this is FI's family you should have your FI make the call. It takes pressure off of you and let's his family know that it is NOT ok with HIM. You don't want to come off as the "bitchy fiance".
  
  Good luck - they should understand and I hope they do not give your FI a hard time!
  
  Here's to no more RUDE RSVPs!
  

  

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• chelley599

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I am having a sort of same issue.  I invited my co-workers because I teach at a very small school.  However, due to to money, I only invited co-workers, no spouses.  I looked up etiquette rules and it says that is ok.  Well the other day, one of the guys wrote in him and his wife. I  am not the type to bring things up so my idea is to say screw it what is one more person.  However, at the same time, I feel it is not fair to everyone else.  I still don't know what to do about that one.
  
  Then today, our best man's rsvp came in.  They wrote 2+infant.  I understand that have a 4 month old and I love her to death but I just have this image of her crying hysterically during reception.  I am going to let that one go.  He is the best man and she is incredibly cute.  I will take my chances.
  

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• Gabs71109

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  That's a tough one Chelley. I can see why you would not want to bring it up. I hate "confrontation" but I think you're right. Your other co-workers will probably be annoyed that they are not allowed to bring their significant others. I know it's awkward but I would hope just letting him know your budget constraints and the fact that you only invited coworkers (no spouses) he'll understand. Assure him that you'll seat him with his other colleagues. I know I would be nervous about who I would be sitting with if my husband was not invited. I've actually never read any etiquette that says it is ok to leave spouses off of an invitation but given you have multiple coworkers you have done this with - hopefully said coworker will understand. GL!

  

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• mlhw NH member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I called cousins FI this AM.  I told her " I recieved your RSVP yesterday.  Unfortunatly due to budget constraints the people listed on the actual RSVP card are the ones that are invited to the wedding.  So T (Her SO) and you are still welcome to come."  She replied obviously irritated, " Well I'll have to let you know because I don't know if I can go without my kids!"  I said with a smile, "Well just let me know by September 9th:)"  I think she will just ignore it and we will end up ordering a plate for her and she just won't show up.  OHHHHH WELLLLL! 
  
  For me I can't let that slide.  If I let her bring her three kids(two of which are actually adults), then I have to let about  8 others bring their kids.  I have a feeling that this is just the start of FI family adding others.  The next phone call he is going to make.  He asked me to do it because I know what to say!

  

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• Jillibeans11681 member

  

  August 2010 edited December 2011

  I had the same problem with my cousin who just had a baby. She RSVP'd and said she'd love to come, but they wouldn't have a sitter. I think it was her way of making an excuse, but regardless, I wasn't going to allow her to bring an infant when I had other people with children who were respecting my wishes. No need to open up a new can of worms over that. I said if it's important to her to be there, she'll find a sitter. As far as the 18 and 22 yo kids ... is there something wrong with them that they can't be left alone at home for a night? I just think she's trying to be difficult. There's one in every crowd. Mine is FBIL/FSIL, yours seems to be FI's cousin. I wish you luck, and I'd advise you not to stress but it's soooooo easier said than done! Keep us posted!
  
  GL with your co-worker Chelly, that's tough. Just remember it's your wedding, do what you want. Try to be diplomatic so you don't come off as rude. Honestly, guys are CLUELESS when it comes to etiquette. I'd honestly wait til you get all your RSVPs back, perhaps you can include the wife. It's very tough to invite half of a married couple. BFs and GFs are another story. Keep us posted

  

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