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Hairdresser & friend - Can my vendor be a guest?

helenasuehelenasue member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
Hi there,

I'm a little confused on the etiquette here. My hairdresser has been doing my hair exclusively for about 15 years, and I absolutely LOVE her. We have a great relationship, and I consider her a personal friend outside of our professional relationship. 

The question is that she is doing my hair for the wedding, but we have not yet sent wedding invitations. I would love to invite her and her husband as guests to the wedding, but I'm not sure if that is somehow rude because she is a vendor. If she was not doing my hair, I would have no question about whether or not to invite her - I absolutely would. I am of course paying her for her time as a vendor, but is it rude to 'put a guest to work' at my wedding? Does it look like I'm being tacky and trying to get my hair done for free by inviting her? Does it look rude to the other vendors if she's a proper guest and they aren't? Does there need to be a separation here, or can she be both?

Thanks for your advice!
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Re: Hairdresser & friend - Can my vendor be a guest?

  • santiago2615santiago2615 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    My FSIL had her friend do her hair and her BMs hair for her wedding (she pad her, of course and she was also invited to the wedding as a guest. I think it would only be rude to "put a guest to work" if you don't pay them. I don't think it looks tacky at all and I don't think your other vendors would know she was the hairdresser.....

    I say invite her as a guest.

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  • julieanne912julieanne912 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think it would be fine, especially since hair is something done before the wedding... so she won't be having to work during the actual wedding itself.  

    Married 9.12.15
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  • OfftheMap27OfftheMap27 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper First Anniversary
    I invited my friend/hair dresser and she was thrilled to be asked! It was also nice because she ended up going to the shower and meeting some of the folks she would do hair on, etc. I say go for it!
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  • NowIamMrsKleinNowIamMrsKlein member
    First Comment First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    I invited my hairdresser to the wedding because of the same situation. She's been doing my hair for 10 years and she is my cousins best friend. I was actually a bridesmaid with her in my cousins wedding 12 years ago. It was a given that she would be doing my wedding hair and I sent her an invite to because I felt like she was 'more than just a vendor'
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  • novella1186novella1186 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    julieanne912 said:
    I think it would be fine, especially since hair is something done before the wedding... so she won't be having to work during the actual wedding itself.  

    This is my thought exactly. I think it's totally fine to invite her since she's a friend. By the time the wedding starts, her work will be done and over with so she can just enjoy being a guest. It would be different if she had to work the entire time, like if she were a photographer, but in this case you're fine. 
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  • helenasuehelenasue member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    What a relief! Thanks for clarifying that. :)
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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I agree, this would be fine.

    You have an established vendor role already (why switch who does your hair when you always use and love her, right?), and you plan to pay her as a vendor.

    The caution against not making guest work at a wedding is a) the lack of payment and b) having a guest do a job during the wedding itself, where they are put into an awkward position of being both a vendor and a guest (i.e. asking a family member to be the photographer).

    Since your friend would be doing your hair earlier in the day, her vendor job would then be over and she is free to be only a guest.

    I think the fact that you say you would also plan to invite her even if she wasn't doing your hair separates her from other vendors and keeps her in the "guest" category.
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    A lot of my close friends work for catering/event planning type of companies; two of my closest have spun out on their own.  I wanted to support their ventures so I offered them right of first refusal, because they are actually close enough to be honest and say no if they didn't want to.  
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